You don't know how much I love you
by KelsArchive
Summary: Jace and Clary love story with drama, action, and romance. Stick with me for the beginning because it gets better as it goes on. Post City of Glass, City of Fallen Angels spoilers are added in at a later point  not yet . Summary bad, story better! DFTBA!
1. Change In A Second

**Good morning, day, and night, readers. So I wrote this about a month ago and my friend Pelowskin (Look her up if you like Doctor Who or Torchwood. She's great.) wouldn't shut up about it. It's obviously my first and not a one-shot. I have the start of my next chapter. And it's a little off of what happened in the latest book so far (April 5th can't come sooner!). Post COG and Max is fine, by the way, and Clary is in Simon's band…. You'll see.**

**DFTBA!,**

**Kelsey.**

"Explain to me then, Jace. Please, enlighten me!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm and acid.

"Clary, get inside. Now," his tone matched mine. I stomped in, my clothes dripping on the hard wood. If this were like usual, I'd be bracing myself for the yelling. But this time, I was angrier than he had any right to be. So he should be the one getting ready for a verbal beating.

"What the hell is wr-" Jace began.

"Don't even start."

"Clary, I swear…" he trailed off looking at me. His gold piercing my green. Which in regular terms would have wrenched my heart and stopped my breath. Now it only made me want to slap him.

"Jace, you really think tha-"

"I do. You don't understand, Clarissa."

"You don't own me, you cocky ba-"

Instead of the words that I expected his lips silenced mine. The kiss was fierce, almost angry. I stood surprised for a moment or two before my eyes slid closed and my arms reached up and twined around his neck. His silky hair curled around my small fingers. For a brief moment I remembered when Izzy told me that fighting to Jace was like sex to other people. I forgot, however, what we were fighting about. I forgot my name.

The kiss slowed and he pulled back. Again his eyes burned into mine. The gold almost liquid. I, all of a sudden, realized that I was pushed tightly between the wall next to the closed door and the tall golden boy.

He was still pushed tight against me. The only change was that his face two inches too far from mine.

"Jace…?" I asked trying not to slaughter the moment.

"Hmm?" His eyes moved up and down my face lingering on my lips for a few moments longer before settling on my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I breathed. He didn't say anything, just took a large step back. He could have left the state and it'd feel the same. His hands left my waist where they had been tightly pressed. His left moved to his hair and his right pushed into his pocket. He walked to sit in the desk chair near the table and the book shelf.

My legs screamed at me to go to him. My fingered twitched and ached to touch him. His eyes were still on mine. Unreadable as he was with other people. Not with me. His vulnerable looks and words when we were alone were two of the infinite things that I love about this boy.

"What is it?" He sounded as he did with Luke and Jocelyn: polite and nonchalant. He walked to the bathroom when I didn't say anything. I moved over to the bed and sank down on the side.

He came back out with a glass of water and looked at me. I bit my lip and looked back. He sat on the desk chair next to the bed. He was directly in front of me still not talking. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Something the matter?" He asked casually after putting down his glass.

"You tell me," I said simply.

He opened his mouth to reply when we heard a knock at the door.

**I'll write more soon. I have a good amount of the next. Rate and review? Maybe? All right, be jokes.**

**DFTBA,**

**Kelsey.**


	2. Berceuse Bonne nuit

**Chapter two! I've been wanting to upload for EVER. I decided that I would give myself a few deadlines so that you guys can read more often. Basically, at the beginning of every month I upload (deadline technically on the last day of the month. So it was January 31****st**** this time) then at the middle and again at the end (beginning). I really hope that that made sense. Haha, sorry for the ramblies. Thank you for reading, lovelies. Let's get started.**

**-Kelsey**

"Jace?" A small voice called behind the door. I sighed quietly.

"Come in, Max," Jace sighed. Max peaked into the room, cracking the door. Jace's face softened as it did when this little boy was around him. Max walked in slowly looking at Jace like he was trying to decide something very important.

"What's wrong?" Jace asked. It was about an hour after Izzy had sent Max to bed. He still was deciding something when he noticed me sitting on Jace's bed. Ignoring Jace's question, he looked at me and beckoned me forward with his index finger. I came over and leaned down so he could whisper in my ear.

"I had a bad dream," he said under his breath. I glanced at a confused Jace and followed Max out of the room. He still seemed to be embarrassed about nightmares. I, for one, thought that he had a perfect excuse to be afraid. Jonathon had scarred me emotionally but Max had long, pink and white, twisting lines on his arms, legs and back. But that was our life. It's in our blood and we were born into it but that didn't make it easy to look into his eyes knowing that my own brother had nearly killed him. He'd injured him to the point that an _iratze_ hadn't helped him with more than a few very minor cuts.

We reached his room where I'd left my guitar that Luke had given to me for Christmas. That was a _good _Christmas. I felt bad for Jocelyn and Luke for a little while because I wasn't there for most of our first official family Christmas. But it was also my first Christmas with Jace so that was that. Jocelyn had practically given me a new wardrobe with all of the gift cards and outfits; while Luke had given me a guitar and a huge art set. I felt like they were compensating for the past few months that had turned my life around.

After that I'd gone to quick show Simon, Erik, and the band about the guitar on my way to the institute. We had Christmas there and they'd waited for me to join them. It was nice to know that I was considered part of the family. Izzy'd also taken it upon herself to triple my clothing supply. Maryse and Robert had given me this and that. Alec gave me paints and brushes. Max had painted me a picture of a manga character that I had taught him to paint. His name was Kyo Usui. Jace waited until we were alone to give me my present, now I know what everyone was thinking, Magnus especially. Alec's boyfriend had given me dozens of pink and striped boxes addressed _Victoria's Secret. _I made _certain_ that Jace _did not _see the boxes let alone the contents of them. I still hadn't done more than crack the lid of one. In the spare glance all I saw was lace—red, skimpy, flimsy lace. No, Jace cannot see or know what I have gotten from that promiscuous warlock.

Jace took me to his room and sat me on his bed handing me the box that I would soon find contained a diamond white gold bracelet; a bracelet that I still haven't taken off.

As we drew closer to Max's room I pulled myself out of the flashback.

"Get into bed, Max," I told him grabbing my guitar. I sang him a gentle song in French as Maryse tended to do. But mine was longer and quieter. He drifted off to sleep and I turned his lamp off while tucking him into bed. I kissed his forehead.

"You're going to wake him," Jace whispered. I jumped at the sound of his liquid voice. He laughed quietly.

"How long have you been there?" I asked in a whisper yell. He was leaned comfortably against the door frame with his strong golden arms crossed against his chest.

He repeated the chorus of the lullaby in perfect, fluid French.

"Don't tell Max you were here. Please, he's embarrassed and doesn't want you to know he's having nightmares. He wants to be a big, strong Shadowhunter to you. Just don't tell him," I begged. A look crossed his face that I didn't have time to decode. He beckoned me forward with his left index finger, turned, and left the room.

I followed, closing the door as I went. When he turned to me and did something I would never have expected from him after the events today.

**I'm so sorry. I had to end there. I wrote all lunch period so I have the beginning of the next chapter. Any guesses as to what our lovely Jace did? Well I love it. By the way, I have completely underestimated my lust for reviews! So if you could make me happy and review that would be **_**amazing.**_** Okay, I'm done begging. Much love for the read and review. Sorry if the stories are too short. It was three pages in for this chapter. :) Thank you, lovelies!**

**-Kelsey.**


	3. More life than love

**Hey, guys. I guess I just decided to write more because I was bored. This is just coming from nowhere because I only wrote the first 214 words in a notebook. Oh well. So this one is the longest I've written yet. Enjoy, my lovelies.**

**DFTBA,**

**Kelsey.**

His hands grasped my waist and pushed me hard against the wall. His eyes met mine with the same look he had before. It clicked in my mind what that look was… lust. Our eyes only connected with mine for half a second before his lips slammed down on mine and my back crashed into the wall. His mouth moved with mine in more passion than any other kiss we'd ever shared. More love than any amount of words could ever begin to describe. His tongue brushed against my lip asking for entrance. I complied immediately. I could hear my heart pounding in my head seeming to scream a chorus of _Jace, Jace, Jace. _Then it ended. His lips abruptly stopped on mine and he pulled back. He put his forehead on mine for a moment before deciding against mine for a moment before deciding that being against me at all was not what he wanted to do. I felt my lips fall into a pout.

"Jace," I said, drawing his eyes away from my feet to my face. I took the confused look on his face as a question.

"Why won't you touch me?" I asked, not beating around the bush.

"There's something I haven't told you, Clary," he said under his breath.

"What is it, Jace?" I asked cautiously.

He grabbed my hand and led me to his room. He sat me on his bed and sat in front of me at the foot of the mattress.

"Clary," he whispered.

"What aren't you telling me, Jace?" I said.

He took a deep breath and said something too low for me to hear. I gave him a questioning look and he looked me in the eye. He repeated what he'd said, "I'm not going to train you."

"W-what?" I muttered.

"I am not going to train you to be a Shadowhunter. And you can't change my mind."

"Jace. _Jace, why won't you train me?" _ Ishouted.

"I don't want to hurt you. I will not hurt you and if I train you someone _will _hurt you," he stated.

"Jace, you're being stupid. If you train me I won't be hurt. You are the best Shadowhunter I've ever seen or heard of, Jace. If you can make me even a fraction of you I will be fine!" I protested.

"Clarissa," he said firmly. "I am not going to be swayed. I will never train you, ever. I understand that you are not happy about that but I cannot imagine inflicting pain on you in any way. Training is hard and painful, period. You don't need to go through that. And I _will not _let that happen to you."

"Look, Lightwood. Correct me if I'm wrong but I've already killed demons. I'm already well equipped in the experience department when it comes to this. If you don't train me I _will_ find someone else. And you are just going to have to deal with that. I'll be trained and I'll go hunting. Whether it is with you or not, I will be hunting at some time soon, and I do very much plan on kicking ass. Just try and stop me," I said. Jace had obviously rubbed off on me but that didn't matter right now.

He didn't say anything so I got up, grabbed my bag, and walked out of the room. I was on the sidewalk, with Jace no doubt still frozen on his bed, when I heard my phone buzz. I rummaged through my bag until I found it.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly.

"Clary! Why did you leave so fast?" Izzy yelled at me.

"It's nothing," I said angrily.

"What did that damn Jace do?" She asked.

"Izzy, it's Jace. Do I really need to explain?" I asked as I started to walk into a street with more and more people.

"I guess not. Where are you going to go?" She asked worried.

"My apartment," I said as I approached the building.

"I'll be right over," she invited herself.

"Okay, I'll talk to you then," I mumbled.

I got up to my door on the tenth floor and turned the key. The smell hit me; my apartment smells exactly like Jace. Like laundry soap and sunshine… if sunshine had a color, of course. I sighed and closed the door behind me. I threw the key into the small bowl on the table next to the door. I hung my bag on the hanger and locked the door. Walking into my little aqua living room I turned on the TV for some sound in the background. I walked into my bedroom and changed into some sweatpants and a tank top. As I went back into the kitchen to make something so Izzy couldn't try I realized how nice it was to technically live alone. But also how strange it was to not have Jace sitting in the chair next to the table or standing directly behind me helping me cook. Maybe I should get a dog, hmm.

I made various snacks and foods so that any of the things that Izzy would want to make were made and in the fridge. I went to go sit on the cute antique-looking arm chair and flipped through the channels until I settled on a chick flick. The chick flick made me think about Jace even more than I had before that. I went over his golden hair and golden eyes as I got up to tidy the apartment. I found a bunch of Jace's T-shirts around for when he'd stayed over. Even though he had been known for being a kind of ladies-man we had yet to sleep together. I think that we've never been together like that because he didn't want me to be uncomfortable or regret anything. Although everyone thought we had sex all the time. I folded his clothes and put them in a drawer in the back of my closet.

After tidying up the apartment I went back into the living room. When I got there I heard a knock on the door. I walked into the hallway, swung open the door, and gasped at what I saw. Needless to say, it wasn't Izzy.

**Was that okay? I hope that that was okay. Oh well, I had fun writing it. I've decided that writing to the Vlogbrothers and using the computer makes me write a lot faster. Also, I make myself stop watching Vlogbrother videos until I start to write; it's very effective. As I've said, reviews make me write faster so please, please, please, PLEASE review this! Alright, I've begged and lost my self-respect enough for one day so I'll stop rambling now. GOOBAAII!**

**DFTBA,**

**Kelsey.**


	4. Green Awnings

**Alright, so the last chapter was full of typos and as ****"****Anonymous1997" pointed out to me. They win at life for doing that. I decided to upload again due to increase of reviews. See, guys, I told you that reviews make me happy. They are like a drug that I can't help but want more of. So the more I get the more I write. There are probably a load of typos, SORRY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or The Mortal Instruments. How can you know? Because Max is dead and Jace thought that he and Clary were siblings.**

He stood there staring at me with those infuriatingly gorgeous golden eyes. The exact set that had made me so angry that I tried to slam the door before he could get in. I forgot how fast he was until his foot slid between the door and the frame.

"Clary!" He hissed at me.

"Go away, Lightwood!" I hissed back with more acid kicking at his booted foot.

"Let me in, Fairchild!" He said. While I was frozen with shock at him using my last name he pushed against the door. "So stubborn," he mumbled.

When he closed the door he turned and smiled at me. I slapped his arm repeatedly saying, "Why are you here?"

"Ouch, Clare! Stop! Izzy told me to come!" He said before he grabbed my wrist to stop it from smacking his arm.

I yanked my arm back and hissed, "Isabelle."

"Clare, I'm sorry. I just can't hurt you," he said as I turned and walked into the kitchen to sit on one of the chairs; I could tell that this conversation would be a long one.

"It hurts me to think that you don't trust yourself enough not to hurt me. And that you don't trust me enough to take you down," I said smiling slightly at the end.

"You couldn't beat me, nobody can. But I just don't want you to be in danger and that is what will happen."

"Do you have any idea what it's like to not go hunting with you; to have to worry about you never coming back?" I asked. I could feel my throat tighten with tears that I held back.

"Clary," he whispered lovingly.

"Damn it all," I said throwing myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my fingers dance with his golden curls. My lips slammed on his and he froze for a moment obviously surprised at my outburst. Then his lips started to move with mine and his arms wrapped around me fast to pull me hard against him. I pulled myself even closer to him and squeezed my arms harder around his neck. I felt his tongue brush against my lips anxiously. I granted him entrance right away and felt him explore my mouth passionately. We were now breathing in gasps and his hands slid up and down my back.

We broke apart and he kissed down my neck. He was at my collar bone when I heard him whisper, "Clary, I love you so much." With a gasp I brought his mouth back to mine and kissed him passionately. His hands went to my hair and pulled my face away from his. "We have to stop," he whispered.

"Why?" I asked as I kissed his throat.

"Not now, Clary. Not tonight," he said.

"Why not?" I asked as he pulled me back to look in my eyes.

"We talked about this," he whispered. "Not yet, someday but not yet. I don't want you to do this because you feel like you have to sleep with me to keep me here."

"Jace, I don't feel that way; you know that. I want to."

He smiled and brushed his fingers against my cheek bone, "Not now."

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed contently. "I love you," I said.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" He asked casually.

"Like where?" I questioned running my hand through his golden curls.

"I don't know, just for a walk," he smiled at me with that irritatingly gorgeous smile.

"Do I need to get dressed up for this?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"I suppose that it wouldn't hurt…" He trailed off still smiling.

"When are we leaving?" I asked.

"How fast can you get dressed?" He answered my question with a question.

"Faster than Izzy," I said getting off of his lap. He laughed as he got up and pulled me into a short hug.

I walked down the hall to my bedroom and shut the door. Sprinting to my closet, I went through my dresses. I ended up picking a black, lacy, and strapless dress that ended half down my thigh. I paired it with black stilettos; thank you, Izzy. After quickly attempting to fix my curls and slight makeup I walked out. I had the momentary ego boost of seeing Jace's eyes practically jumping out of his face. I smiled at his reaction and felt myself blush. As we walked out I grabbed a clutch with my phone, some cash, and a dagger that Jace didn't know I had.

When I locked the door he pulled me into another passionate kiss. After I forced our lips to part I asked, "What was that for?"

"I can't kiss the woman I love?" He asked placing one quicker kiss on my lips before grabbing my hand and starting to walk.

"You think I'm going to say no?" I asked.

"I believe that I did tell you that you could forbid me from doing things like that," he whispered.

"Well I do have neighbors, Jace," I pointed out.

We walked out and onto the street. I saw the usual few thousand girls stare at Jace and rolled my eyes; I've got to get used to that. He didn't ever notice them, more than half of the time I'd look up to see him staring at me. I looked up now and studied his profile; the small scar at his temple and the one slightly uneven curl on the side of his face. There was nothing imperfect about him, I could not find one. He looked at me then with his burning, golden, beautiful eyes.

"Enjoying the view?" He purred.

"You have no idea," I said.

He laughed and squeezed my hand. "Can we quick turn into the Institute?" He asked.

"Sure," I said as we turned the corner to the Institute.

When we got out of the elevator Izzy saw us while she walked into the hall.

"Clary!" She gasped taking in my appearance.

"Hi, Izzy," I whispered, blushing. Jace laughed and placed a quick kiss on my lips. He disappeared into his room.

"Well where are you two off to?" Asked interrogatingly.

"Frankly, I'm not sure," I answered shyly.

"Hmm, why are you so dress up; and very well, might I add."

"He told me to," I said honestly.

"Oh, settle down, Clary!" She said touching my arm. "I'm not going to bite you!"

It was just then that Jace came down the hallway to save me. I tried my hardest not to let my jaw drop. He was dressed up perfectly with a black dress shirt and dark jeans; he also had a tie. He looked like a complete model, even more than usual. His blond curls and topaz eyes stood out amazingly. His tanned skin was perfectly balanced with the dark clothes. Izzy also seemed to approve of our outfits together.

He wrapped his arm around me and whispered, "Let's go."

"Bye, Izz," I said to her.

"Bye bye, lovebirds," she purred behind us.

"Will you please tell me where we're going, Jace? Please?" I begged.

"I'm not going to tell you," he sang.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because that would be too easy and I am not going to give that to you," he laughed.

I made a face that made him laugh more and he pulled me onto 7th Avenue.

"Jace, please tell me?"

"Sorry, darling. You know that I'm not that easy," he said.

"Obviously not," I said, not missing his innuendo.

We walked towards a large building with green awnings and he pulled out a key card that looked suspiciously like a hotel room card.

**I have about five seconds for this but here you go! Review because I sit here and refresh the page waiting for more! Much love, darlings.**

**DFTBA,**

**Kelsey.**


	5. Painted lines

I decided not to ask about the card and why he had it with him. As he opened the door to the large building he moved his hands to cover my eyes.

"Don't attack me," he warned when I gasped. He pulled me forward and I focused on not tripping.

"Is there a reason for you stealing one of my senses?" I asked.

He laughed and didn't say anything other than for me to watch my step or turn. I heard a lot of shuffling and voices. While I tried to decode the quiet talking and clacking of heels I heard the opening of a door.

"Hold on and don't look," Jace whispered into my ear. I felt his hands leave my tightly shut eyes and gasped as Jace swung me up into his arms.

"Jace?" I asked.

"Stairs," he said simply. After we went up a few flights of stairs I was put on my feet again and his hands went over my eyes.

"Tell me where you're taking me?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm good," he laughed.

"Fine," I said as we walked for a minute or so and I heard a key card slip into a slot and a door open. He closed the door and stepped away from me and moved his hands from my still shut eyes.

"Open," he said to me. When I opened my eyes I saw the last thing that I'd expected.

The room was slightly bigger than a studio apartment with walls that were made of brick and grey floors. It was an artistically shaped main room with a spare room that had white walls and a few love seats. The shape of the main room was proper because it was an art studio. There were easels and canvases everywhere and tables covered in pencils, inks, and paint tubes. There were also stools and chairs in front of tables and easels. Also there were two doors off of the little hallway to the main room which I assume are a closet and a bathroom.

"Jace," I whispered in awe.

"You like it?" He asked.

I nodded unable to explain.

"I hoped you would. Did you find out what was down stairs?" He asked.

"I was a little preoccupied trying not to trip over my gorgeous boyfriend because his hands were obstructing my vision. Sorry," I replied.

He laughed and said, "Would you like to find out?"

"Are you going to steal my hearing this time or something?"

"Promise I won't," he vowed crossing his heart.

"Well in that case," I said grabbing his hand and walking out of my new art studio. He walked with me guiding me through the hallways.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Jace asked.

"I'm beginning to believe you," I answered, snuggling slightly closer to his arm.

"So what did you hear downstairs?" He asked as we walked down a large, dark-colored, wooden staircase with green, twirling, and polished railings.

"Heals clacking and talking, so we could be anywhere," I said.

He smiled and stopped me before a double-door. "Are you ready to see what's in here?" He asked still smiling at me.

"Just show me, Jace. I love you but you're driving me crazy," I replied.

He grabbed my hand and opened the door for me. I saw a room full of dress wearing women and suit-jacket wearing men. I also saw wine and waiters walking around. As I walked in I noticed that most of the people in the large room were staring at paintings on the wall and murmuring about them. Jace had taken me to an art show.

"Jace," I whispered. "You took me to an art show? I love you."

Jace laughed and placed his hand on the small of my back, walking forward with me. We walked through a few small and open rooms. One of the ones that I noticed seemed out of place, it was a painting of a few adorable pandas eating bamboo; pandas, really? We had gone through a few of the rooms when we came into one that seemed familiar.

"J-Jace…" I trailed off, my jaw dropping.

His arms went around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder. I saw golden curls out of the side of my eye as I stared at the identical golden hair of the painting in front of us. Under the twisting blond hair were gold and burning eyes. The shirtless torso was a stunning gold and chiseled perfectly with white extended wings that seemed to shoot out and shine with light. This painting I recognized for one simple reason: it was mine. And dozens more of mine plastered those walls. Near mine were my mothers and among those I saw portraits of me that I'd never seen before. In these portraits I was depicted as a hero with painted lines on my skin. The lines weren't runes but they were as close as you get to them.

"Should I not have done this?" He asked worriedly in my ear.

"Jace," I whispered again before I turned and hugged him tightly.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too," I said. I was given the portrait that Jocelyn had painted of me from the owner of the gallery. We went back upstairs to put away the painting then walked out of the building.

"Thank you for that," I said to Jace.

"It's no problem," he said back, tightening the arm he had around my waist.

I saw plenty of girls staring at us and whispering to their friends. I leaned in slightly to his shoulder and smiled. I don't know how I got this man.

"So what are w-" he started before his phone started to buzz. He reached into his breast pocket and read the caller ID. "Izzy," he told me. He started to put it back in his pocket when I snatched it from him.

"Well at least answer it!" I said before I clicked _connect._

"Jace! Why didn't you answer me on the first ri-" she shouted into my ear.

"Izz, calm down!" I whisper yelled back.

"Oh, Clary. I didn't know that this was you… Can I talk to Jace? I need to talk to Jace," she said.

"Uh, sure," I mumbled before I handed the phone to my confused boyfriend.

"Umm, hey, Izz," he said. Izzy spoke for about thirty minutes before Jace said something like, "Crap…. I guess I'll have to tell her then… Thanks, Izz…Bye."

"What was that?" I asked completely curious.

"Uh, it's not important, I'll tell you later. Come on," he put his phone away and grabbed my hand.

"Institute?" I asked.

"Apartment," he said.

"Um, okay."

We walked into my building and were greeted by the doorman. The elevator ride was too long and awkward as I tried to figure out what he was talking to Izzy about and he, I'm sure, was hoping I wouldn't. When we got to the apartment Jace bent down and kissed me as he closed the door with his foot.

As he deepened the kiss I heard, "Whoa there, kids! Slow down!"

I gasped and Jace pulled back to see who had interrupted us but you could tell by the overly familiar voice. Jace wasn't pleased.

**Okay, so I had to upload but again I have not time to write down here! So if there are typos forgive me and I will see you soon. Thank you, lovelies! :)**

**DFTBA,**

**Kelsey.**


	6. As You Wish

**This took **_**way**_** too long to write so here you go! (By the way, I said 30 minutes last chapter, meant thirty seconds.) Treat for reviewers as you can read below! I doubt you want to know what is happening in my life so thank you for reading, lovelies! TYPO WARNING! And I still don't own the lovely man that is Jace or any other characters. Except the panda painting, that's mine.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry.**

"Why are you here?" Jace growled.

"Well, darlings, I just thought I'd make an appearance! I've only been traveling around the world for three months with my Alec!" The blue sparkled warlock answered not seeming to catch Jace's viciousness.

"Sorry guys," Alec said as he stared at the floor.

"Magnus! Alec! How was the trip?" I asked while I straightened my back and left Jace's arms. I ran up and hugged them.

"_Amaaazinggggg!"_ Magnus sang.

"Where did you go again?" Jace asked as he went up to the kitchen, grabbed an apple, and stood against the counter to look through the arch shaped window in the wall that faced the living room.

"Everywhere!" Magnus said.

"Except Canada, no time for Canada this time," Alec added.

I laughed, "We could get there from a train in less than half a day and you didn't have time?"

"Meh," Magnus dismissed.

"Again," Jace began. "Why are you in my girlfriend's apartment while we weren't even home?"

"Because we just got back and knew that you'd eventually be come here," Alec said simply.

"Clary, darling, why is Jace's clothing in your closet?" Magnus inquired.

I blushed and asked, "Why were you in my closet?"

"Never mind that, why is that boy's clothing in your room, Clarissa?" Magnus said.

"Look, Warlock. I'm trying to have a nice time with my girlfriend. So if you could get out and go to your fancy disco ball of an apartment," Jace said.

"Well then," Alec said as he got up, grabbed his flashy boyfriend by the wrist and walked to the door.

"Bye!" I tried to say before the door shut; I didn't quite make it. "What was that?"

"I don't know, Clare. I just don't know," he said, putting his head in his hands.

"Jace," I whispered as I walked around to the kitchen and rubbed his back slightly.

"Clary, I'm so sorry," he whispered back as he looked at me and pulled me into a hug. His arms pulled me against him gently but still firmly with his chin balanced on my head. My hands were against his chest and I snuggled in closer trying to comfort him.

"Sorry for what?" I was curious, now was not the time but I was curious.

"For everything: for the training, and the Alec and Magnus thing, for coming here when you didn't want to see me. I'm just sorry, Clare," he whispered into my hair.

"Jace, it's fine. No big deal," I said into his shoulder.

"No, Clary. It is a big deal and I promised that I would train you. I will, Clare, I just couldn't bring myself to the realization of you being a Shadowhunter and being near demons."

"Thank you, Jace."

"Just… don't get upset if I get overprotective," he asked of me.

"I won't, Jace. I just want to be there when you're fighting—at least some of the time."

"I promise," he said and kissed my hair.

We stayed hugging for a while until I accidentally let out a yawn and he laughed before he kissed my forehead.

"Tired?" He asked, though it wasn't a question because he swept me up in his arms and carried me to my room. I was set down when I realized that I was still in stiletto heels and a short black dress. So I stumbled into my closet—it was a long day, don't judge me—and turned on the light before shutting the door. I peeled off my clothes and walked over to the drawers that held my pajamas. I put on shorts and a camisole before going back out into my room and collapsed on my bed.

I heard Jace laugh after he came out of the bathroom and saw me laying flat on my stomach across the bed with my legs dangling off of the side. I groaned into my comforter trying to stay awake for as long as I could.

"Are you okay?" He whispered closer than I'd expected.

I looked up at him to find him wearing blue, patterned, and tied pajama pants and no shirt. His hand was on my shoulder and he bent over me which made his muscles, runes, and scars stand out prominently. "Uh, I, erm. T-tired," I mumbled staring at his bare torso.

"Enjoying the view?" He laughed as he turned me and pushed me up to the plethora of pillows. "You've no idea," I said, blushing. He chuckled again and put me under the covers. "Geez, are you going to give me a teddy bear too, Jace? I'm not five," I said.

He didn't say anything, only turned out the light and climbed in beside me. I moved to lay my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. We fell asleep that way a few seconds later.

I woke up from a dream about Jace (as usual) to the phone ringing on the counter of the kitchen. I laid there for a second before hurrying through the living room to grab the phone from the counter.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Clary, why do you sound so flustered?" Jocelyn's voice questioned.

"You kind of woke me up and made me sprint to the phone, Mom," I said with a laugh.

"You just woke up?" She sounded confused.

"Um, yes."

"Clary, it's 9:00 in the morning and you were asleep?" She yelled at me.

"Exactly, and you have red hair. Why are we pointing out the obvious?"

"I forgot how cranky you are when you wake up," She said.

"Oh, thanks, Mom."

"I just wanted to tell you that Luke, Maryse, Robert, and I are going to Alicante for an old friend's birthday. I just wanted to let you know."

"Oh, when are you going?" I asked slightly stunned.

"Magnus is making a portal now…" she trailed off.

"Oh, well. Thanks for telling me. Have fun and hug Luke for me."

"Love you, Hon," she said.

"Love you too, Mom. Have fun, bye." She hung up the phone and I stayed standing there for a moment.

"What was that about?" Jace said from the door of my bedroom.

"Our parents are all headed to Alicante."

"When?" He sounded as confused as I had been.

"Now, Magnus is there setting it up as we speak."

"Oh," he said.

After I showered and dressed in light shorts and a floral blouse I went to go find Jace. He was in my living room leaning against the window. He never failed to stun me with his ability to look like a model no matter what he wore. He was in regular jeans and a white t-shirt which shouldn't make my jaw want to drop but it did.

"What are we doing today?" I asked.

"Let's go to the Institute and grab Izz, and Alec for an early lunch?" I suggested.

"As you wish," he said in an obvious quote of Wesley from The Princess Bride, which he pulled off perfectly. He put on his sneakers and I put on my slip-on sneakers.

We went down into the gorgeous sunny day and walked slowly down the sidewalks enjoying the day and each other's presence. As we walked down Seventh Avenue I looked through windows of various shops and restaurants. We got closer to the Institute and Jace seemed to start to worry about something. I didn't ask because I didn't want to start that conversation.

We went to his room to kill some time and we laid on his bed talking about what ever came into our minds. I decided that at noon it was about time to go save Alec from Izzy's cooking. I got up and Jace put his arm around my waist as we walked. I fixed my ponytail quick so that it didn't look like I was laying down for the last hour or so.

"Clare, there's something I didn't tell you. It's about that call from Isabelle yesterday," he said as we got to the kitchen door.

"Okay, but first," I said before I kissed him. I pushed against the door to open it without detaching our lips.

"Angel, you two! Go get a room!" Izzy yelled.

I smiled and pulled back laughing. I looked at her while still in Jace's arms. I fought the urge to gasp when I saw Izzy with a Shadowhunter that I did not care to ever see in my life again. I looked at Jace with a glare and his eyes seemed to say, _I'm sorry, I tried to tell you_.

"Hi, Jace… Clary," they said.

**Oooohhh, who could it be? Haha, sorry about these cliffhangers, guys. I love me the cliffies! Any guesses as to who it is? I'll be doing something for the reviewers. I'll pick one of you, inbox you, and you can pick a word for me to fit into my story… I'm frightened.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry.**


	7. Two feet off of the ground for no reason

**Hello, lovelies. Good to see you again! So this next chapter is extra long because I couldn't stop writing. I wrote the majority of it on my way up to Fargo and finished in the room. The view is gorgeous and very fun to write to so you can thank this amazing city for it. Haha, walking around campus today and eating at this tiny sandwich shop was really inspiring for this so I'll be writing more tonight and tomorrow, I hope it'll be up soon! This is going to be fun. And thanks to **_**lj3girls**_** for the review and she was picked for the word. She chose the word asshat, charming isn't it? Haha, that was very fun to add in! Have fun with the chapter, I know I did! Forgive me if there are typos!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, bro.**

**DFTBA!,**

**KelseyDockry.**

"Aline," I said with a fake yet real looking smile. "I didn't know that you were coming."

"Got in late last night. I was surprised that you weren't here, Jace," she said, smiling at my boyfriend.

"I was out. With Clary," his arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Where did you two come from?" Alec said as he walked in.

"Clary's apartment," Jace answered, oblivious to the rhetorical hint in the question.

Izzy went over to the stove and turned it on. I immediately felt protective of everyone in the room, well, almost everyone, and said, "Jace and I were going to Taki's…" I let the bait float there.

"Mind if I crash your lunch?" Alec said from the doorway.

"You all can if you want to."

"Fine! Fine, I see how it is! I guess we're all goin' then?" Izzy said.

"You all can if you _want _to, Izz," I fixed.

She turned off the stove and untied the apron that clung to her front. Aline got up and walked over to us while Isabelle shimmied the small blade out of her bun letting the hair fall down her back. Jace pulled me out of the room before they had finished all of this. We walked down the hallway casually but I could feel him getting ready for the inevitable scolding. I didn't say anything about _her_; it was good for him to sweat a bit. I didn't want to fight; I'd had enough fighting yesterday to last a week or two. Yesterday we'd fought about training for too long and we'd also fought about me going to Alicante to see everyone. I'd left that and walked into the pouring rain before Izzy had gotten me and made me come back. That was horrible and I do not want to fight with anyone today; except maybe Aline, wouldn't mind kicking her ass.

"Well maybe if you'd let me practice cooking _once_ without going to Taki's or ordering pizza I'd be better at it!" I heard Izzy yell from behind us.

"Doubtful," Alec answered.

"_Alec!_ _Shut up!_" She yelled again.

"Don't talk to my Aly-kinz like that!" Magnus ordered, I suppose that he had come from Alec's room.

Jace and I stopped at the elevator and called it to our floor. I lounged against the wall and he stood in front of me with his hands on my waist. I smiled at him and he looked surprised.

"Sorry," he breathed into my ear.

"You tried to tell me, I didn't let you," I forgave.

He kissed me quickly in reply.

"How long is she here?" I asked after he pulled back.

"I don't know; as long as we'll be spending the night at your place."

I kissed him this time, pushing my hand deeper into his golden curls. He seemed surprised at first and then kissed back. His hand was on the wall for a few seconds before he decided to lift me so that he wouldn't have to bend down. That was the precise second that I heard a small gasp behind me and then a snort. I stopped the kiss as fast as I could, still embarrassed when people caught us even though I had had enough time to get to it.

I looked over Jace's shoulder to learn that the gasp had come from a newly recomposed Aline and he snort: Izzy. I pushed lightly on Jace's chest and he put me back down to my proper height.

"Enjoying your selves, I see," Magnus smirked.

The elevator rang, saved by the bell, and I walked in without saying anything and Jace did the same. Nobody brought it up again and started talking about the next party that the sparkly warlock next to me was going to throw. I heard my phone buzzing in my bag and found it without trouble.

"Hello?" I said quietly.

"Hey, Fray," Simon said.

"Si! What's up?" I asked a little louder.

"Chillin' what's up with you?" He said back. I missed his voice after a few days of not talking.

The elevator beeped and opened so everyone walked out. I followed them while saying, "Goin' to Taki's for lunch. You'd better be there."

Then I saw something that made my heart jump: little Max, glasses on, book clutched to his chest, and fast asleep. I seemed to be the only one that noticed so I walked through to the back of the room and put the phone between my head and shoulder. Simon said something about Erik's girlfriend and I shook Max's shoulder. "Hold on, Si. Max," I whispered. His little eyes fluttered open and his mouth curved into a smile at the sight of me. He was so much like nine year old Simon, with his rumpled video game t-shirt and his crooked glasses.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi, we're going to Taki's. Do you wanna come?" I asked.

He nodded and shook his hair out of his eyes.

"'Kay, I'm back," I said to Simon.

"So anyway, she was with us last night and Erik jumped out from behind her and she literally screamed. And I do mean _screamed," _he said with a laugh. "I'm shocked nobody came to see if we were murdering her."

I laughed as I walked back to Jace with Max, "You guys are horrible!" I said to him.

"True. So band practice tomorrow, Pandemonium the next day. Don't you dare forget!" He reminded me.

"Baby, how could I?" I joked.

Jace's hand twined with mine and I felt at home. "I have no clue, but I've gotta go if you want me at Taki's," Simon said.

"See you in fifteen," I said.

"Fifteen," he confirmed. "Love ya."

"Love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and looked at Jace, a reflex reaction. He was already looking at me and he smiled while he squeezed my hand.

"Are we almost there?" Aline asked suddenly, interrupting Alec's conversation with Max, Iz, and Magnus about some werewolf den in Prague.

"Almost, about ten minutes more of a walk," I told her conversationally.

"Why are there so many people here?" She asked.

"It's New York City, what'd you expect?" Alec said.

"It's more than Alicante."

"Yeah, there are more mundies than Shadowhunters here," I said.

"Weird. Are we going to go hunting tonight?" She asked.

"Why would we?" Alec replied.

Jace was about to make a rude remark when she said, "Isn't that what you do for fun here?"

"What gave you that idea?" Izzy asked.

"Jace told me that you guys go hunting all the time when you were in Alicante. Isn't that right, Jace?" Aline said.

I tried my hardest to look like I didn't care that she just referred to one of the worst days of my life.

"Max is with us so we won't go tonight," was all that Jace said. He didn't even look at her, only stared straight forward.

"Hmm," Aline replied.

We walked for the last five minutes until we walked into Taki's. Jace held the door like a gentleman and leaned down to my ear to say, "I love you."

"I love you too," I said with a smile.

We sat down and he moved as close to me as he could possibly get. His arm was around my waist and tapped up and down my side. My head was on his shoulder and fit perfectly into his neck. I loved him more than anything; in fact, I was willing to wager that I loved him more than anyone had ever loved anyone or anything before. Simon came in and I waved him over. He sat next to Izzy who kissed him quickly; they had officially been exclusive for a while now. The kiss sent a soft pang through me, I was extremely happy that my best friend and my best girlfriend were together but it still was sort of sad to see Simon kiss another woman.

"Hey, Clary," he said.

"Hey, Si."

"Alec, Magnus, asshole," he greeted.

"Leech," Jace grinned. At least they got along in their own weird way.

"Oh, Aline. When'd you get here?"

"Yesterday. Good to see you again, Simon."

"You too. Hey, Max."

"Hi, Simon!" Max greeted from beside me cheerfully.

The same waitress that'd worked here from when I'd met Jace and the others walked up to our table. "Hey guys," she said. "Can I start you off with anything to drink?"

Everyone ordered and she walked off. I saw her look longingly at Jace before she went to go get the drinks. This look reminded me of the first time I'd come here when Jace had snuck off the go make out with her and came back with his ruffled curls and lipstick marks on his neck. Then I thought of how nowadays he'd come back from me with the ruffled curls and crinkled t-shirt, that same devilish look on his face. Okay, Clary. Enough, you're getting carried away!

She came back, took our order and we ate while talking about how Alicante was doing since we'd left. Frankly, after the thought of Jace's golden and ruffled curls I was just waiting to be alone with him. We finished and walked back to the institute. Because of the blood and mark of Cain Simon could come into the Institute now. Jace and I stayed there for a few minutes until we couldn't bear to talk to them anymore. We left with a quick good bye and walked out to the street. When we got to my apartment I closed the door and pushed him against it. I practically attacked him and he was willing to fall prey to me. Our lips stayed locked together for what felt like seven days and seven nights, a _good_ seven days and nights. I pulled my head back and realized that somewhere in that kiss he'd lifted me and I could now see the top of his golden head. I pushed against him and he said, "No."

"Jace," I laughed. "Down."

"No." His head burrowed into the base of my neck.

"Why not?" I asked. I felt like I was talking to a three year old. A tall, gorgeous, golden, stubborn, sexy, angel of a three year old, but still.

"Because," he said. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"You're so stubborn," I said.

"You'd think that you could create a rune to stop that, huh?" He said.

"You'd think that you could stop being stubborn on your own, huh?" I replied.

"You'd think that you could create a rune to get down on your own, huh?" He said into my neck.

"You'd think that I could create a rune to make you stop being such an asshat!" I said back to him.

He laughed and pulled his head back to look at me. "Why down?"

"Because I'm two feet off of the ground for no reason."

"Would you like a reason?" He asked.

"I _had_ a reason but now I'd like to be put on the floor so that I can breathe properly," I answered.

He finally put me on the floor and I felt very short but at least I could breathe. He grabbed my hand and we walked into the apartment.

"So what are we doing now?" He asked.

"I don't know, we could go see a mov-" I was interrupted by a phone call.

I rushed to get the phone off of the counter and almost tripped over Jace as he sat down. "Hello?" I asked.

"Clary, it's Maryse."

"Oh, hi. How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. And how are you, dear?"

"I'm fine."

"I called to talk to Jace, I assume that he is there?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah, he's right here," I said.

"It was nice to hear from you, dear."

"You too." I handed the phone to Jace. "Your mother," I whispered.

"Hello?" He said.

I sat on the counter and watched him talk to his mom. "Yeah… Because she's my girlfriend… No, Mom it's not like that… Look, I'm not going to talk to you about that… Yeah, Aline is at the institute. Why?... No…. No, Maryse. I'm not going to… You know why!... That's not going happen and that's final… Just because you're my mother doesn't mean that I have to do what you tell me to do… No." He hung up and set the phone on the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I got down and walked over.

"Maryse is making me stay at the institute. With Aline," he said.

"_What?_"

**Now that's not that much of a cliffhanger is it? I don't think it is but of course I know what happens next. Haha, This chapter was extra long because of the view and he drive. So thanks again, Fargo! Alright, next chapter very soon! I'll be picking another winner for the word. So review and come again soon, lovelies!**

**DFTBA!,**

**KelseyDockry.**


	8. IOU

**Author's note time: So I love sensitive Jace but I also love angst-y Jace (I love every Jace)! So I thought I'd start it off with that. Short A/N here because I want to get on with this chapter. I'll probably do the reviewer's word thing again but have fun reading. Thank you, lovelies!**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned The Mortal Instruments do you think I'd be on FanFiction?**

"I'm not going to stay there, I'm not going to do that to you," he said.

"Why does Maryse even want you there?" I asked.

"Because Aline freaking Penhallows is there," he sounded angrier that I felt.

"So what does your mother care?"

"She's sucking up to those damn Penhallows and they don't want Aline to be _lonely_," he snorted and said, "They know that she just wants to be with me."

"Why is she sucking up to them?" I was utterly confused.

"I don't know, what does that matter? That bitch Aline sure knows how to play people like freaking puppets."

"Jace, it's fine. You don't have to if you don't want to," I tried to comfort him.

"No, Clare, it isn't fine. I don't know why Maryse thinks she owns me like that."

"She's your mother, Jace,"

"I don't give a damn if she took me in when I was ten. I could have gotten along fine without her."

"No, Jace, you know that you love her."

"No I _love_ you. I'm just plan pissed at her. I mean by the angel! Do you know what she said to me?" He asked.

"No, I couldn't hear from the counter," I said.

"She asked me why I was here and I told her because you're my girlfriend. Then she asked me if I was only here for sex and I told her it wasn't like that. Then she told me that I needed space from you and that I need to stop being around you all of the time." He was fuming.

"Jace…" I didn't know what to think about that or what to say.

"I can't believe her! Ugh, she thinks that Izzy and Alec are little perfect kids and that I'm the second coming of Valentine."

I put my hands on either side of his face and waited for him to look at me eyes. "Jace," I said. "You. Are. Not. Valentine. Okay? You aren't anything like him. Please tell me you understand that."

He pulled me onto his lap and hugged me. "I love you, Clare. Do you know that? I love you more than I should ever be able to love anyone."

That was enough of an answer for me. I kissed him softly in reply and his arms tightened around my waist crushing me into his torso. His hands roamed my back and shoulder as if to make certain that I was there and not going to disappear at any given moment. I remembered the time that I thought that he would disappear from my arms. The time that I was afraid to breathe or open my eyes around him because I thought he'd be gone and never come back. That feeling was terrible and I never wanted him to feel that way. I rested my head on his shoulder and tried to reassure him that I was there for the long run.

"You don't mind if I crash here do you?" He suddenly asked.

I laughed and said, "Have I ever?"

"So what are we going to do to make you feel better?" I asked him after a while.

"Let's get out of here. Let's go do something," he answered. He got up suddenly, pulling me up fast with him. I laughed at him.

"Where are we going?" His hand pulled mine fast to the door and I slid on my shoes almost too slow.

"I don't know! Let's walk until we've found something to do!" He said pulling me quickly down the stairs. I almost tripped over him and I couldn't stop laughing.

We hit the side walk and he ran down it dragging me behind him, still laughing, and dodging all of the other people. We slowed after a minute and he just walked by me smiling like a little kid.

"Where are we walkin' to?" I asked.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked that infuriatingly gorgeous smile still on his lips.

"I have an idea," I said, taking the lead this time.

"What is your idea?" He asked.

"I owe you somethin'," I told him.

"And what would that be?" He asked.

"Oh that'd be a secret."

We walked until we went to a shop on the outside of the mall. I looked at his confused face and laughed. The shop was small for a big mall like this but still bigger than a little boutique. The walls were a light green and plastered with band and movie posters. The floors were light wood and the racks held various kinds of clothing for men.

"What are we here for?" Jace asked as his eyes scanned the racks of clothes.

"Hi, I'm Maria. Can I help you two?" A short sales woman asked. Maria had long bleach blonde hair that was very straight and pulled back into a ponytail. She was wearing skin tight blue jeans, pink high tops, and a blousy orange tank top. She was short, shorter than I was and very skinny.

"No, thanks," I said. I looked to the front of the store and saw exactly what I was looking for. I pulled him with me as I walked back to the rack that held the leather jackets.

"Jackets?" He sounded very confused.

"Hmm," I searched through the rack until I found a replica of the jacket I was looking for. "Here we are!" I pulled it out and showed him. "Look familiar?"

"No way!" He examined it. "This," he said. "This is-"

"Your jacket," I said.

"Why?"

"I kind of owe you one after that night on the boat and that demon, wouldn't you say?"

He smiled, "I love you so much."

"Yes, I know. Try it on."

He took it and pulled it off of the hanger. He slid it on over his white t-shirt. I stared at him, I didn't think that it was possible for him to look better than he had but this jacket actually did the impossible. I realized that I was staring for too long and moved my eyes to his. He smirked at me, his eyes telling me that he noticed the awe that played out on my face.

"I'm guessing that it looks okay then?" He laughed.

I blushed and looked over at the counter. Maria was staring just as much as I had been with lust written all over her face. "Maybe you should ask Maria over there," I said.

He laughed and put an arm around my waist. "You can't blame me for my rock star good looks," he whispered into my ear.

I elbowed him in the ribs and he shrugged off the jacked with another laugh. We went over and bought the jacket. He looked like a kid who was just bought a lifetime supply of candy and Lego's and were told that they were moving to Disneyland.

We walked out and I asked, "Happy?"

"Very."

"Good, that took forever to find."

He laughed and I looked up at the sky. It was becoming a pink and violet which was the warning for me to go and sing to Max so that he could sleep.

"Jace…?" I was worried that he would be upset if I went back to the Institute with or without him.

"Hmm?" He whispered in my ear.

"Max…" I pointed at the sky and he seemed to understand.

He sighed and said, "Okay, let's go."

"I'm sorry but you know that he won't sleep if I don't."

"I know," he sighed.

"I love you," I said trying to make him feel better.

"I love you too," it almost sounded like a reflex.

We continued walking and I noticed that I was late when every neon light in the city went on. We hurried and the elevator was painfully slow. I had my plan down, walk fast to Max's room, get him to sleep, and then get out of here as fast as I can. That plan had to be followed and preferably without Aline emerging from her cave of doom.

The elevator opened and Jace went out to his room to avoid being seen while I hurried to Max's. When I got there he was pacing around his room, "Something wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, Clary," he seemed startled. "I didn't hear you."

"It's late." I pointed at the alarm clock. "Bed, now."

He laughed and I pulled out my guitar. My hands started strumming and I sang in fluid French. When I'd finished the last line I looked back at Max and he was already asleep. I don't think that he'd ever heard the full song. I stuck to the plan and turned to go out in the hall. Of course a plan so well thought out couldn't go perfectly.

"Oh, Clary darling!" Magnus said.

"Hi, Magnus," I said while I still walked through the hall, hustling to Jace's room.

"Where are you going so fast?" He asked.

"To get Jace," I said.

"Where are you two going to go?" He asked, keeping up with me easily.

"Probably my place," I said.

"Ooohhh."

"Not for that, Magnus!" I blushed.

"Sure, Clary. I _totally_ believe you," sarcasm oozing out of his voice.

I got to Jace's closed door and turned around to face Magnus. I smiled and placed my hand on the doorknob.

"Well have _fuuunnnnn_ with Jace."

"Bye, Magnus."

I opened the door and Jace walked out. "_Be safe!_" Magnus yelled down the hall.

"What was that?" Jace asked with a cocky smile.

"Shut up," I murmured as I walked the opposite way as Magnus.

"Let's go!" He whispered to me and pulled me by the hand as he jogged down the hall.

We turned the corner and ran straight for the elevators. We got there and went behind one wall to hide. I felt extremely foolish for having so much fun with this hide and seek thing. Judging by the smile that played on Jace's mouth he did too.

The elevator came way too slow and the music was just insanely aggravating. I was worried that Aline would summon the elevator and that we would be on when she did. Thank the angel that that wasn't the case. The doors creaked open and we ran again through the chapel and down the sidewalk.  
We decided that half a block away was far enough that we didn't have to worry about being caught. I saw the regular crowd of people on the street. The crowd was mostly tourist couples as the families would be eating or elsewhere by now. The night life started to creep by as the sky and air around us got darker and darker by the second. The neon lights that I'd grown up around all flicked on which officially told every parent to shuffle their kids to the hotels and all of the couples and singles to come out and party. We walked down the sidewalks and I looked at the buildings that I'd known better than any in Times Square.

"So now what?" I asked him as my eyes shifted from the neon lights to the pretty light in his eyes.

"I feel rebellious, let's go litter."

"Jace, I'm serious."

"Is it my turn to drag you somewhere?"

"I suppose it is."

"And so it shall be," he said and squeezed my hand. So we walked.

**So now is the Author's note: Whoa! I just realized that this makes me kind of an author! **_**Dude!**_** Now I feel special. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing maybe? That would be so nice! Okay, you know the word deal and this week it was **_**Fallen Angel211**_** who chose **_**rock star good looks**_**. So I'll probably pick another reviewer for the word but I might not because waiting for replies kills me and I hate not being able to write!**


	9. A million stars

**Hey, don't have time for a note so here is the next chapter. Action and romance awaits! Review please, I'm pathetic and refresh the page waiting for them. Thank you, lovelies. Enjoy!**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry.**

"So you're taking me to…?" I asked.

"Pandemonium," he replied.

"Well that was surprisingly easy," I said. We walked up the stairs of my apartment building and Jace kept his foot half a step behind mine causing me to repeatedly trip over him and fall into his chest. He seemed to think that his influencing my balance was hilarious and every time I'd try to get out of his hold on my waist he'd tighten his grip. By the time we got to my apartment we were a laughing mess.

I got out the keys to open the door when the next apartment over opened. The thirteen year old girl that lived there walked out to see what was going on out here. "Oh hi, Clary," she said with her eyes locked on Jace.

"Hi, Haylee," I said and opened the door.

"Who's this?" Her blue eyes were trained on Jace's every move.

"This is my boyfriend Jace," He placed one arm on my waist and waved to her with the other.

"Hi, Jace," she blinked twice and walked back into her apartment, closing the door.

"I think she likes me," Jace joked and ushered me into my home.

"I like you too."

I hung up my keys and kicked off my shoes. Jace practically collapsed on the couch and groaned. I laughed at the door and snuck up behind him, crouching next to his blond head that was burrowed into the couch. He looked up and jumped slightly when he saw how close I was to him. "Surprise you?" I asked.

"Okay, I've got to train you soon. You're going to be damn good," he replied and leaned forward for a kiss.

I did a back flip before he could reach me and laughed, "I'm already damn good."

"Very, very true, my love."

I went back into my closet and closed the door. Peeling off my clothes and singing to myself I snuck my steele out of the pocketed hoodie in the drawer to the back of the closet. I kept singing while I pressed the burning tip to the flesh that would be covered by my dress. The singing was purely my easiest way to make Jace believe that I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't have done. I prayed that he couldn't smell the burning runes that snaked around my waist and hips. I finished and exhaled slowly which was the exact moment that I heard Jace knock on the door.

"Clary, are you okay?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine, why?" I panicked while ripping a dress off of the hanger.

"No reason, can I come in? I'm going to grab something to wear," he said, turning the door knob.

"One second!" I yelped on the other side of that door. The dress was being extremely stubborn and didn't want to come off the hanger.

"Can I come in now?" Jace asked.

"No!" I finally got the dress off of the hanger and started to pull it on.

"Screw it," he said and threw the door open.

"Jace!" I squeaked and clutched the front of my dress to my chest. I had zipped it up just enough to hide the fresh runes.

"Sorry," he said and went into the back dresser that contained his clothing.

"Is there a reason that you couldn't wait five more seconds?" I asked with my eyes set on his now bare torso.

"Mmm, I thought that this would be more fun," he said as he walked over to me and brushed my hair over one shoulder. He zipped the rest of the dress up and leaned his head down to brush his lips on my shoulder and up my neck. I leaned back into him and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment and the feel of his lips on the crook of my neck. A small whimper slipped through my lips and I felt his mouth curl into a smile against my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror in front of us to see me melted into Jace's shirtless body, him with his hands grasping my hips, and me with my arms wrapped around his neck, standing in front of him. I focused on him, his hair falling over his golden, lust-filled eyes, face buried into my neck and shoulder.

"Jace," I whispered into his ear. He bit my neck gently when I said his name and I whimpered again, unable to help myself. At that point I had had enough; I turned around and pushed my lips to his with fiery passion. He pushed me forward against the mirror. I ran my hands over his bare chest and smiled on his mouth. This lasted for a very long time before I began to worry about the fact that my body needed air to stay alive and so far my body really, _really_ likes to be alive as being alive allows you to do things like make out with your insanely hot boyfriend. I gasped and moved my head down slightly to break off the kiss. While my lungs chastised me for the lack of air I got a sort of cocky boost to my ego when I heard that his breathing was just as deep and labored as mine was.

"Wow," he breathed against my forehead before turning and walking away from me back to the dresser. And let me tell you, wow was so, _so_ right. I mean _damn_.

"Um, are we, uh, still going to, uh, P-Pandemonium?" I stuttered.

"Of course we are," his breath back to the normal rate which made me very jealous.

"Okay," I walked out of the closet (more like stumbled) and collapsed onto one of the couches.

_I turned over on a cold, hard surface. My eyes fluttered and opened against what I assumed was grass but I could never be sure because it was so blurry and black outside. My next breath came out in a groan muffled against the sod-y ground. The taste of the meadow was so unpleasant and unwanted that I pushed myself to roll over as fast as I could. My eyes squeezed shut at the shock of bright stars everywhere above me and I rejected the thought of laying down at all. So as I pushed myself up my hands landed on a piece of parchment that slightly crumpled under my touch. I blinked twice and turned to see what it was. My name was printed on the front so I unfolded it and read on._

_Clare,_

_ I'm sorry that I wasn't here to see you wake up but I had to leave for a moment. I promise that I'll be back before you can begin to properly miss me. Again, I'm sorry that I wasn't here._

_ I love you,_

_ Jace._

_ I smiled at the note and looked back up at the stars and gasped slightly at the constellation that was painted, it said Jace; thousands, millions of stars spelling out his name in the middle of the night. It was incredible. I saw him in the corner of the meadow and he smiled at me. My lips pulled into a smile and I got up to go to him. But something seemed wrong, as I approached him I reached out and when my fingers should have touched his cheek bones they dipped into nothing. I turned around to see him behind me; transparent._

_ "Clary," he whispered. "Clary, wake-"_

"Up!" Jace shook my shoulder softly.

"Oh, sorry," I said with a yawn.

"How did you fall asleep? I was in there for ten minutes and you fell asleep. You usually can't fall asleep for twenty minutes after we go to bed."

"Yeah well usually I'm bothered by your smartass comments."

"Come on," he laughed and walked to the door, unlocked it, took my keys, and went out without me.

"Jace!" I yelled while I got up to follow him.

I caught up to him and he pulled me closer by the waist. My head rested on his shoulder in the elevator while I listened to the horribly cheesy elevator music. We walked to Pandemonium where all of the teenage and early twenty year olds stared at Jace. He walked up to the bouncer with the cliché pony tail and the cliché white t-shirt. The bouncer pulled that '_oh hey, man. What up?_' head nod and hand shake that you were apparently born knowing if you have a y chromosome. Jace said something to him and turned to point at me, I waved slightly and the bouncer smiled. They did the hank-shake thing again and Jace came over to get me.

"What was that?" I asked when we walked into the club with strobe lights and dancers getting a little too close for comfort.

"What, Hank? I told him that we were coming out tonight. He's cool, he's a Shadowhunter too."

"Oh, that doesn't really m-"

"Clary?" A startled Alec appeared.

"Alec! What are you doing here?" I was completely stunned to see the boy and searched the crowd for his boyfriend.

I found his boyfriend and with his boyfriend I found Isabelle and the "lovely" freaking Aline.

"We're here to hunt. You knew that Aline wanted to go hunting while she was here," he told me. Jace and I froze in unison at that but I recovered sooner so that I could try to wake him.

"Jace?" I poked him in the shoulder. "Hello?"

"I think you broke your boyfriend, sweetheart," Magnus told us when the group had come over. "What were you two doing that made him freeze like that, young lady?" He waved his hand in front of Jace's face and stared at him.

"Jace, baby?" I whispered. "Are you still okay?"

"I'm. Fine," he said before grabbing Magnus' wrist to stop it from waving at him.

"Well, mister crab-ass," Magnus mocked.

"So, um, are we going to hunt or not?" Freaking Aline asked impatiently while picking at her nails.

"Sure," Izzy said and turned to walk onto the dance floor. Freaking Aline and Magnus walked after her shortly followed by Alec who stared at Jace for a while in a sort of silent conversation.

"So are we going to hunt too?" I asked hopefully.

"No… I mean if you don't want to…" he obviously wanted to and was asking for permission.

"Go and play, I'm going to go and talk to Izzy," I waved him off and he kissed my lips fast before jogging over to Alec.

I danced my way through the ocean of bodies and next to Izzy. "Do we have a target?" I asked over the music.

"We do, you don't get your teeny tiny little ass back over to your boyfriend," Izzy responded.

"Izzy, I'm hunting with you, period."

She deliberated with that for a while and finally mumbled, "Fine. It's that blond boy in the corner there with the purple eyes."

"Thank you! Who's bait?" I asked.

"Who do you think?" Izzy spat before pointing to the almost naked and slutty looking freaking Aline that was trying to dance with the target. The target however would not respond to her grinding and searched the crowd for a suitable prey. I found this rejection hilarious and long overdue.

"Slut," I said and turned to see that Izzy had gone to the bar with Jace, Magnus, and Alec.

I danced as close to by myself as I could in this close and tight crowd when I felt hands on my hips. I saw a flash of blond out of the corner of my eye and turned to see what I expected was Jace. It wasn't the gorgeous and easy to lust after Jace but the purple eyed, blond haired demon with his long nailed hands on my hips. Trying to stay as calm as I could I continued dancing with him. The only problem with that was that I, untrained, never-properly-hunted, and obviously in love with my beautiful boyfriend, the Shadowhunter was now put up against he, vicious, fast, blood-thirsty, predator, the demon in a fight to the death. I smiled at him and waited until he bent down in his dancing to steal a quick glance at Jace. Jace was _pissed_ and yelling at Izzy and the rest of them about something and the way that he pointed I could guess that it was my being bait. My glance got his attention somehow because he looked to me and I give him a gaze over the demon's shoulder that told him two things, (1) that I was scared, and (2) that I was ready to take him into the storage room and kill him. Jace automatically jumped up from his seat and stared at me.

"Follow me," I whispered huskily into the demon's ear. I turned and walked into the storage room while freaking Aline continued to argue with Jace. We got into the ever dark and damp room that was marked 'KEEP OUT!' and I closed the door, smiling at the horrible creature. He smiled back at me and went in for a kiss. I dodged this kiss with top speed and grabbed the cord at our feet, tied his hands together and continued to trip him and tie his feet to his hands. This happened faster than I thought I could move so I reached into my clutch for the dagger I'd always carried with me. The door was kicked open and I had my knife at the throat of the demon.

"Clary?" Jace seemed extremely confused.

"_Damn!_" Izzy said when she saw how I had more or less brought the demon to his death while knocking him out from a hit to the head.

"How did you…?" Jace trailed off with a puzzled look on his face.

"She's a badass," Izzy said as if it were a fact like two plus two equals four.

"What happened here?" Freaking Aline spat.

"Oh, I kicked ass," I said and tightened the cord to emphasize the sentence.

The demon began to wake so I leaned down next to it again and watched for a second before pressing the dagger against its throat again. It groaned and tried to move before shooting its eyes open when it realized that it was tied. "Morning, sunshine," I purred to it.

"Shadowhunter!" It hissed.

"Yup," I said, popping the p. "Now that we've got this sorted, who are you with?"

"Why would I tell you that?" It continued to hiss.

"Because if you don't I can just torture you before killing you. Is that what you want, honey?"

"I came alone."

"Hmm, I doubt it," I put more pressure on the knife.

"Wait, wait! I'm alone, I swear!" It yelled.

"Okay, okay, I believe you. Now any last words?" It opened his mouth to say something. "Didn't think so," I plunged the dagger into his chest and twisted it, making it disappear cleanly and without inchor stains on my heels.

I stood and turned around to the group that stood there, jaw dropped.

"Well then. Now that that is taken care of. Any more things that you want to do before you go home, Aline?" Alec asked.

She snorted and walked out of the room.

"Why were you guys here anyway?" Izzy asked Jace.

"Oh, it was my turn to take her somewhere," he kept his eyes on me, smiling.

"Do you guys ever plan anything?" She stormed out.

Jace and I stood there staring at each other for a long time before he closed the distance and kissed me. We then had no need to be anywhere near this nightclub and went back to my apartment. The phone rang again.

"Hello?" Jace asked. "It's your mom," he said and handed the phone to me, brushed my cheek with his hand and went to take a shower.

"Mom, hi!" I said.

"Clary honey, I have to tell you something, it's important. Like, life changing important."

**And so we leave off. Sorry about the lack of chapters, I had some family problems that are still happening but I have to upload this now. Review PLEASE! Thank you, lovelies.**

** DFTBA,**

** KelseyDockry.**


	10. One Family

**Hey, lovelies. So I this is a shorter chapter but I just needed to upload it so here this is. My family is going through a really tough time right now so I don't know how much will be uploaded and thanks to those of you who commented on it in the reviews. Without further delay **_**here**_** is your next chapter! Forgive me for my typos!**

**Disclaimer: I promise that I don't own The Mortal Instruments. Pinky Promise. **

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry.**

"What happened? What's wrong?" I said, frozen.

"No, no. Nothing is wrong at all, it's good news!" She squealed.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

"I'm having a baby!" She sang.

"… What?"

"Luke and I are pregnant!" She said.

"Are you… Angel, Mom. That's _great! _How far along are you? Do you have a due date? Does Luke know? Do Maryse and Robert know? Oh, Angel; this is amazing! Are you having morning sickness or a-"

"Clary, breathe! I'm fine. I'm only about a month in and I haven't seen a doctor yet. I haven't even told Luke yet! It's only you, me, and the baby that know now!" She said.

I sat down happily in the kitchen and sighed. "This is so great. Why haven't you told Luke yet?"

"I want your help. I want your help with everything, actually: baby proofing, naming, oh, and of course the nursery. You're so good at decorating, I mean just look at your apartment!" She was so happy, I don't think that I've heard her this happy since I lived with them before the wedding.

"I am so excited!" I said. "Oh, when are you coming home so that I can hug you?"

"Tomorrow morning, we're all coming home, the four of us."

"Is Aline going back to Alicante then?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm not sure." She yawned then and pulled me out of the momentary lapse in time-management.

"Okay, go to bed now, Mom. I'll see you tomorrow. You need sleep."

"Oh, all right. I'll talk to you tomorrow, then! Good night!" She said.

"Night, Mom. Sleep well, love you," I hung up and sighed happily.

Jace walked out in a minute with a towel around his waist, _wow_, and looked at me confused. "What are you so happy about?"

"Well for one, my gorgeous boyfriend is standing in front of me in a towel and my mom just told me really good news. But you can't tell anyone, okay? She hasn't even told Luke."

"Okay," he said.

"Jocelyn is pregnant!"

"What? That's great!" He said and hugged me.

"I'm so excited and she wants me to help her with the nursery, and the names, and telling people. It is going to be so great."

"Well you are going to get a little brother-or sister."

"Well I have Max," I said. It was completely insane how fast Jace's family had become my family and how my family had become Jace's.

"True but this is your actual blood-related sibling."

"I'm so excited!" I repeated happily and skipped into my closet to change.

"By the Angel," I whispered when I caught a glimpse at my torso. Bare, no runes, no scars, no blood; nothing. I stared at it for a few minutes before sliding on a long sleeved shirt of Jace's and walked out to see Jace in only boxers; which, let me tell you, was not a bad sight at all.

He climbed into bed and curled into the blankets like a three year old, "You're cute," I said as I turned off the light and crawled in next to him. I turned to see the covers bawled up in his fists from the inside and pulled up to his cheek bones. His big gold eyes stared back at me and I felt the relationship equivalent of a fan-girl attack. I pulled those covers down just enough for me to press my lips to his gently. I felt his lips smile before his arms engulfed me and pushed me against him, bringing the covers over us both. I remembered how horribly empty my apartment had seemed without him and how much everything that I own smells like him. I began to wonder as his lips moved against mine and his body crushed my body to his if his room had smelled like me or seemed empty to him when I was not there and he was not here. I wondered if he ever smelled the smell of me and smiled as I did when I smelled his laundry soap and sunshine smell. I realized how I had always been wrapped up in his scent and in him himself and how I never planned to change this and if he were willing to have me it never would change. This made me more excited than anything ever had and gave me more bliss than any thought or beach closing scene of a movie had ever given me. His hands went to the hem of my shirt and pushed it up slightly, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Jace," I whispered in a warning tone.

"Yes?" He replied, still pushing my shirt up.

His hand reached half way up my rib cage when I caught it and stopped kissing him. He didn't seem to be taken by this because his hand continued its way around my back and tried to pull my shirt off that way. "Jace, stop. We need to stop,"

"I don't want to stop and I don't think that you want to stop," he said and ran his hand down my back to the elastic waistband of my shorts. His thumb dipped under the waistband at the part of my hip that stood out near the front.

"Jace, please stop," he didn't and pulled my face back to his. I began to wonder why I wanted to stop in the first place. "Why now?"

"Because I can't handle not being with you and I don't want to wait any longer. Also, I know that you don't want to wait anymore, you said so yourself just yesterday."

"But I don't want to now. Can't we please just wait a little while longer?"

"Clary, I'm not going to make you if you don't want to," he said and I put my head on his chest as I did every night and we drifted off to sleep together as we did every night.

I woke in the morning with that warm, in love feeling that I always felt with Jace's body against mine, his hands in my hair or on my back, and his scent caught in the sheets. I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with how nice he smells but for some reason that is what I notice when he's not around. I decided that I should stop being stubborn and wake up. My eyes fluttered open and my head turned up to see the sleeping angel next to me. I moved his arm from my waist and gently got out of bed, trying not to wake him. I went and changed into some proper clothes and came out to see that he was still sleeping. My feet hustled through the room and I closed the door quietly, cringing when it shut because I didn't want to wake him. Slipping my shoes on and grabbing my keys, I looked into a mirror, pulled up my hair up into a pony tail and locked the door behind me. I turned to see Haylee in the hall also just locking her door.

"Hi, Clary!" She said with her usual excitement.

"Hey, Haylee. Where are you going?" I asked.

"My mom said that there was a message downstairs at the desk and sent me to check."

We went down to the lobby and I got my mail. There were the usual junk mail envelopes and all of that but there were a few letters marked personally to me will handwriting. I opened a few on the way down which were basically just unnecessary junk. The elevator ride up was boring and awkward what with the couple of people also in the elevator that cleared their throats periodically. The elevator rang and announced that it had creaked its way to the tenth floor. I tried to stop myself from praising the floor of the tenth story when I got off of that ill at ease, little box with the people that like to stare. The hallway streaked past me as I fast walked to my apartment and closed the door behind me.

Jace was still asleep so I called Jocelyn to see when she was coming. Sitting down and grabbing the note pad for messages, I waited for her to pick up. Pulling the pen across the note pad and listening to the ringing tone I started to daydream about Jace and my new sibling and how eventually that new sibling with have a niece or nephew from me. I thought about how close in years my little sibling and my child could be if Jace and I stayed this close and I thought about how Jace and I would defiantly have a baby if we were still together, which we almost certainly would be. That should have scared me to incredible heights but what was even scarier that than I could have a baby in two years if I stayed at the same pace as I was is that it didn't sound bad. This idea of having Jace's kids did not seem like a bad thing at all and it only made me want to go into my room, wake him up, and marry him right now. That is what should have scared me but again it did not. I realized then, when my mother answered her phone and when I began to talk to her about her new child, my new brother or sister, that I loved Jace more than I had ever loved anyone and no doubt more than anyone had ever loved anything. It was incalculable, the love I had for Jace.

"So what are you doing?" I asked.

"Eating the breakfast that Luke made me!" She said.

"And how is that?"

She thought for a while about this and concluded with, "Scrumptious."

**That's it, folks. I was requested to use scrumptious so here you go. Thanks in advance for the reviews (Is my begging for them out of line?) I thrive off of them. And I was thinking, should I go more into detail about my life in my Author's notes. Anyway, I love you guys for being you.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry**


	11. Our Own Little Eternity

**Next chapter up here! Please forgive me for my typos. Without further ado, here's your next chapter!**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**

When I'd hung up with my mother I put my head down on the counter and groaned. Somehow, I had gotten tired already but I was scared to wake Jace. After about ten minutes I stopped caring about that and tiptoed into my room. He was laying there shirtless and on his back with his arms above the covers. The covers draped over his waist and the high amount of pillows sat under him. He looked almost too peaceful for me to climb back in next to him. I did say almost.

I closed the door and the blinds so that it was once again dark. I slid into bed next to him and curled up against his body. Still sleeping, he turned and wrapped his arms around me. Wow, that was one of my favorite reflects of his.

We woke in a few hours and laid there talking. Jace's cell phone rang and he leaned over me to search for it. Once he got it he groaned and stayed leaning over me with his elbows on either side of me.

"What do you want, Magnus?" He asked.

I could hear Magnus say something sarcastic with my name mixed in. Jace seemed to like what he said because he smiled and replied, "I think you know that didn't happen. You've met Clary." I looked at him in a very 'did-you-just-insult-me-you-jackass' way. He looked down at me, laughed, and kissed the tip of my nose. "… I don't think I've ever met a sex driven Clary before. Where'd you find her?" I hit his arm and blushed. "… What Christmas presents?"

"Oh no," I flushed deeper and covered my face. Peeking through my small fingers, I saw Jace's eyes pop open wider and look at me obviously amazed.

"You gave that to her, huh?... No, I haven't seen any of those on her…. I doubt that you can make her do that… No, Magnus she'll just be embarrassed. She's blushing worse than I've ever seen, right now, so I don't think that'll work… Alright, why did you really call? I mean, other than to ask about Clary and my sex life?"

"Oh my angel," I said, pulling a pillow over my head to hide my face.

"Uh, yeah I think she'd be okay with that," he said. "Let me ask her. Clary, Magnus wants to go out shopping with you today. It's okay with you, right?"

I thought about exactly what Magnus would want to shop for and could not imagine any of those things not being embarrassing and something that only Jace should see. I pushed the pillow up and looked him in the eye, "You're not coming."

He laughed, "She's in, don't embarrass her… Okay, bye." He hung up the phone and said, "He's coming over in an hour and a half."

"Why does he want to go today?" I asked.

"Because of tomorrow."

"Wait, what's tomorrow?"

"Babe, it's your eighteenth birthday tomorrow."

"Whoa!" I completely forgot about that.

"Yeah, becoming an adult slips my mind all the time too! It's the weirdest thing!"

"Shut up," I said, pushing on his bare chest to get him off of me. "I'm going to go take a shower."

He jumped up out of bed and proclaimed, "I shall help the damsel in distress!"

"No thee shan't," I said stubbornly.

"Are you sure? You know that you could slide, fall, and die in there. It's best if I protect you from that horrible, slippery death."

"Kiss my ass, Jace."

"Gladly!" He moved to follow me.

"The Venn Diagram of times you take my sarcasm as a serious statement and times that you sound like an irritating jerk is a circle."

An hour and a half later, Magnus showed up. "Hello, darlings," he said.

"Hey, Magnus, take care of her," Jace said with an arm around my waist.

"I will. Do not fret, my golden haired, sarcastic friend."

"Bye, Jace," I said, hugging him. I pulled my shoes on and left with Magnus.

"So uh, shopping, huh?" I asked.

"Worried I see?"

"Not so much worried as much… yeah, worried."

Once we'd gotten down to the lobby I saw a tall, stylishly dressed, black haired Isabelle. She saw me, took off her designer sunglasses, and waved at me excitedly. She skipped gracefully in her six inch heels over to my side, slipping her arm in mine. She seemed dreadfully more tall than usual and I felt immediately intimidated to be the Jack to Izzy and Magnus' giant.

"So, what exactly are we shopping for?" I inquired.

"You'll have to be surprised by that, gorgeous," Magnus responded.

"Am I going to regret coming?"

"Doubtful," Magnus said.

"Most likely," Izzy said, pulling me forward into some little shop.

"Oh, for the love of…" I was towed by Izzy to the no going back point a few feet past the door.

"Magnus, sweetheart!" An average height woman squealed and walked up to hug Magnus. They kissed each other on each cheek. "What brings you here?" She asked.

"That little flower," He replied, pointing at me. Her mud brown eyes slipped over me and she smiled.

"What are you looking for?"

"Look around, Jenny, what do you think we came here for?" Izzy told her.

I also looked around, took in the racks and racks of lingerie and sleepwear. I blushed slightly and wished that I were back at home with Jace, curled up on the couch and watching TV. Izzy had to literally push me after them as they went to the back of the store. "So what are you searching for specifically?"

Magnus rattled off a long string of words that I didn't even want to understand. She seemed to comprehend it because she went back to the corner and pulled off seven different options. "Wow," I breathed, thankful that nobody heard me.

"Perfect, just perfect!" Magnus said with a clap. After that clap I found myself abruptly in a dressing room in front of a mirror and a rack of lingerie.

"Oh, no," I groaned.

"Clary? Clary, you okay in there?" Izzy asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm… not sure."

"Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure."

She came in after it was unlocked and looked at the rack. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

My tone seemed to give me away because her eyes shifted from the rack to me a few times. "Don't you want these? They have to be of use for you, if you know what I mean."

"Um, yeah. I-"

"Are you saying that you two haven't slept together?" She asked. I blushed in response. "How have you avoided him?"

"Well we just haven't… I don't know. I tr- he as- I don't know."

"Do you… want to?" She seemed baffled by the fact that I hadn't slept with Jace.

"Yeah, I mean. I do and he does but I just… we haven't yet." I couldn't believe that we were talking about this. Jace and I hadn't even had a full conversation about this, just the objection of one of us at the last second.

"Well of course you both do, that's obvious. So why haven't you? I was under the impression that Jace was being Jace and you two were in bed all day!"

"No!" I blushed fiercely.

"Well you hide it pretty well. How do you get the will power to resist him?"

"I just… do? I don't really want to risk a pregnancy right now…" This was one of the most awkward conversations I've ever had with anyone.

"Damn, well I'm going to go. Try these on, it'll make Magnus happy. Maybe you'll need them soon." She winked and left the cubical.

I decided that she was right and tried them all on so that Magnus would be happy. In the end, he felt it necessary to buy what seemed like everything in the shop and present it to me handfuls of bags. "To the mall!" Izzy cheered.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"You couldn't have thought that we weren't going to go to _Victoria's Secret_ too."

"Please, please tell me you're joking. Please," I begged.

"Not. Even. A. Little."

After a few hours of mall shopping at, thank the angel, not only _Victoria's Secret_ I stumbled out with full arms of bags. We all walked back to my apartment and dropped everything in the living room. Jace came out and I tried to hide the bags, praying that he wouldn't know what we went shopping for. I wasn't exactly ready for him to see those yet (thus, the reason that all of the old presents from that warlock were in the back of my closet).

"How was shopping?" He asked.

"Absolutely fantastic!" Magnus said. I gave Jace a look that said otherwise.

He laughed, "Alright, I'd like to be alone with my girlfriend now. Shoo," He said as he ushered them out.

"Use what you've got, Clary darling!" Magnus said before the door shut.

"So what exactly did you get?" He asked with one eyebrow raised. A bag fell off of the couch and spilled out onto the floor. I tried to shove it back in before he caught a glimpse but I was too late. "Whoa, planning something, baby?"

"Not happening," I said.

"Oh come on! I won't be this deliciously young and devilishly handsome forever!" He leaned over me on the couch.

"Exactly, you'll get wrinkles if you keep worrying about this," I told him with a smirk, poking his forehead.

"You're… you're lying!" He said with false shock.

I touched his chest gently to try to get him to move but he just held it there, staring into my eyes. "Jace…"

He moved his lips to mine softly, slowly. My hand tangled into his tawny hair and I kissed him back just as gently and lovingly. It wasn't intense or lust filled like it usually was, it was just measured and understanding. The kiss said more than any conversation would have. It didn't feel like I was drowning without him, I felt like we were the same person. Our breathing sped but not enough to make the kiss fast. It stayed slow, it stayed loving, and it stayed beautifully touching. He pulled back slightly and just stared into my eyes for a while. I knew it had to end at some time but I didn't want it to. I knew that in my memory it never would end. We'd stay there for our own little eternity, and that was enough for me.

That could only be in my memory, however. Reality set in and ruined the moment when there was a knock on the door. I expected Magnus or Izzy to be on the other side so I just opened the door. It wasn't Izzy, it wasn't Magnus, it was no other than my mother. Jocelyn was at my door where you could see my living room where the bags lounged on the couch completely ready to be seen by my pregnant, no doubt hormone-ridden mother. "Clary!" Jocelyn cried, hugging me.

"Can you hold on for one second?" I asked in a panic.

"Of course," she said.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I shut the door and sprinted into the living room.

"Whoa, slow down. What's wrong?" Jace asked.

"Jocelyn's here!" I grabbed as many bags as I could carry and Jace took the rest of them into my closet. "Don't look in them!"

"Clare, settle down."

"Do you have any idea what Jocelyn would do if she saw that you were here and these were here? She would kill you, make me clean it up, and then kill me!" I ran back to the door and opened it again. "Hi, Jocelyn!"

"Hi, I have so much to tell you!"

"Come in, come in!" I said. We went and sat down in the kitchen and started chatting about the party they went to and the baby when Jace walked in.

"Oh, Jace! How are you?" She asked and got up to hug him. I was shocked at this because they had never been closer that friendly acquaintances.

"Good, how was Alicante?" He sat down in a chair that he pulled next to mine and put his arm around my waist.

"Amazing, the party was so elegant. Clary, you would have loved it!" They went on like that for a while and I began to be suspicious. They hadn't talked like this ever and now they were best friends? Something was definitely happening.

"Clary, I assume you told him already?"

"I hope that's okay…"

"Of course it's okay. I knew that telling you was like telling him. You're in love, perfectly understandable!" She sang.

"Right… Does Luke know?" I questioned hopefully.

"Yes, I told him yesterday. He's thrilled just like you expected." She sat there and rubbed her lower stomach.

"Do you have room for a nursery? I mean, you live in such a small place," Jace asked.

"Well, we were talking about that and we aren't sure if we want to move or convert another room. We could rent out the house; it's in the back of the book store so we'll have to keep it."

"What room?" I put in.

"Well, the only room that isn't being used is yours…" She trailed off.

"Oh," I said. "Well it is the perfect size and it's right next to your room."

"Are you sure?" She crinkled her little forehead.

"Of course, Mom. You have my blessing. Where is Luke, by the way?"

"Oh, he's at home." She glanced at the clock and said, "Speaking of which, I have to go. We have reservations." She got up and we walked her down the little hallway to the door. She hugged me, hugged Jace, looked at each of us and hugged me again with a smile. Yep, something was definitely going on with those two; something important. She went out with a short goodbye and walked down the corridor. I shut the door and turned to him.

"What's going on?" I asked with that 'Don't you even think about lying to me' look.

He pushed my back against the door, put an arm above my head, leaned in, and matched the look on my face with one of his own. "Nothing," he said.

**Well, chapter four is done now so there you go! I'll see you next update! Thanks for reviewing, lovelies!**

**DFTBA!,**

**KelseyDockry**


	12. As Dead As Latin

**So I got a few questions from some readers that were wondering and I'm completely glad to answer them. So here we go.**

**Answering your questions:**

**Q: Why does Clary call her mother Jocelyn? A: I wanted to have her call her mother that because of all of the things that happened over the actual series. I thought about how I would react if my mother did nothing but lie to me for my entire life. I knew that Clary would still love her but not feel as trusting. Thus the reason that Clary calls her mom Jocelyn.**

**Q: Why is Clary not sleeping with Jace? A: Well, about that… haha. There are two reasons why I chose that for them. One, and the more complex of the two, I thought that I would borrow Clary from Cassandra and I decided that how she flirted and really wanted Jace wasn't what I wanted. Not in the, 'oh I hate her' kind of thing but I didn't want her to be sleeping around with Jace 24/7. I thought that she would want to, get there, and realize that she wasn't ready. I'm a big believer in that teenagers are too young for that. Even if she has her own apartment I didn't want her to be in bed all day and night. I wanted some substance to this and not just lovin', haha. The second one is very simple: I didn't want to write a lemon when I started this story because that's just embarrassing! :)**

**Q: Why does Clary have her own apartment? A: I didn't want Clare to live with her parents because I wanted Jace around more. I mean, what lady doesn't want him around more?**

**Thank you for reviewing! I live off of them, lovelies!**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry**

"Well, something is going on," I said.

"Don't worry about it, babe," He replied with his arm still above me.

"I will," I ducked out from under him. "But before I interrogate my mother and torture you, I promised Max that I'd take him to Lonely Planet."

He caught me by my waist and pulled me back into him. "Do you have to?" He asked before kissing my shoulder. He knew that I fell into him every time his lips brushed my skin from behind. I knew that he knew that so I didn't let it work this time.

"Yes, I do have to." I tried to get his golden arms off of my waist but couldn't quite loosen them. "Jace, let go."

"No thanks." He held on tighter.

"Jace Lightwood, if you don't let go of me I might have to kick your ass."

He leaned his mouth down to my ear and whispered, "I'd like to see you try."

"Don't doubt me, sweetie." I caught him off guard and tore out of his arms. "Would you like to come book shopping with Max and me?"

"I don't know if Max would like that much. He likes to have you alone as much as the rest of my family does."

"I doubt that's the case, come with me."

"What do I get in return?" He asked. I walked the foot between us and pressed my lips to his.

"That," I said, blushing.

"Deal."

We put our shoes on and I locked the door. The walk to the Institute was short and familiar. We got into the elevator and arrived on the floor that Max slept on. We started on our way to his room when Maryse came around the corner. "Oh hello, you two," she said, shocked.

"Good morning, Maryse," I said to her.

"Hello, mother," Jace said. It was obvious to me that he was trying not to lose his temper. I wonder if she could see it too.

"Hello, Jace. Clary, could I speak to him alone, please?"

"Um, of course. I'll just go grab Max…" I turned on my heel and walked down the hall to Izzy's room.

"Alec, if that's you! _I'm going to kill you!_" Izzy screamed when I closed her door.

"Iz, it's me," I said.

"Oh, hi." She came out of the closet and jumped over piles of jump. "What's up?"

"I came here to get Max but Maryse stole Jace so…"

"She did?" Izzy seemed to worry because she almost tripped over a pile of clothes.

"Yeah."

"What did she want?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"Oh… no reason."

"Okay then."

"Why don't you go save him then?" She proposed.

"Save him from what?"

"Well you calm him and he's just going to get angry at her if they're alone."

"Okay," I said and walked out of the door. "What is going on with everyone today?" I wondered out loud.

I walked down the hall in an attempt to find him when I heard Maryse's angry voice. I don't understand why she hates me so much lately. I haven't done anything to her son or any of her kids for that matter.

"Jace, you don't understand. You are way too young to be so serious with a girl, especially her."

"What the hell do you mean 'especially her'? What has she done to you to make you so bitter?" He hissed back.

"She's seventeen years old and has never been trained! You really want her to be the one you spend your life with? How is she going to help you as a Shadowhunter?"

"Damn it, Maryse. She's stronger than you were at seventeen. And I didn't say anything about marrying her!"

"I'm not an idiot; I've seen the way you look at her when she hasn't noticed. You get that enchanted look on your face when you're thinking about her. I'm your mother, I see these things."

I felt bad for listening in on them so I walked back down the hallway. The fact that this was my fault ate at me but I knew that they would work it out. Maryse had never hated me before so I'd have to address that later. Those thoughts tugged at me on my way to Max. I found him with Alec in the training room. I assumed they'd finished and showered already because Max's shaggy hair was damp and flipping out of place. "Hey, Clary!" He said.

"Hi, Max. Alec, are you two done here?"

"Yeah, just finished. Go ahead and steal him."

"Will do! I'll see you later then."

"Are we going to Lonely Planet?" Asked Max while we were walking down to grab Jace.

"Yep, can you go and get Jace for me?" I requested.

"Okay!" He ran off down the hall to get him and I went to the kitchen because I saw Izzy go down that way.

The kitchen contained Izzy, Aline, and the start of what I was sure would be the worst food served in the world today. "Iz, why don't you take today off with cooking?" I asked.

"Well if I don't cook nobody will!"

"Well I think that they can survive on their own sandwiches."

"But-" She began to argue.

"Izzy, your cooking sucks and she's trying to make you feel better. Back away from the stove and nobody gets hurt," said Jace, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest. Max had the same look on his face and folded his arms in the same way. I wonder if he notices exactly how much he looks up to my boyfriend.

"Well fine, hot-shot. I'd like to see you try and cook for all of these people!"

"Jace isn't actually a bad cook," I put in.

"Shut up, Clary!"

"Clare, let's go," said Jace before sticking his tongue out at his sister.

"Yeah, leave!" Izzy said, throwing a ladle at him. He dodged it perfectly and I caught it before it smashed into the wall.

I pulled Jace out of the room by the arm before Izzy could chuck the fridge at him. "You need to learn how to behave yourself."

"Oh, I know how to behave. I _really_ know how to behave with you," He said, pulling me back into him and kissing my neck.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwwwwwwww!" Max sang when he turned to see us.

I pushed back at Jace who pleaded, "He won't be scarred for life if I take you back to my room for a minute will he?" into my ear.

"I might be," I whispered after he let go.

"Baby, nothing could be scarred by this," he pointed to himself. "Especially you, you'll never be scarred by this sexiness."

"I think you're underestimating yourself."

"The only thing that may scar you is the jealousy."

"I doubt that I'll ever be jealous of your manly abs, Jace."

"Well, what if the jealousy of other women scars you?"

"I think I'll be fine as long as I get to touch your biceps."

"Will you two please stop? I think I'm going to puke," Max said.

I blushed while Jace retorted, "Maxwell, I don't think that you understand where babies come from yet. It's a beautiful process, really. But I'm worried that it might take you longer to understand than other kids."

"Jace!" I scolded.

"What? He ought to know where they come from. Max, when two people love each other very much, they put aside their differences and…"

"Why'd you stop?" Asked Max.

"That's where _Full House_ left off."

"Alright, we're here. Can we stop embarrassing ourselves?" I requested.

"If you insist. Go ahead, Maxy. Go wild."

Jace and I stayed back for a moment while Max found his nerdy friends and they geeked out over some new edition of _Vampire Knight_. I scanned the racks of books as Jace wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. I stopped reading the names and listened to his breathing. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I just want to be with you. And don't get me anything big; in fact, you don't have to get me anything at all."

"That won't work; it's too late for that request. And you need to give me more than just being with me. Unless you mean… _being_ with me."

"I'm not sure about that one. Can't we just hang out together? It's no big deal."

"Eighteen is a big deal, Clary. You're an adult now."

"Well you're eighteen and nothing is different with how you act."

"Yes but you're you and I'm me. I'm like a little boy; you could be taking away my toys."

"I'm already grounding you from a few things, wouldn't you say?"

"All in due time, love."

"Clary?" Max asked from behind us.

I turned to see five young boys and his arms carrying three books. "Hey, guys."

The other boys looked too scared to talk. They stared at me like they'd never seen a girl before. "Hey, they wanted to know if you know how to read manga."

"Yeah, where do you think he learned how to read?" I pointed at myself.

"Exactly," Max added proudly. "I'm ready to go then."

"Okay, let's go and check you out."

We went to the counter and I pulled out my wallet to pay. The person behind the counter was a girl I knew from when I went to school with Simon. Her name is Alexis; she was blonde, short, and curvy. "Welcome to Lonely Planet, how can I make your orbit less- Clary?"

"Hi, Alex. How are you?" I responded.

"Great," she stared at Jace. "Man, I haven't seen you in almost a year! Wait, who are they?"

"This is Max," I said, putting my arms on his shoulders. "And this is Jace." He smiled at her.

"And they are…?" She questioned, still staring at Jace.

"Jace is my boyfriend." Her face fell slightly. "And Max is his little brother."

"I'm not little!" Protested Max.

Jace pulled Max into a headlock and said, "You sure about that, hot stuff?"

"Okay, Jace. Now isn't the time. Settle down, boys," I chastised.

Jace let him go and Max put his books on the counter before punching Jace in the stomach. Alex rang us up while we chatted about the last nine months of not seeing each other. "Well we need to see each other more often! You, Simon, Jace, and I should hang out some time!" She said before we left.

"Totally going to happen!" I said as we went out.

"I'm not little…" Max said.

"Yes you are, Max," Jace said.

"I could beat you _down_!" He retorted.

"Is that a threat, kid?"

"More like a challenge!"

I smiled at my little family and laughed with them. Jace picked Max up and threw him, books and all, over his shoulder. He carried Max like that despite the protests of both Max and me. People on 7th Avenue stared at us like we were crazy but we just laughed. Max wasn't put down until we got out of the elevator on his floor. We set him down and he ran into his room with only a "_Bye, Clary,_" shouted as a farewell.

"Back to the lady's place?" Jace asked, pressing the button to get back down to the street.

"Yes, please," I requested.

"Your turn," he said.

"Wha-" I started but was swept off of my feet and swung into his arms, bridal style. "Jace!"

"It's called chivalry."

"I thought that was dead!" I laughed.

"As dead as Latin."

"Latin is a dead language!" I argued.

"_Non est enim mortua Latin omnino diligaris_."

I stared at him for a while, "Show off."

He laughed and continued to carry me in his strong arms. We got near my building when I pushed his chest. "Down," I requested.

"Are you sure that you don't want my chivalry?"

"Not now, the doorman might think I've broken myself."

He set me down at the door and the doorman pulled it open for us. "Good evening, Clary," he smiled at me.

"Hi, Maurice," I replied, smiling.

The second we got behind the door to the stairs, Jace flipped me back up in his arms. "Put me down, Lightwood! I told you not to do that!"

"I like this, actually."

We got to my apartment and a letter was propped up on the door. "What's that?" He asked as he set me down.

"Not sure," I responded, confused. We went in and I tore it open.

_To Clarissa and Jace,_

_You've been formally invited to a party at the high warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane's abode. We will be expecting you in two days dressed formally._

_Sincerely,_

_Magnus Bane_

"Hmm, figures," I said.

"Tired. Bed!" Jace groaned. Her scurried off to my room and changed into his pajama pants. I decided to tease him tonight so I went into the closet and changed into something different than just his t-shirt. I pulled on one of the lacy slips that Magnus had insisted I buy and tried not to catch myself in the mirror.

"Hey, Clare, can you… whoa," He said when I walked out. I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks and I kept my eyes off of Jace's. Climbing into bed and turning the light off, I laid down on my side and tried not to be embarrassed by the staring that I could feel. Although, the momentary ego boost from Jace's eyes practically rolling out of head was nice. "Clary," he called.

"Yes?"

"Look at me."

I turned.

He pulled me against his chest and whispered, "Happy birthday." I glanced at the clock, _12:00_, it read.

"I love you," I breathed back at him.

**Well, that's all for now. Going on vacation so I might not upload much this week. I feel horrible about that but I can't help it. Thank you for the reviews and the read. Also, thanks for being so amazing, lovelies. Good bye, darlings.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry**


	13. Taking Your Breath Away

**Please forgive me for my typos, again. I don't know if there are any in here but just in case. I look forward to your guesses, questions, and critiques in the reviews! It gets a little steamy in this one, hide the eyes of your kiddies, okay? Haha, love you, readers!**

** Disclaimer: I own the Mortal Instruments… Wait, what?... I don't?... That faerie lied to me…**

** Alright, guys! Please enjoy this. Thank you, lovelies. See you next time!**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**

I stared at him for a while; it was about one o'clock in the morning. He stared back at me with those golden eyes. I tried to count the colors and hues in them through the very dim light. _One, two, three,_ he blinked, _four, five_-

"What are you counting?" He asked, drawing a hand up to my cheek and moving me closer to him.

"Nothing," I replied, blushing.

"You were mouthing numbers. I can do that too! Wanna see how fast I can take those pajamas off of you?" _One,_ he mouthed, moving his other hand down to my thigh and inched the slip up slightly.

"You know, I like these pj's so much that I don't think that I can bear to take them off. Just look! So cute!"

"If that's permission to check you out, challenge accepted," he said, his eyes trailing up and down my body. His gaze could have been his fingertips; I felt it all the same. After a moment too long on my chest, his eyes moved back to mine. I pulled the comforter up to our shoulders and scooted closer. I could feel that this was going to be a very nice birthday. His blinking got slower and droopier; I could see him fighting off unconsciousness.

"Baby, go to sleep. It's fine, Jace," I whispered.

He shut his eyes and pulled me hard against his body. I could feel his lips slightly putting pressure on mine. It wasn't a kiss, necessarily; it was more like pressing your fingertips to another person's fingertips. It wasn't in the least bit sexual, just comfortable. I closed my eyes and my lashes brushed above his cheek bones. My hands moved to his arms, pulling them to grasp me tighter, and settled on his stomach for the night. It was hard not to stay awake just to stare at his sleeping figure but it had to be done. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, the breathing coming from him was extremely soothing. My thoughts started to sound like words and my eyes got heavier. I heard him sigh beside me and lost consciousness.

_"Good morning!" Jace's deep voice sang._

_ I groaned._

_ "Come on, Clarissa, wake up. It's time to grow up and open those beautiful green eyes."_

_ "You're lucky that I'm too tired to kill you, Jace Lightwood."_

_ "Up," he said, pulling on my arm._

_ "I'm going to need some incentive to move," I hinted._

_ "Nicholas, that's your cue," Jace called in his soft voice. I heard a pitter-patter on the wooden floor of our bedroom. I peeked through my lashes to see Jace bend down. His figure started to turn back to me and I shut my eyes tight. I felt slight weight press against me._

_ "Common, Mommy!" A small voice requested._

_ I peeked through my lashes again, slightly. I saw little gold locks on a tiny boy and grabbed him suddenly, pulling him into a hug. He squealed and giggled as I lifted him above me. Jace and I laughed as Nicholas threw his head back with intense giggling. His small, thick, blond curls flew around as he squirmed and his gold eyes sparkled with laughter. "Down, Mommy!"_

_ I set him down on the bed and he rolled over to face me, still laughing. He put his small hands on my ballooning stomach and drew circles on my shirt with tiny, tan fingers. "Are you excited to be a big brother, Nicki?" Jace asked, sitting on our bed by us._

_ "Yeah! I want him now!"_

_ "It might be a girl, Nicki," I reminded him. I hadn't gone to find out the sex of the baby because I wanted a surprise. Jace had agreed with me on that for Nicki but he originally wanted to know this time. The way that I saw it was that waiting to find out afterwards makes it bearable in these last few weeks._

_ "Nick, why don't you go and play down stairs?" Jace proposed._

_ "Okay, Daddy!" Jace lifted him off of the bed and set him on the floor. He ran through the room and turned out the door._

_ "How did we survive without him for all of those years?" I wondered out loud. Jace smiled and helped me up. "Remember two years ago when you had to help me up while I was pregnant with Nicki?"_

_ "I do," he said, one of my favorite things he'd ever said to me._

_ "It still bothers me," I said with a laugh. "I used to be able to beat your ass and now I can barely walk without having to stop to get my breath back."_

_ "I love taking your breath away; I believe that is how you ended up like this," he said, gesturing to my huge belly._

_ "Jace!"_

_ "Yes, that sentence does take me back," he reminisced. "Not too long before those days come around again."_

_ "Ha, it'll be a bit longer than you think; I plan to be able to kick your ass and still look good before ending up back here for the third time."_

_ "We'll see." He bent down to press his lips to mine. I smiled and touched his face gently, feeling our breaths mingle._

_ "Mommy!" Nicki called from down the stairs._

_ Jace's lips let go of mine and I said, "_That_ would be my cue."_

I woke with a gasp. Where had that dream come from? It wasn't a bad dream at all but wow.

"Good morning," Jace sighed.

"Hello," I said.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"I definitely did."

"You mumbled while you were sleeping," he said, smiling.

"…What did I say?"

"My name, quite a few times, actually."

"Yeah, don't let it get to your already enlarged head."

"Too late," he said, coming in for a kiss. I bent my head down so that he couldn't. He looked at me confused.

"I haven't brushed my teeth yet," I explained. I could tell from his breath that he already had.

"I don't care." He put a hand on my face and moved it closer to his.

"No! Jace," I squeaked.

"Shh," he laughed. His lips pressed against mine softly. His tongue brushed my lips and I shook my head slightly. I escaped his grasp at that point and sprinted into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror at my messed up hair and fierce blush. Glancing at the clock I thought, _six-thirty blush? That has to be my new record._

I brushed my teeth and went back into the bedroom. "Are you okay now?" Jace teased.

I ran to the bed and grabbed him in a kiss to answer him. He laughed against me and kissed back fiercely. This time, when his tongue touched my lips, I opened my mouth and pressed him harder into the bed. Unfortunately, he was stronger than I was so he was able to roll over on top of me. His hands traveled my torso and left little lines of hot electricity on my nerves. They pulled my arms up from his chest to circle his neck. His left hand then moved slowly down my forearm, sliding over my elbow, down my upper arm, over my shoulder, past my collar bone, down the side of my breast, over my rib cage, down my stomach, over my hips, and pressed its way down my thigh. It stopped at my knee before curling to the back of it and moving his fingers on the soft skin there. I shivered at his warm hands which seemed to please him. His hand stopped moving for a moment before he shot my leg around his hip. Air whooshed out of my lungs in surprise. His tongue continued to play with mine and his hand moved back to my hips and pushed me harder against the bed. His right hand curled behind my neck and pulled it up so that my lips parted from his while still giving him enough room to move his lips down my neck. My breathing was extremely heavy and labored while my eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to control myself. His lips got to the dip in my collar bone when a moan escaped my throat and slid between my lips as I bit the lower one. He pulled back and looked at me in surprise. I blushed deeper and he said, "I don't think you've ever done that before."

"Hush," I said, bringing his lips back to mine. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and moved my arms further down his back, pressing my fingers into the skin on his shoulder blades. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do more than bruise my lips kissing him before that little voice in my head would make me stop but I figured I'd push myself as far as I could before I had to stop myself. Or before I had to stop him, I wasn't sure. It was intense, his kiss, our kiss. I needed it and it was obvious that he did too. If he knew how much he pulled my strings I think he'd be shocked. He controlled my every thought and I couldn't get enough of it. If he could read my mind…. Maybe I could do more than this.

"Condom, Jace. Do you have-" I began.

He cursed under his breath.

"Jace, please tell me you have something," I begged.

"In my wallet," he said.

I glanced at the bedside table, nothing. "Go, please, go get it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's on the dresser."

"Go!"

"It's on the dresser in my room at the Institute."

"You're kidding me!" I pleaded.

"You don't know how much I wish I were."

"Well there's nothing _here_!" I said.

He cursed again.

"Jace, are you sure that you don't have anything? Are you sure you left your wallet at the Institute? You didn't leave it on the counter in the kitchen or on the table in the entry way? Please, please, please tell me that you have it here."

"I'm sure," he whispered regretfully.

"Why would you leave it in your wallet and not in your pocket?" I asked, disappointed.

"Because I thought I could get along one night without it! Figures the one time we need a condom is the one time that I'm too stupid to bring one."

"Jace," I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

"Clary, I'm so sorry," he said, dropping his head to my chest in total regret.

"Whatever, guess we just won't tonight. This forgetting of the condom is kind of a mood killer."

"I will run at top speed to _Walgreen's_. It'll take two minutes," he said, starting to get up.

"Don't bother, it'll be a waste of time; let's just chill here. It was a bad idea anyways," I replied.

"No," he said, dropping to his knees by the bed. "Not a waste of time. It's fun, promise. Please forgive me, oh beautiful one."

"I forgive you, Jace. It's not like I'm putting you to death-"

"Pretty close," he mumbled.

"We've never done it before anyway," I ignored his last comment. "It'll be just like how we are now."

"Clare, I need you. Please, can I just run to the store and come back?" He begged.

"Jace, I'm sorry. I can't," I told him, completely honest.

He sighed. "Okay, I know you can't."

"I'm sorry," I said, getting down next to him. "We will someday. I promise, soon even."

"Deal," he said, moving his hand to my arm. "I love you."

"I love you too, Jace. So much," I told him.

"Well, are we going to get you a good birthday or just sit here?" He asked, pulling me with him to stand.

"Sit here!" I knew that he was planning something and Izzy had to be involved.

"Wrong answer!" He said with plenty of enthusiasm.

"Fine, but I'm going to get dressed, first."

"I think that I can help you with that one," he suggested.

"I'm not sure about that, hot shot."

"Are you serious? Because I'm fairly sure that I can."

"Why don't you get yourself dressed and then we'll talk."

"I'd rather undress with you."

"I'm not surprised to hear that."

I walked into the closet and stood in front of the mirror. My curls were a ruffled mess, my face was blushed redder than a cardinal, my slip was turned to the side and barely keeping me covered. I looked completely mental, how did Jace not break out laughing before? "Knock, knock," Jace said, coming in.

"You didn't tell me what to wear."

"Casual."

"My casual or Izzy's casual?" I asked, suspicious.

"Izzy's casual," he said with a sympathetic look on his face.

"You wear a nice shirt, tie, and dark pants. I'll wear light jeans, a fancy tank top, and heels. That should make her happy, right?" I supposed.

"I like the way you think, but I wouldn't complain if you wore that dress that you wore to Pandemonium this week."

"I'm sure you wouldn't." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Wait, what do you want me to wear?" Jace said, looking at two black dress shirts that were almost identical. I laughed and walked over to help him.

"This," I said, grabbing a light colored button-up shirt and a tie to match. "And these," I took out a pair of nice jeans for him to wear.

"What would I do without you?" He inquired.

"Starve, complain, and dress badly." I smiled. He placed a quick peck on my lips before leaving the closet. I pulled out a pair of light colored jeans, an embellished light blue tank top, and black heels with bows on the ends. I slid on a fancier set of underwear than usual, just in case. I got dressed, did my hair up in a ponytail, and put on a small amount of eye makeup.

I came out to hear Jace whispering something in the bathroom. "Jace?" I called. I went into the bathroom and saw him gripping the sink, dressed in the clothes I gave him and staring himself in the mirror. When he saw me he changed his expression and put a wall up over what he was doing. I crashed it down. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, nothing at all." I gave him a look. "Just nervous about something."

"About what?" I worried.

"You'll find out soon enough." He pointed to the door. "Go."

"Okay then," I said. He led me to the door of my apartment, down the steps, and out of the door.

**Alright, that'll probably be my last upload for about a week. I hate to leave you guys hanging but I have no connection out at sea. There is, on the ship, a room called **_**The Writing Room**_**. When I found that out I geeked out for so long. Can't wait for it! I promise to write over vacation and upload when I get home! Love you guys so much! I look forward to your guess about the parties here and what Jace is going to do. Leave me your guess in the reviews! Thank you, darlings!**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**


	14. As Much As You Want

**Hello, Lovelies. This chapter took three days so I'm really proud of how short that was. It sounds like a long time but if you write you'll understand. It's ten pages in word doc and the longest chapter I've written so far, 5,137 words. I've proof read this four times and I think that I'm finally okay with it. There were so many times that I've tried to make conversations work and the characters just do not want to talk to each other. It kind of sucks. The big part of this chapter was rewritten and rewritten so many times and I'm still not sure if I like it. I forgot to tell you guys that the last chapter was all written on my birthday. Writing Clary's birthday on my birthday was awesome even though I'm March 26****th**** and she's a summer baby. I was in an old hotel that was built in the 1800s and there's a little place in between where the buildings met up that has the tiny pool and a sitting area. There are a lot of trees and plants just chilling with the tables and the chairs, it's really beautiful. That is where that scene in the last story blossomed from, you know, the… almost sex scene with Jace and Clary. Kiss on repeat and the heat of New Orleans after the freezing cold of where I come from makes things happen. Anyway, here is your chapter, see you in the reviews. Thank you, Lovelies.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry**

"Do you remember my birthday two years ago?" I asked, leaning into him as we walked.

"I couldn't forget if tried, and believe me I have. It was the first time that I got to touch you in a way that I wanted to, the first time that I opened up myself to someone else, the first time that I got to feel your lips on mine, and the first time that I fell in love. Last time that I'll fall in love."

I was speechless, never had I thought he would think that, let alone admit it out loud. This was the Jace that kept me. His good looks, bravery, and sense of humor drew me in at first but the way he was with Max, the way he talked to me while we were alone, the way that he loved me and made me love him is what kept me here. Of course, his family was a part of it but he was the deal that I wanted to have for the rest of my life.

"Impressed, I see. Not surprising, I happen to be full of those kinds of things. It's a talent really," he said.

"Don't ruin it."

"Well, it's true that I can't forget that night. And it must've been one of your favorite things that I've ever told you, wasn't it?" He asked.

"Right up there with 'I love you'."

"That's one of my favorite things you've ever told _me_. Another came from this morning."

"Oh?" I blushed.

"'_Hush._' Can you guess what my favorite sound that I've caused you to make is? I'll give you a hint; it also came from this morning."

"Jace!" I blushed deeper.

"Oh, if I were more prepared today you'd have screamed that plenty of times. But it's not the sound that I was talking about, try again."

I slapped his arm and blushed even deeper. I tried not to think about Jace to get my skin back to normal. I was sure that we were at the Institute before it had gone to light pink. Jace and I were welcomed by a very excited Izzy dressed in a short dress, tall heels, and insanely well done hair.

"Happy birthday!" She sang, scooping me into a hug. Jace still held my right hand and my left awkwardly patted Isabelle.

"Thank, Iz." She let me go and rode the elevator up with us. She bit her lip on the way up, deep in thought about something. She ran out when the elevator opened.

"And that was about…?" I asked Jace.

"I'm willing to bet that it was about Simon, she's always thinking about that bloodsucker." He pulled me forward by the hand. "You've forgotten to guess that noise, I see."

"I don't think I need to guess."

"Oh, my shy little Clary. Ha, I say shy. You're not shy; you were there this morning and definitely not shy, trying to take advantage of me."

"I was, was I?" I eyed him over.

"If you two would stop flirting for one second," Magnus complained. "The world would be a much better place."

"Magnus," Alec chastised.

"Well, Aly-kinz, look at them! You'd think they'd have the decency to save it for the bedroom… or wherever they do it, the kitchen maybe. They seem to be that type."

Alec and I blushed while Jace threw out his most sly smirk. "We seem to be that type, do we?" He asked. "Not shocking, we're a gorgeous couple. I take your jealousy as a compliment."

I pinched his hand in punishment. "Clary, you know it's true."

"Okay, shut up, both of you!" Izzy said. Simon came around the corner and smiled at me, taking me in for a familiar feeling hug. I hugged back, closing my eyes. Under the smell of the cologne that Izzy insisted he wear, I could smell the recognizable scent that I'd grown up around. He smelt of his house, his room, the garage where we practiced for our band, and I could smell the faint smell of blood on him. That brought me back to reality.

"Happy birthday, Fray," he whispered into my ear.

"Thanks, Lewis," I whispered back. We let go and I looked into his big brown eyes. I laughed and pushed the dangling hair out of his eyes. "Simon," I smiled.

"Happy birthday, Clary!" Max said, running over to hug me.

"Thanks, Max." He let go and went over to stand next to Jace. Jace stared at me with his 'I'm in love and don't care who sees it' expression that made my knees weaken a bit.

"Well, Clarissa darling, how is your birthday so far?" Magnus asked.

"So far," I glanced at Jace. "Incredible."

Magnus' hands clapped, sending little blue sparks off of his fingertips. "Perfect, perfect. That means that everything is in order. Now, what shall we do first?"

"First?" I said, concerned.

"Yes, first. Shall we give you presents, or go out and party, or eat." I gave him a worried look. "Don't worry, love, we plan to go out. We kept this one out of the kitchen," he said, pointing to Izzy.

"I don't understand why you all hate my cooking so much; it's not bad at all."

"Lying is a wrong; didn't Maryse teach you anything as a child?" Jace put in.  
"Shut _up_, Jace! Do you always have to be so sarcastic and annoying?"

"No, I can be very nice, serious, and we all know that I am dreadfully hilarious and witty."

"Screw you, Jace!" Izzy shrieked.

"That would be Clary's job. Thanks for the offer but I believe that she'd be _much_ better at it."

"Jace, stop," I said, blushing. Wow, I'd done a lot of blushing today.

"Quiet down, Clary. This is entertaining to us all and you're ruining our enjoyment," Magnus informed me.

"Simon eats my cooking all of the time!" Izzy didn't seem to hear either Magnus or me.

"Bloodsucker over there is a vampire. He drinks cow blood every day; you really think he is a good judge on what is edible and what isn't?"

"Max has eaten my food many times," Izzy pointed out. Max folded his arms the same way that Jace did and stared straight at her.

"Max is afraid of you, he doesn't count," Jace dismissed.

"I'm not afraid of her," Max protested.

"None of us think you're a good cook but you, Isabelle Lightwood."

"You're such a jackass, Jace!" Izzy complained.

"Are you through yet?" I asked.

"I am done talking to this shameful 'cook'," He said, accenting the word cook with air quotes.

She took a step toward Jace, putting a hand on her whip. Jace pulled me in front of him as a joke shield. He had a mock expression of horror on his angelic face. "Can we settle down now?" I requested.

"I second that," Alec agreed.

"Whatever," Izzy said, moving back to Simon. Jace stopped pretending to cower and wrapped his arms all the way around my waist, placing his chin on my head and pulling me against him. Magnus took Alec's hand and Max was the only one left unpaired, he stayed near Jace and me.

"Well if that is all," Magnus said. "I propose that we go to eat now."

We all went to Taki's, Izzy still a bit upset, Simon trying to comfort her and talk to us, Magnus making comments at just the right- or wrong- times, Alec staying mostly silent, Max chiming in to feel like he was not a little kid, Jace whispering in my ear and talking to the group, and I was whispering back to Jace while still managing to be the center of attention for birthday reasons. When we arrived we piled into a table, pulling chairs up and trying to fit most of us in a booth. Jace kept his left arm around my waist and I discreetly played footsie with him under the table. We held our own discussion and one with the group. Kaelie, the fey waitress, came to see take our order.

"Good morning, everyone," she said cheerily. "Can I get you anything to drink?" Her gaze was all friendly until it passed over me, it then became jealous. Then, as it passed over Jace, it developed to lustful. He didn't seem to notice, his attention appeared to be on my upper thigh as he stroked the skin there. I crossed my legs so that it was closer to him; he continued to brush the skin and smile. We all ordered a drink and Kaelie left. The conversation stayed light and meaningless while the discussion between Jace and me stayed flirty and sexy. I don't know why but I felt much bolder with him today, maybe it was the birthday buzz. Jace's hand felt warmer and warmer on my leg and his breath on my neck made me grow to be more and more aware of him.

"I love you, Jace Lightwood," I whispered into his ear.

"I love you more, Clarissa Fray. So much more than I should," he whispered back.

"Love me as much as you want, Jace. You know I will always feel the same."

"Always?" He asked.

"Always, I promise." I played with his hand under the table, moving his fingers and turning it over to brush his palm.

He looked down at my hands playing with his and, pulling me closer, I never wanted to forget this moment.

"Jace, you don't know how much you control my every move," I breathed.

"You don't know how much I love you," he replied.

"Kiss me," I requested.

"Your wish is my command," he said, turning my face to his with the back of his gentle hand. His lips moved with mine softly, lovingly. Neither of us sped the kiss and it was comfortable and sweet. I didn't want to pull away. I could taste the sweet taste of his mouth perfectly, unclouded by any type of drink or food. There was a slight salty taste to his mouth, not too salty and not too sweet. I only needed to taste that for the rest of my life, only him. His mouth teased my lower lip in his with small nips and pecks. My closed eyelids fluttered at the tickle of the pressure he put on my mouth. I leaned in closer to him as his arm tightened tenderly around my waist, taking on my weight easily. After a few moments to ourselves I moved back and put my head on his shoulder.

"She left to go back home, good riddance if you ask me," Izzy said.

"Who left?" Kaelie, whom I hadn't heard arrive in my moment with Jace, asked.

"Aline Penhallows, she's that girl who has been tagging along with us lately," Alec explained.

"Oh, her, she wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms was she?" Kaelie guessed.

"No, not exactly," Alec confirmed.

"She's a bitch, no questions about it. Trying to steal Jace away from Clary with her family's assistance," Izzy shook her head. "Bitch," She repeated.

Kaelie then looked down with a slightly guilty expression, her all blue eyes momentarily flickering to Jace and me. She recovered in a matter of milliseconds with, "Well are we all ready to order?" We ordered and she left to go give it to the animal eared chef.

We talked for a while; Jace and I were still together in our own little world. His hand didn't stop sweeping my thigh and I kept his right hand in both of mine. My crossed leg had somehow ended up crossed in between Jace's. We stayed like that for quite a while, not willing to move. We only shifted when everyone had finished eating. I was sure that the way Jace and I were together made the others, Izzy especially, want to puke but I loved it, loved his hands on me, his eyes on me, and his breath. My head had still not wrapped around why he chose me out of all of these other girls who stared at him, wanted him. He could have any of them and most of them were much more beautiful than I am. They had skinny figures, long and shiny hair that wasn't my fire engine red, tan skin, a larger chest, tall bodies, they were much better looking than I was. The looks that they gave me made me feel like they knew that fact very well without me having to inform them. I'm sure that my looks to them told them that I knew, too. And yet, Jace stayed, hands entwined with mine and eyes on me. It was flabbergasting, really, the looks he gave me. Maybe he wanted me because I looked different or behaved different, I didn't let him know how much I wanted him until he made the first move. But I was sure that he could tell that I wanted, needed, him before he'd made the first move in the greenhouse. He told me that before that night he had never kissed a girl without knowing that she wanted it too, usually more than he did. And for the longest time, I was dead sure that I wanted him much more than he wanted me. But after days like today, I'm not sure if he wants me more than I want him. I like to imagine that it's equal because, boy, do I want him a lot. But his begging this morning told me that he was right up there with me. I wondered about that dream I had last night. I wondered what our children would look and act like. The little boy in my dream was such a sweetheart that I could only hope that that is what they'll be like. His features were all Jace; my freckled, ginger, pale genes had not touched his perfect self. It was all Jace.

"What are you thinking about?" Jace asked, curiosity in his quiet voice.

"A dream I had last night," I replied.

"What was it about?"

"You, us, our future."

"Can we talk about that?" He requested.

"Specifically?"

"You'll see," he assured me.

We arrived at the Institute at that moment and went up. We all parted ways then, Izzy and Simon going to the kitchen, Alec and Magnus going to the library, Max going to one of the few rooms with a television, and Jace pulling me by hand to his room. We got to his bare white bedroom and moved to his bed. I sat comfortably on the edge, folding my legs, while Jace sat in front of me and stared.

"What are you looking at?" I asked.

"The most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he replied.

"When did the Coliseum get into your room?"

He laughed quietly, "You're so much more beautiful than the Coliseum, or any other ancient architectural ruins in the world. In fact, I'd venture to say that you're more beautiful than anything that has ever existed, anything or anyone."

"Jace," I whispered. Getting onto my knees and leaning over to kiss him. He caught my gentle bend and held me affectionately, still sitting. His tongue pressed my mouth open and slid in. He slowly moved us so that I was below him and he was balanced on his elbows over my body. I put my arms around his neck and pulled myself up closer to him. He responded by lying further downward, I could feel none of his weight but the hot press of his body on mine. My hands felt his satiny blond hair slip through my fingers. I adored the feel of his curls in my hands and his lips on mine. His tongue caressed and explored my mouth as it always did, he was skilled but I'd never admit that to him. He knew it though; it was strange how sometimes the one you love most in the world could hear your thoughts. His left hand slid up to hold the back of my neck and his right arm slipped around my waist. My back arched faintly off of the bed, pushing my torso into him. He lifted me and drew me up higher to the pillows.

I wouldn't forget this day, he wouldn't forget this day and I wanted to make that count. I used most of my strength to push his shoulders and flip us so that I was on top of him. My legs moved to straddle him and he seemed particularly surprised by my taking control. I was usually the type to allow him the domination that he wanted but today's dealings showed him that those days were over. I wanted to be in charge sometimes, he'd have to get used to that. I pushed myself to hover over him by straightening my elbows. I looked down at those burning gold eyes that held a small hint of amusement at all times. He looked back and I became more aware of his hands, one on my lower back, the other reaching up to push a lock of my curls off of my face. He beamed at me, his full lips pulling back in the smile that first drew me in. I bit my lip and let him flip us back over so that he was above me.

"You're going to drive me crazy someday, Clarissa," he whispered huskily.

I shivered at his voice. "Someday?" I asked. "I'm obviously not doing my job properly."

"So you _are_ trying to make me insane?" He whispered before nipping me ear softly. "It's working," he breathed.

I slid my hands to his shirt and unbuttoned it half way down.

"You need to learn that I can't handle you without pushing my limits."

"Then push," I commanded quietly.

His hand glided down my leg and I moved it to wrap around his waist. He leaned in to kiss me again. I undid his tie and threw it to the corner of the room. His shirt was half unbuttoned so my shaking fingers had little trouble finishing that off. I pulled it down his arms and threw that to the corner too. He sat up, lifted his undershirt over his head and leaned back down, kissing my lips. Pushing my shirt up my sides, he lifted it over my head and flung it to the other side of the room. Jace looked down at me for a moment, smiling, before bringing me back to him for another kiss. I trialed a finger past his collar bone, over his chest, and down his stomach. I saw goose bumps rise on his arms and felt him shiver. I put a hand on his belt and began to undo that while he peppered kisses on my face when the door busted open and hit the wall loudly.

"Oh, _angel!_" Izzy cried, covering her eyes with freshly manicured hands.

"_Isabelle!_" Jace yelled at her. "_Get out!_"

"My _eyes!_" Isabelle whined.

"_Do you know how to knock?" _Jace yelled.

_ "_Of course I do, I just didn't expect to see _this_ of all things."

"_Just get out!"_ Jace shrieked.

"We want Clary downstairs, it's present time but I see that you were about to give her a gift anyway. Put your clothes back on and get your asses downstairs." Izzy left, slamming the door behind her.

Jace mumbled something, getting off of me to grab his clothes. I was petrified, completely shocked and unable to move. He put his shirt back on and tied his tie before looking back at me; he seemed embarrassed, not as much as I was but still embarrassed. He glanced at my unmoving form and came back over to the bed.

Leaning over me, he kissed my lips and said, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

"Are you at all fazed by her walking in on us?" I asked, shock still in my voice.

"A little, but it doesn't matter. She's an adult, she can handle herself."

"Jace, what if she tells Simon?"

"I'm sure he assumes that this happens all the time, don't worry. He thought that we were 'shacking up' when he first met me. He's also an adult, he understands."

"Why didn't you lock the door?"

"I didn't expect you to try and do _that_ of all things."

"_Me_ try and do that? You don't think that _you_ started it?"

"I am an innocent young boy and you are trying to corrupt me with your sexy ways, no I do not believe that I stated that."

I got up to search for my heels that'd been kicked off somewhere since we got here and put my shirt back on. Once I'd found the shoes, Jace pulled me back into an embrace. I pressed my head into his shoulder and stood there with him for a while. "Let's go, they're waiting," he said.

We went downstairs to a large room for entertaining. Everyone was chatting with each other and smiling. Jace and I sat down on a couch together and they began to switch their conversations to talk about my birthday. They insisted that I open gifts even though, just last week, I'd specifically told them not to buy me anything.

"Me first," Izzy insisted. I opened a box that held one of the fanciest pairs of heels I'd seen on anyone other than Isabelle. "Glorious aren't they?" She asked.

"Clarissa, dear," Magnus said. "If you don't open ours soon I'm going to go insane, Alec and I have been waiting to see your face as open this for a month!"

"Okay," I was a bit worried to see what was in the small box but was relieved to see that it was a necklace. Gold chained and holding bunches of stones inside of a gold feather. It reminded me of those dreams that I used to have in which Jace had been depicted as a golden angel. Next was Max who'd made me a painting that I planned to hang in my little art studio. Simon and the rest of the band had chipped in and gotten me a ukulele which I was _very_ excited about. We'd all joked around for a while before Jace and I were able to get away from the group. Walking through the halls, he turned to me with a smile gracing his face.

"What?" I asked.

"I have something for you," he said, producing a thin box.

"What was that I told you about gifts?"

"I told you that it was too late for that request, didn't I?"

I looked at him, suspicious.

"Just open it." I took it from his hand and lifted the lid off. I peeled away the paper and saw a sparkling, jewel encrusted seraph blade. It was polished and had red rubies on the handle.

"Jace…"

"I know you haven't trained yet, but I know that you know how to use it; especially after what you did to that demon in Pandemonium the other night."

"Jace, you're kidding me, right? You're not actually going to give me this are you?"

"Afraid you'll hurt yourself?" He taunted.

"More like afraid that I'll be able to kick your ass. Just making sure that you know what you're getting yourself into."

"I have no doubts about what you're capable of."

We went walking down the halls and steps before arriving at the greenhouse. "Reminds me of two years ago," he said.

"Minus the midnight and cheese sandwiches, I suppose."

"Don't think that I'm so unprepared," he said, taking out a paper bag. "And at least it's dark out." We walked down the paths and I jumped back when I almost stepped on something shining… A blade? "Recognize the place?"

"You didn't move the blade since then?" He shook his head. "Jace, I didn't know that you were such a romantic." We stood there for a minute and just held each other. I reflected on that night two years ago, when I was too distracted to focus on wanting Jace. I remembered how Jocelyn was in that coma, how I was oblivious to Luke's secret and Shadowhunters, how I didn't know who I really was or what I really was, didn't know about my father, and didn't know how much I could fall in love with someone. I remembered how much it killed me to not be able to be with Jace. All of the things that had happened in the last two years brought me here, taught me who I could be, and showed me how much I could go through and not come to my breaking point. These two years were the best and worst years of my life and now I was here, in the arms of the only man that I've ever loved, on my eighteenth birthday, knowing exactly where I was with my life. I was happy, I'd never been able to say that before but now I was happy.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Nothing important."

"Well at l- what is that?" He pointed to the other direction and let go of me.

I studied the other side of the greenhouse, nothing.

"What are you tal-" I turned around. "Jace…" He was down on one knee, small box closed and in hand, gold eyes staring up at mine.

"Clarissa Fray, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I have never met anyone who's made me so angry, and insane, and crazy, and in love. You are the most stubborn, aggravating, sarcastic, sexy, caring, sweet, and beautiful woman that I have ever known. And I really cannot lose that. I love you so much, Clare, I don't think you know. I love you now, I'll love you for the rest of my life, and if there's a life after that I'll love you then. You've made me happier than anything ever has and I want to make you ecstatic every day of your life. I want to love you, and have children with you, and grow old with you. So will you please, please make me happier than anyone who's ever lived and marry me?"

"Yes," I said right away. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh angel, Jace, yes!" He flipped the lid open to reveal the most beautiful ring that I'd ever seen in my life. A cluster of diamonds sat atop a white silver ring with gold and green jewels in them, the exact color of both of our eyes. He drew my left hand closer to him and slid the ring on, perfect fit. He stared at the ring for a second before lifting me in the air, spinning us in a circle, and crushing my lips with his. He beamed through the whole kiss which was heated, passionate, and extremely happy. I wrapped both of my legs around him, putting my arms around his neck, fingers in his hair. We laughed and smiled through the duration of the kiss, excited and just waiting for the rest of our lives together. He supported all of my weight easily, his hands on my back. I drew back from his lips and brushed hair out from his eyes.

"Jace Lightwood, I love you," I said.

"I love you so much more."

"That's doubtful," I countered with a smile.

"Hush," he said, bringing his lips back to mine. I kissed the man who would become my husband, the father of my children, with all of the hurt, and love, and frustration that we'd gone through together in the last two years. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or laugh more. This kiss, this day was one that I would remember for the rest of my life and then some.

"You're serious, right?" I asked.

"What do you think?" He smiled.

"You really want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"More than I've ever wanted anything else."

**Have I given you what you want, darlings? Haha, you guys guessed correct for the most part and have been since Jocelyn came in. Sorry about those intense lovin' scenes there, it must be that New Orleans air! Either the hot air or the Joan Jett and Prince songs (Kiss and Do You Wanna Touch). This chapter took more work than any other that I've written. I've been geeking out in the library (writing room) since we got here a couple days ago. Spent the day on a beech today which, let me tell you, is not bad for the writing! If you want to write as a profession or just for FanFiction I completely suggest that you go out and get as much experience as you can because that only helps you. But if you read enough, you get details and don't need to experience these things to write them. So get out there and experience things and READ! Trust me, lovelies. Alright, I'll see you next time. I love you guys so much. Please, please tell me what you thought because it feels like this chapter has taken me forever and it really feels amazing to have people respond to it. If you've written you know what I mean. So I will see you guys in the reviews. Thank you, lovelies.**

**DFTBA,**

**KelseyDockry**


	15. It's Always the Same

**Hello, lovelies. Please forgive me for this chapter, it's not very good after the last one. I promise that the next one will be much better. Stick around for the announcement in the end Author's Note. I'll be picking words from reviewers again. Please understand my writer's block. Forgive me of my typos. I'm so sorry, darlings.**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**

"What time is it?" I asked Jace.

He looked at the large clock on the wall behind me. "Nine o'clock," he said.

"Nine o'clock? We've been talking for two hours."

"Yes we have."

"I'm supposed to meet with Jocelyn and Luke!"

"When?" He asked, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Fifteen minutes!"

"That's plenty of time." I moved to sit up but he pulled me back against his chest.

"Jace, let go. There is not enough time for you to play."

"What if I want to play with my _fiancé_?" He asked, putting emphasis on the last word.

"I think that we'll have plenty of time for that later."

"When later?"

"You pick a time."

He waited for a moment. "Now," he said, rolling over so that I was under him. I reached up to brush his cheek with my hand.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he said with a smile.

"Play time's over," I said in his ear.

"Noooooooo," he drew out the word in a whining fashion.

"Come on, Jacey, let's go see Mom and Dad in law."

"But I want to play," he said, trailing a finger from my neck to my mid-stomach.

"We have thirteen minutes, no playing."

"I don't think you know how much I can do in thirteen minutes."

"I can only guess," I said before pushing him off of me. I tugged my shirt into place and blew my hair out of my eyes.

"Hey… you want to try something new?" He asked excitedly.

I eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of new?" I asked.

"Fun new!" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just close your eyes and don't attack me."

"Oh, you really have a way with words don't you?" I said but closed my eyes anyway. I felt his hands on me and my gravity was thrust away. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"Give it a moment," he said before I felt air rushing around us. "Okay, open your eyes but do not freak out."

"… Okay," I opened my eyes and pushed back a gasp. We were on the very edge of a window sill on the top of the Institute. I looked over his shoulder at the greenhouse; the big greenhouse where I'd first kissed and pledged to marry Jace. I wanted to be there again. I did not, however, want to be back on this ledge again.

"Ready?" He asked. I had no time to answer because he had decided to clutch me tighter and _jump_ _off of the ledge!_ I suppressed a scream and pushed my head into his shoulder. I felt us land and push off again so I had to look again. We approached the ground at a freaky speed and he touched roof multiple times. We touched earth and my heart began to slow before I could drop out of his arms.

"What… the hell… was _that?_" I asked in between pants.

"Did I scare you?" He smirked.

"I'm going to kill you," I yelled, walking away from him. "I'm gonna kill you and they'll never find the body."

"I'd like to see you try," he taunted.

I stopped walking and waited for him to catch up with me. A dagger jumped into my hand from my bag and barely touched his abdomen. I put my lips to his ear and said very calmly, "You sure about that?"

"You are the sexiest woman to ever walk this planet."

"You don't need to tell me something that I already know," I said.

He got down on his knees and grabbed my hands. "Marry me," he said. "Marry me and never leave."

"Deal. And while I love to see you begging on your knees, you should get up now."

"Okay, but will you do me a favor?"

"Depends," I said.

"Never change."

"As long as you don't," I replied.

"Do we have to go to see your parents? Can we just go back to your apartment?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to be with you."

"Not today, Jace."

"Not like that," he paused. "Well I wouldn't be opposed to it but that's not what I was talking about."

"After we see my parents."

"I'm holding you to that," he warned. The walk to my parent's house would have been normal with his hand in mine and my shoulder pressed under his but the weight on my left ring finger was impossible to ignore. The ring seemed to get heavier and heavier as we got closer to my parent's place. I'm certain that it was just my nerves that came from telling my parents that Jace had proposed and we are getting married. Even if he did ask permission they don't know that it happened today. My mind continued to worry until I began to think about people pushing us to have kids. I'm not against kids at all but after you get married that seems to be the only thing that people ask you about. We walked up and behind the bookstore to Luke and Jocelyn's house.

"Don't be nervous," Jace said when we'd gone up the porch and to the door. "You'll be fine and they're happy for you."

"I love you," I said, pulling him closer into a small and short kiss. He smiled against my lips and moved his head back, leaning over me to push the door bell.

"Get ready," he told me, taking my hand in his and gripping it tightly.

"Happy birthday, Clary," Luke said in his deep voice when he'd opened the door. He pulled me into a hug while Jace continued to hold my left hand.

"Is it Clary?" Jocelyn yelled from upstairs.

"Yes," Luke called up to her. "Come in, you two."

"Clary!"Jocelyn caught me in a bear hug when she'd made it downstairs. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks, mom," I said.

"I cannot believe that it has been eighteen years since you've been born! That is insane," she said. Luke nodded and ushered us upstairs. We sat in the kitchen Jace sat beside me on the bench at the table. "Coffee?" Jocelyn offered.

"Please!" I said.

"Sure," Jace responded. He looked over at me with a soft smile.

"So, Clary, what have you done for your birthday so far?" Luke asked.

I blushed at the memory of almost sleeping with Jace _twice_ in one day. "Uh, we hung out with everyone at the Institute."

"Sounds nice," Jocelyn said, handing cups to Jace and me. The door bell rang and Luke went out to answer it.

I took a sip in the awkward silence and Jocelyn grabbed my left hand. "Clary!" She said with an examining glare at the ring. "Wh- when?"

"An hour and a half ago," I said nervously.

"Oh, Jace, it's so beautiful! Clary, you're so lucky!" She put her ring up next to mine and studied them together, frowning for a moment before smiling widely at me.

"Guess who's here," Luke said, coming up the stairs.

"Hello, Lyn," I heard a more sophisticated Isabelle sounding voice say.

"Hi, Maryse!" Jocelyn said. I ripped my hand back and gave her a keep-quiet look.

"Jace, Clary, I didn't know you were here," Robert said with a smile. "Happy birthday, I didn't get a chance to wish you one earlier."

"Thank you, Robert."

"Happy birthday, Clary," Maryse said with an equally real looking smile.

"Thanks," I said. I wondered why she was being so nice. Jocelyn's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head. She was obviously wanted to tell the two of them.

"How is your birthday so far?" Robert asked me.

"Great, really great. Perfect, actually," I said.

"And what made it so perfect?" He questioned still wearing his smile.

I looked at Jace and his eyes hushed me. He wanted to tell his parents and that was only fair.

"I proposed," he said calmly. His profile held a slight flush, and a ghost of a smile. He gently took my left hand and put it on the table.

"Wh-What?" Robert stammered. That had to be the first time I'd ever seen him stumble over anything.

"I asked her to marry me in the greenhouse tonight and she said yes," Jace's voice confident, calm, and collected.

Maryse smiled and took my hand, examining my engagement ring. _My _engagement ring! I couldn't get enough of that! "Jace, this is so gorgeous. Congratulations, both of you. Are you excited?" She asked, beaming.

"You have no idea! I'm so thrilled!" I said. We both forgot how mad she had been and were like giddy school girls for a split second. Robert's mouth had stopped hanging open in the comical cartoon way it had been and he stared at his adoptive son. His son stared back with poise, the small smile still dominating his expression and his eyes piercing deep into Robert's. I saw Robert switch his gaze from Jace, to my ring, and back again. Jocelyn and Maryse were talking in high pitched voices and planning their own version of our wedding which I'm sure will never be the actual plans.

"We're going to be related officially!" Jocelyn said.

"I know! And we'll have the same grandchildren," Maryse squealed. I quietly choked on my coffee at her comment. We didn't talk for much after that because Jace and I had gotten lost in their grandchildren and marriage talk. We politely excused ourselves and left the house.

"Grandbabies, huh?" He asked with a smile. He looked down at the ground and moved his hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah, they seemed, er, pretty excited about that."

"You know, we don't _need_ to have kids right away. As long as we're happy together I don't need them. I mean, I'd like to have a few eventually but I think I'll just enjoy the option to get in your pants any chance I get." I gave him a look. "Kidding. I'm just saying that I don't see you as some vessel with which I use to bear my children."

"Well as long as I'm not only a womb to you I'm happy," I joked. "And I want to have babies. I'm just not sure if I want to have a newborn at nineteen even if I am married to the most important and caring man I've ever met."

"Well we can talk about having a family later. Let's go home."

"Which home?" I asked.

"Ours," he said before pulling me in the direction of my apartment. We walked the walk that we'd gone on countless times for the first time as official fiancées. As anyone in my head would be able tell, I was obsessing over that.

We ended up on the couch watching TV. I'd changed into shorts, a t-shirt, and one of Jace's sweatshirts that, on my tiny frame, _swallowed_ me completely. He'd changed into his sweatpants and dark t-shirt. This was our usual routine when watching television shows that we would never admit to anyone we watched. A few of these shows were _Criminal Minds, Merlin, the Big Bang Theory, Greek, _and the only show that I watch to make fun of him: _The Bachelor._ I have never and will never want to watch that show. Why do I watch it? Because if I watch it, Jace watches it. And Jace gets way into television. We watch a lot of action shows together because it is a highly unknown but very true fact that Shadowhunter instincts kick in when we see or read about action, however fake it is. So I find it completely hilarious to see Jace's face and feel him move when we were watching a fight scene. He was squished up against the back of the couch with his arm draped over me. A fight scene broke out and every muscle in his body tightened. Mine did too for a moment but I told myself that it was way too stupid to respond to. I took a breath to relax them and reached forward to the coffee table. I was about to grab a snack when the hold he had on me restricted how far I could reach. My middle fingertip was about a centimeter from the blue striped bag.

"Un," I groaned. "Red Vines!" I said, looking back at Jace with puppy dog eyes.

"You are a three year old. You are a three year old and I am like your babysitter," he said, releasing me. I sat up and grabbed a Red Vine.

"What the hell can't they do?" I referenced. I stood after that and he grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?" His grip was at the bottom of the gray sweatshirt and hovering just under my bottom. "Reid is about to go to the doctors about his headache and go insane. You can't leave me now in this suspense."

"I already know what's going to happen anyway."

"You do not! This is a new episode!" He argued.

"Every episode is the same, Jace. Woman is killed, two more were dead before, they kill three more, they find him about to kill, and save the last victim."

"Don't lie. You don't know that that is going to happen?"

"Fine, do you want to make a bet that that is what happens?" I asked, plopping back down on the couch and folding myself.

"Yes, yes I would."

We sat there and stared at the screen together for the next twenty minutes.

"I win. I win, I win, I win, I win, I _win!_" I sang at him.

"Fine, you win the bet."

"Do you know what this means?" He sighed. "You have to come with me to tell Simon and _all_ of the others about the engagement."

"Do I get a prize?"

"Why would you get a prize? You lost," I pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I can't trick you into a prize."

"I'm smarter than that."

He twisted his arm further around me, pulling me back into him. He pushed my hair back and kissed my neck once before whispering, "You sure about that?"

"That wouldn't be a prize for you," I pointed out. His arm turned me to him and his lips claimed mine.

"Clare, when are you going to give yourself credit for how incredible you are?"

I smiled and pushed my head into his shoulder. We fell asleep like that.

**Hey, readers. I'm so, so, **_**so**_** sorry about this chapter. I've tried to rewrite, like, ten times and I just have really terrible writer's block. I promise that I'll try and write a much better story. If any of you have any advice for writer's block or something like it you should really put it in the reviews. :) I know that this took **_**forever**_** to upload but I have a solution to that wait! I've created a FaceBook fan page called KelseyDockry from FanFiction. I'll be updating there and if you **_**like**_** it, you'll be much more likely to have more of a say of what is in and what isn't in my story here. Also, you'll get updates on where I am and all that fun stuff. Thank you, lovelies!**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**


	16. Handling Pain

**I know, I know. This took forever! Read the author's note at the bottom for explanation, etc., etc. I'm sorry about the typos. I don't own the series, though I wish that I did. Sorry again. I had terrible writer's block, darlings. Love you, sweethearts!**

** DFTBA!,**

** KelseyDockry**

My eyelids began to stir as the pictures stopped playing against them. I turned over from my side with my eyes still closed and stretched. Then I realized that I shouldn't be able to move that much without falling off of my couch. I opened my eyes and found myself tucked into my bed, light off, with the door closed. I moved out of bed and placed the covers back where they had been. The shades on the windows casted long beams of light where the dust danced gracefully. Shadowhunter eyes never failed to amaze me. I could see every fleck of dust, every beam of light, every bit of carpet on the floor. I looked in the floor length mirror next to the dresser on the other side of the room. My hair was still tied up and I was still dressed in the oversized sweatshirt and shorts. The smell of food wafted through the room and my stomach growled softly. I cracked open the door and saw Jace in the kitchen, pushing something around on a pan.

I walked through the hall and into the kitchen. His iPod was playing and his hips moved slightly to the beat. I laughed at him.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he said, turning to place a quick peck on my lips.

"Hi," I smiled. He continued to push around the food.

"You didn't have to cook anything."

"Well, I've looked over our relationship and I realized that I never really cook for you. So I decided that today would be the perfect day because my beautiful fiancée was asleep and looked too adorable to wake up."

"And you carried me to bed."

"Yes, yes I did. Because I'm chivalrous and the perfect future husband. Not to mention that you were too cute and I couldn't bear to wake you up," he said, wrinkling the skin between his eyebrows at the food.

"Do you need some help?" I asked, reaching for the utensil.

"No! Mine!" He said, moving in front of me so that I couldn't do anything.

"Fine, crazy," I walked back into the, brushed my teeth and showering. I went to my closet to change into proper clothes. I tugged off my towel and dried my hair with it. Slipping on underwear, I went to find something to wear. I pulled out a pencil skirt when I heard my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I said after I ran over to the other side to grab it.

"Hey, Fray. Got a sec?" Simon's voice asked.

"Yeah, what's up?" I zipped the skirt in the back.

"I'm just having some… Isabelle problems," he said in a worried voice.

"Again?" I asked, pulling a white blouse off of a hanger.

"Again," he confirmed with a sigh as I slipped the shirt on and tucked it loosely in my skirt.

"Well what's wrong?" I sat down and settled in for a long conversation.

"She's just acting really strange lately. She's been more… clingy?" He fixed himself with, "No, not clingy. More… intimate?"

"And what's wrong with that?" I asked. I knew Simon and I knew that he was a sensitive guy. He wanted closeness; he wasn't a guy that would push someone away when they got close to him. He's not like Jace was.

"She's just never been like this. She's always wanted to have more time to herself and now she just wants to be with me all of the time. It's tiring, really."

"She's in love with you, Si. I thought you wanted to spend more time with her."

"I did, still do. I love her but she's never been like this before."

"Well maybe she's just getting more comfortable. She wants to be open with you. You're not pushing her away are you?"

"Of course not, I like this. It's just not what I'm used to," he said.

"Well she loves you enough to open up like that and she's my best friend-"

"Ah-hem?"

"She's my best _girl_ friend so if you hurt her, well, I'm legally bound by contract to separate your balls from your body and we both don't want that to happen."

"Yeesh, Clary. Don't be so vicious."

"It's true," I said.

"Clary!" I heard Jace yell from behind the door. "This delicious bounty of perfection in food form is ready!"

"Hey, Si, I gotta go. But I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, totally. See you later."

I hung up and went out of the closet. Jace looked me up and down, smiling. "Wow."

"What?" I asked, blushing.

"That skirt," he said, raising an eyebrow effortlessly. "Hot."

"You're kidding me, right?" He smiled wider. "You are a slave to your teenage hormones."

"And lovin' every minute of it," he flirted, pulling me into his arms and laughing.

"I'm sure you are, Lightwood."

"You've got no idea, almost-Lightwood."

My eyes widened and I looked up at him in surprise.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing, it's just the almost-Lightwood thing."

"Well," he said, taking my left hand and smiling at the ring. "It's true."

"Kiss me, please," I requested.

"You don't even have to ask," he whispered. I felt his arms curl around my waist as they always do. I closed my eyes and leaned upwards. My waiting lips were not met with his when I felt my body lifted. My eyes fluttered open and I saw him carrying me to the bed.

"Jace, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Shhh," he said, setting me down on the bed with my head on the pillows.

"Uh, Jace?"

"Quiet," he whispered, running his left hand through my damp curls. "Do you still want that kiss?"

I nodded. He smiled and settled himself over me. His lips moved closer to mine and I pushed my hands into his curls so that he couldn't move back. They got closer, only a centimeter away, and his hand glided down my body to my waist. His fingers pushed harder and forced a giggle out of me. He laughed and continued to tickle me.

"Jace, stop!" I begged. "No! Seriously! _Stop!_" I hooked my legs around his waist and tried to roll over with all of my strength. He wouldn't budge but he did move one hand away from my stomach to hold my left hand above my head. "Stop it!" I continued to beg.

"Come on, Clary. You're a Shadowhunter. Do something about it," he taunted.

"That is what this is about?" He had to be kidding. "You are crazy!"

He leaned in, stopped tickling me, and placed his lips at my ear. "Do something about it," he repeated. I tried to push him back over again with my legs. He laughed. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Clare."

"Do not push me," I warned. I tried unsuccessfully the wiggle my small hand out from under his. Then I got the idea. I arched my back off of the bed and pushed into him. I moved my right hand to shift his face over to mine. "Jace," I whispered seductively. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him. He kissed back passionately. I smiled against his lips and pushed him over. Third time's the charm. "You're gonna have to do better than that, Jace." I got up and went to go get my breakfast from the kitchen. "You made pancakes?" I yelled back to Jace who was still in my room.

"Your favorite, right?"

"Yeah. Come on, stop sulking. Get out here." He walked slowly out of my room with a child-like frown. "You're so cute. I'd kiss you but I don't think that my fiancé would like that very much. He usually doesn't like me to kiss other people."

"Very funny," he said, putting his hands in my hair and drawing me towards him for a real kiss. I melted into his frame and moved my lips with his, turning my head slightly to the right and moving both of my hands to both sides of his face. He murmured against my mouth sweetly. I stretched up on my tiptoes to kiss him deeper. He didn't argue. I smiled and opened his lips with my tongue. He lifted me and set me on the counter. His strong arms went on either side of my body and he leaned over me. He moved back and parted my lips from his.

"See, was just kissing me so hard?"

"Comes naturally," he said, moving back to fill a plate with pancakes.

"I wasn't exactly done kissing you," I complained, frowning, gripping the counter tighter, and throwing a glare at him.

He smiled back and said, "Didn't realize you were so needy."

"Shut up," I retorted immaturely before putting my hand on the back of his neck and pulled his lips down to mine. I crushed his mouth almost painfully with mine in a hot and heated kiss. A scraping sounded on the counter and I assumed it was the plate that Jace'd loaded with pancakes. I pushed him hard against the counter and heard him groan, pulling me up into his arms. I greedily and possessively kissed him, my tongue battling his for dominance and, to my pleasure. It was a fair fight if not swayed in my favor. I played with his hair and made an involuntary small noise in the back of my throat. We must have stayed like that for at least ten minutes until I pulled back from lack of oxygen. His mouth traveled down to my neck, his hand on the back of my hair and tugging gently to make my head fall back and give him more room. My nails scratched at the top of his arms and I sighed into his hair. I realized when his hand slid down my back that my phone was ringing again. I kissed him harder for a moment before breaking away and looking at him. I groaned and reached for my phone.

"Yes?" I asked after picking it up and seeing the caller ID.

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you something."

"What is it, Simon?"

"We were going to just do the drum beats and guitar for a few songs today but we have extra time. Do you think that maybe you could come in?" He pleaded in the voice that he used to make me do what he wants.

"…What time?" I asked, looking longingly at Jace's lips.

"Twenty minutes? Meet me at Brewed Awakening?"

"Sure. Look, I'm kind of busy. I'll see you then, okay?"

"Okay, bye!" He barely managed to get out before I'd hung up. I didn't waste time asking Jace if I could kiss him. I hung up the phone and threw my arms around his neck not a second after. He smiled and lifted me off of the ground. My legs were around his waist and my fingers were in his hair. It was times like these that I was glad that I was so small and he was so strong. It didn't take much work for him at all to lift me and kiss me as long as I wanted him to.

His smile as he pulled back was breath taking. "Shouldn't we stop?"

"No," I said, crushing his lips to mine.

"Yes we should. Simon needs you," he argued.

"Well, more importantly than that, I need you."

"Come on," he said, putting me down. I blushed and adjusted my skirt.

"I have some time. This place is only two minutes from the coffee shop."

"Well time management is an adult-y thing to do. We won't always live two minutes from everything."

"Who says we can't stay here?" I asked.

"Well if we want to have kids then we'll need to have more space for them."

"But we don't have to move until that happens, do we?"

"I suppose that we wouldn't _have_ to."

"You should move in here." His eyebrow rose. "Well I just mean that you could officially move in here. You already half live here, you know. So I just thought… Do you want to?"

He nodded with a smile.

"Okay," I said awkwardly. Pulling at my skirt again, I went to put my shoes on. Jace watched as I went. Slipping my small feet into a pair of heels, I looked through my hair at him. He smirked and waved at me.

"Come on, go. I'll be here when you get back."

"Fine," I said, kissing him quickly before pouting and walking out of the door.

The coffee shop was hugely packed. People crowded around the tables on both levels. Loud music busted through the speakers over the buzz of conversations flowing loudly. I remember when I was a freshman in high school everyone in school would come out to hang here. It was this fractional equivalent of a restaurant-club-library-coffee-shop that is made of one hundred percent awesome. I still love being here. I went to stand in line when with my phone in my hand, engrossed in texting Jace. When I'd gotten to the front of the line, I pocketed my phone and asked for black coffee.

"Clary?" The barista said, shocked.

"Oh, Kaitlin. Hi!" I greeted my old class mate.

"Oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?"

"I'm… doing well. How are you?" I asked, hiding my left hand in my pocket and grabbing the coffee that she'd made.

"I'm good," she said, taking off her apron. "And you're lucky because I'm off now." She motioned me to follow her and sat me down on a table. "Hold on one second."

She disappeared in the crowd and I stared at my phone, waiting for a text from Jace. I got said text when Kaitlin had brought back four girls that had gone to high school with me. Alex was with them, I guess that she had a few jobs because all of the girls were green wearing aprons and black skirts with ponytails.

"Clary Fray, I have not seen you in almost a year!" One of the girls, Jess I believe, said. "What have you been up with?"

"Uh, not much," I said, sitting back down in the booth.

"Yeah," Alex said sarcastically. "Not much other than that hot boyfriend of yours!"

"Simon's not that hot," one of the girls said.

"No, he is definitely _not_ Simon. What was his name?" She asked.

I blushed and whispered, "Jace."

"Oh yes, Jace. Damn."

"He can't be _that_ hot," Kaitlin said.

"He's more than that hot. He's like a god."

My phone lit up on the table and buzzed with a text from Jace.

"Is that him?" Jess asked, beaming.

"Yeah," I said, taking my phone.

"Oh my _go-_" Kaitlin started, grabbing my hand.

"_Clarissa Fray, is that a ring?_" Alex yelled loudly.

"Uh, yeah."

"No way! You're marrying Jace?" Alex asked.

"I am."

"Damn! You get to have _that_ for the rest of your life?"

"Alex, he can't be that hot."

"Clary, can I see your phone?" Alex asked while grabbing my phone from me.

"What're you-" I started.

"Look at _that_!" She said, showing my screen to the other girls who almost immediately groaned.

"You're kidding me," Jess begged.

"Which one are you looking at?" I asked, taking the phone back. The picture on the screen was of Jace outside the _Hard Rock_ on one of our dates. He was wearing a black shirt, tie, and black pants. This was in October of last year so his outfit showed off the gradually darkening blond of his hair and the unleaving tan of his skin. "Oh, his hair is a bit lighter now that it's summer."

"I can't believe that you get to have him! Your kids are going to be freaking gorgeous."

I smiled and talked to them for a while before they suggested that I get Jace to come over here so that they could meet him. They had just about talked me into it when Simon appeared with the guys at the door. Behind Simon stood Izzy, Alec, and Magnus. I guess the whole bunch came out for the recording, though I doubted that Magnus and Alec cared, they probably just ran into each other.

"Guys, I have to go," I told them.

"Well tell _Jace_ that we say congratulations," Alex smiled.

"Will do, I'll see you later!" I called, walking down the two steps to get to the front of the shop.

I hid for a second so that I could call Jace.

"Hello, beautiful," his voice said.

"You. Brewed Awakening. _Now_!" I whisper yelled at him.

"Wh-"

"You lost the bet _get over here!_"

"On my way," he said quickly. It literally took him about a minute and a half to get there. He'd somehow managed to dodge the others and sped over to me. I grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss. "Well hello there," he said when I'd let him go.

"Don't. That was the last kiss that we get before Magnus and Izzy are all on my case about sleeping with you," I told him.

"Well in that case," he smiled, grabbing my waist and pulling me in for a deeper kiss.

"Is that all that you two do?" Izzy asked from behind us.

"Hello, Izzy," Jace said. I slipped my ring into my palm and put my hands in my pockets, secretly placing it there.

"Hi," she greeted suspiciously. She looked between me and Jace with squinted eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong maybe.

"Are we going to sit down or just stare at each other?" Magnus asked.

Izzy did not respond, just walked up the two pointless steps and to the back of the room. We pulled up chairs to fit us. "So…" Izzy started, looking at Jace and me back and forth. "What's new?"

"Not too much," Magnus said. "You know, just doing some warlock stuff. Some _party planning for tonight_," he said, looking at the two of us angrily. "Because I know that you forgot."

"I didn't forget," I defended.

"Well why aren't you dressed for a party?" He challenged.

"Because it's the middle of the day. You only have parties after nine. And I'm supposed to go with Simon and the band to record today."

"Speaking of which," Simon said.

"What's going on with you two?" Izzy asked quickly to Jace and me. "Something is different and it's bothering me. You need to tell me."

I looked at Jace and smiled. Then I looked at everyone at the table. "Jace and I are engaged."

"Eng… What?" Simon stuttered.

"Oh my _angel!_" Izzy shouted, looking over at Magnus. They seemed to already be planning it.

"Ring, ring, ring, show me the ring!" Magnus yelled at me. I slipped it on my finger and pulled my hand up to show them.

"Jace Lightwood! Why did you not take me shopping with you?" Izzy yelled at him.

"Because you would have told Clary," he said simply, not looking away from Alec. I glanced between the two of them. Alec was questioning Jace with his expression and Jace was answering him. It must have been a skill from the years that they had been living together. I didn't understand it. The only person that I can have a silent conversation with is Jace and even that is hard to do.

"When are we shopping for the dress?" Magnus said, breaking me out of my trance.

"Uh, I don't know. We just got engaged yesterday, Magnus. I haven't even had time to think about it."

"Well, Clary darling, you must understand that it's the most important outfit that you'll ever wear. And Isabelle and I will have to be there. I'm sure that Jocelyn will want to be there too."

"She definitely will. But the dress is going to have to wait for a while." I looked at Simon who was still looking shocked. I thought back over the two years since I'd started down this road. I thought about how he'd broken himself because of me and how I could never love him. I also thought about how we'd grown up together, thought that we were in love, and now we're only friends in separate relationships. He was a vampire and I was a Shadowhunter. I'd always be happy with Jace, always. But looking at Simon like this, right now, I knew that if I had never found out that I was a Shadowhunter, never met Jace, I would be in love with Simon. Simon and I would be in a close relationship and I'd never know better. We'd get married in our mid-twenties, have three kids, and live in a small city in a small neighborhood. And we wouldn't know that either of us could have ever had better, we were never meant to love each other because Isabelle and Jace are who we should be with. And seeing him, remembering this, caused a pain that I would never wish to inflict on anyone. I wonder if he feels it too, feels this bruising in his chest. The pain was nothing like seeing Jace when I couldn't have him. That was a crushing, stabbing, killing pain that I would never forget. The kind of pain that you couldn't compare to anything because it hurt so much that I would spend countless hours mourning the loss of what I thought that we could never have. That feeling that somehow what I felt about him was so disgustingly wrong that if anyone would see the relationship that I wanted to have they would lock me away where I thought that I belonged. That somehow my love for Jace was so mistakenly placed that it made me spend every second of the time that I was with him a burning pain that made me want to lock myself away forever and never see him again. Now I can have him, Simon can have Izzy, and we can all be happy. That relationship with Simon had never made me feel pain before. But I am a Shadowhunter, I can handle pain.

**I'm really sorry that you had to wait so long. I've been so incredibly busy writing other things that I feel like I've had to just not been able to write this. I'll definitely be writing more, you know, going into Jocelyn's pregnancy, the wedding planning, something with the band, the… Jace and Clary relationship details, if you catch my drift. Now again, I really suggest the Facebook page **_**KelseyDockry from Fanfiction**_** just because I'll be updating there a lot (I don't want to do Author Updates on here because you'll think it's a new chapter.) Also, do you think that I should go further into Iz and Simon's relationship or Alec and Magnus' relationship? Just a thought. Thank you, lovelies.**

**Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**


	17. A Rose by Any Other Name

**How long did this take? Answer: forever. In fact, it took me long enough to acquire my lovely beta/grammar aficionado: KaseyMeredith. Love her! Now I must apologize for taking so long to do this. On the plus side, you get your longest chapter yet! Filled with Jace and Clary love and witty banter. Also, new points that I know about that you don't. Oh how I love to keep little details from you. Don't worry, you'll get the eventually because I love you. So thank you for being my beta, Kasey, and I'm sorry that I couldn't get this chapter to you. I've started the next one and I'll send that to you but I didn't feel like I could handle waiting any longer than I had. I don't like to keep my lovelies waiting. This is the last typo warning!**

** DFTBA! and Best Wishes,**

** KelseyDockry**

"We doing Pandemonium this weekend?" Eric asked when I'd walked out of the recording booth.

"Not this week," Simon said.

"You're kidding me. I don't have anything to do on Friday now," He stressed.

"Ask your girlfriend to do something," I offered, taking a swig of my water bottle.

"Well sh-"

"Clary, why are you wearing a ring?"Matt voiced after an hour of not speaking.

"Oh, uh. Jace and I…" my eyes flicked up to everyone else's, "we're kind of… engaged."

"I wouldn't say kind of," Simon put in. "I'd more say that they're the universal symbol of the engagement world."

"Okay, we're extremely, inconceivably, and irrevocably engaged. Now that we have that taken care of..."

"And you didn't think to tell the most important men in your life?" Eric asked, a hand going to his chest in false hurt.

"Oh, we told Robert, Luke, and Alec already. And Jace obviously knew already so I think that takes care of the most important ones, right?"

"Why must you pain me so?" Eric asked.

"It's payback for the poetry," I smirked, taking another drink.

"That was _two years ago_! Let it _go_!"

I looked at the others in the band. "Didn't we agree to never let him forget about that?"

"I believe we did," Simon said, stroking his invisible beard.

"My nefarious loins," Matt whispered.

"Shut up!"

"Don't count on it, my inconspicuous brethren," I smiled sweetly.

"Quiet, Shadowhunter," Eric glared.

"That's not an insult. I've told you that I can kick your ass without any trouble. Don't think that I won't," I said.

"I'll help you, Clary," said Simon. "You might need a vamp-y touch to this take down."

"If you need a weak human's help," Matt interjected, "I'm your scrawny man."

"Well look at the time. I'd say that the recording sesh is finished," Eric said, checking his watch-less wrist.

"You've got that part right," a warm voice said at the door. "You ran out your time about forty minutes ago."

"Hey, Jace! My man! You got a ring on the finger of the eternally and sarcastically ever-single! Give me knucks!" Matt said, shoving his fist in the air next to Jace.

Jace looked at him for a moment before gently touching his fist to Matt's.

"Should I be taking offense to that, Matthew?" I asked, glaring.

"One should never be hurt by the truth, Clarissa," Matt said. Jace put his fist out and gave a generous fist bump at that comment.

"Careful, Jace. Remember the power I have over you," I warned, standing up and starting to walk to him.

He scoffed, "You have no power over me. I am a man, handsome, intelligent, crack-open-a-beer-ob-the-antler-of-an-elk, manly kind of man."

I stepped closer to him, putting my finger-tips on his thigh and whispering into his ear, "You wanna bet?" He visibly swallowed. "Goodbye, boys."

I grabbed my bag off of the hanger and walked out the door, Jace a step behind me. We reached the street when I groaned at the rain. He then shed his leather jacket and draped it over my shoulders softly. I looked up at him, golden skin and runes etched under the already damp fabric of his white shirt that left very little to the imagination.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked, drawing my attention back to those devilishly delicious lips of his. We started walking down the street. "Look all you want, baby. I might even let you touch."

"Let me? It's almost like you're talking another language," I said, eyes set on his lips as they pulled back in a sadly breathtaking flirty smile. I had him in the small recess between two buildings that barely shielded any rain. It kept a tiny bit away and we were alone so we stayed.

"N'est-ce pas ce qui vous excite, bébé? " He purred.

"Did you just speak…"

"Françoise?" He looked up at me through his lashes and smirked. "I said-"

"I understood it. Just… keep talking, please," I begged stupidly.

"J'ai besoin de toi, Clary," he whispered back. "Je t'aime."

"Je t'aime aussi, Jace. Je t'aime tellement," I said.

"Clary," he groaned in a low voice, his fingertips ghosting up my arm to the back of my neck, eyes trained on mine.

"Do you really need me, Jace?" I asked.

"More than you know," he said.

I fisted the bottom of his shirt and pulled him closer. "Then take me," I said, rain dropping off of my chin and flowing through my hair, soaking the outside of his warm jacket.

He bent forward, sweeping his nose over mine and lips literally an inch from mine. "We're out in the open," he whispered, his deliciously warm breath washing over my face. I could taste it, taste him, that mint and something else too specific to be anything other than him taste that he always had on his mouth. And I wasn't ever one to be afraid of taking the first taste.

"Has that ever stopped us before?" I breathed back. His lips were close, so close, all I had to do was lean forward, a centimeter maybe and his lips would be on mine.

"I suppose not," he said, grabbing my waist and pushing me back so that I was flush against him and the brick wall. I blinked against the rain for a moment before his hands came to the wall on either side of my head. His face came above mine and the drips from the rain fell down on me. His curls were soaked through completely and made them look darker and thicker. His lips moved down infinitesimally and I heard a car drive fast on the street and the frustrated groan of a young woman near the mouth of the alley way.

"I'm walking here, you son of a- Oh," I heard a voice say. Jace and I turned our heads at the same time to see big blue eyes staring at us, honey gold pigtails frizzed from the rain. She wore jeans and a low cut tank top. "I'm so sorry," she said, blush covering her cheekbones. I hid my face in Jace's shoulder trying not to show too much embarrassment.

"Perfectly fine. You'll understand when you're older," Jace said to her. I looked up at him in with a glare.

"Yeah," the girl said, raising one eyebrow, "I'm sure that you'll understand when you're older that this," she gestured to the embrace that Jace and I were in, "isn't something that you do in public."

"Why are you walking around New York City alone, in the rain, in an alley, wearing _ that_, and talking to strange men you've never met? Poor judgment," he said.

"I think that I can take care of myself," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"I doubt that you can. You're what, eleven?" He asked.

"Fifteen, actually," she glared.

"The only fifteen year old that I've ever seen that is able to handle New York alone is me. I don't think that you can," he laughed.

"Listen, Mundie-" she started.

"What did you just say?" I asked, shocked.

"The incompetent weakling mind that you Mundies have wouldn't und-"

"You're a Shadowhunter?" I whispered.

"How do you know what a-" her eyes flew wider and she said, "Clarissa Morgenstern."

"How-how do you know my name?" I stuttered, letting go of Jace.

"You're that girl who can make runes!" She said, coming closer to the two of us. She looked at Jace for a moment before saying, "And you're Jace Wayland. I've heard of you too."

"I'd be more flattered if you'd get my name right. It's Lightwood."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "You two are the Seraph Set! Everyone knows who you are, you defeated Valentine, you met Raziel!"

"Seraph set?" I asked, clueless.

"That's what they call you at the Clave, or in Idris in general. I've learned of you and your brother," she gushed.

"They told you about Jonathon?" Jace asked, fingers tightening against my hip where his hand rested.

"Not very much. But I met him, before he died, I mean. During the war, I was in town at my house. My father died because of it," she said, her eyes clouding over.

"I'm sorry-" I started.

"It's not your fault," she said.

"It was my brother. It is my fault," I told her.

"Clare," Jace whispered in my ear.

"It's not. And that was two years ago, Jonathan's death settled my revenge." She looked at Jace. "Thank you."

"It was the very least that I could do. For Clary especially," he said, eyes darkening.

"Why are you in New York?" I asked her.

"I had to get away from family in Idris, I'm so sick of relatives. I thought that maybe New York would be a better place to spend my time. I was on my way to the Institute," she said, biting down on her lip.

"We'll show you where it is," I told her, walking forward.

"We didn't get your name," Jace said, twining his fingers with mine.

"Roselyn. But you can call me Rose," she said, taking the space beside me.

"Rose," I memorized. "Okay, well if you need anything, Jace and I'll either be here or at my apartment, which isn't too far from the Institute." By this time, we'd reached the elevator and waited for it to screech up to the main floor. Once we'd arrived, we told Roselyn to stay back by the lift.

"Maryse?" Jace called.

"She's in Idris!" Izzy called from the kitchen.

"Iz, get out here!" She appeared in a second, hair fastened with a dagger, apron tied tight around her thin figure. "Go get Alec," Jace said, squeezing my hand.

I went off down the hallway, stopping at Alec's room. I knocked twice on the door. "Ready or not, here I come!" I called to them. My hand was about to wrap around the doorknob when it turned and the door wrenched open.

"May I help you?" A very touchy and glittery Magnus asked.

"This is important," I said. "Get Alec's shirt on and come to the library."

"I have all of my clothes on, thank you very much!" Alec called from the bathroom.

"Just get out here!" I yelled.

By the time everyone had been settled into the over-stuffed chair, questions had already begun to fly.

"Who is this?" Izzy asked, icy eyes squinting like she was trying to find some kind of underlying threat.

"I'm Roselyn, preferably Rose. I just need somewhere to crash in the city and, you know, Institute," she said.

"Yes but I don't really understand why you need to be here. Where's your family?" Alec asked.

"Mother's in Idris, father's dead, only child."

"So where is your mother?"

"Too busy for a family. We were never close and she never had time for me. My father raised me, I loved him so much, and when he died I had nobody. My mother never stepped up and I spent the last two years by myself and I'm done with it."

"Who is y-"

"What's going on in here?" Max asked from the door.

"This is Rose, she'll be staying with us," Izzy explained.

"Where are you from?" Max leaned against the door frame.

"Idris, I grew up there."

"I did most of my growing up there, too," he said.

Magnus chimed in then, "Rose, darling, how do you feel about parties?"

"Magnus, is this really th-" I started.

"Shh, Clary," he said, "this is important."

"Yeah," Rose put in, "I do like parties, I guess. I haven't been to many parties that aren't business-y. My mother's parties were all short heels and knee-length black dresses."

"Oh, I can fix that," Izzy told her with an intense smile that made me feel protective of the girl. However, this let me off of the Barbie Doll hook, so I let it go. Izzy and Magnus towed her off to her room and Max went out to play more of his videogames. After a moment, Alec must have felt awkward because he left the room without a word.

"So… a party tonight?" Jace asked.

"Let's get out of here while we can," I said, grabbing his hand and running to the elevator.

"Clary, I wouldn't be surprised if Isabelle kills you for making us late!" Jace said from the open door of the closet.

"Jace, the party is in an hour," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"Exactly, it takes Izzy about two hours to get you ready. Not that you need it," he amended.

"She's working on Rose. It's a win for all of us."

"I don't see how that's a win for me," he said, one eyebrow rising.

"Well," I said, walking over to him and putting my arms around his neck, "I'm here with you longer. So, you know, we can do things like this," I kissed his neck once, "and this," my lips went up against his skin, trailing along his jaw, "and also this," I pressed my lips against the skin below his ear.

"I guess I can deal with that. It's more of a tie if you ask me."

"How so?"

"You know that you want me exactly as much as I want you."

"I disagree."

"No you don't."

"Why are you arguing about what I want?"

"I'm not arguing," he argued. "I'm simply pointing out that it's just as much of a win for me as it is for you, I'll give you the fact that I'd enjoy it, quite a bit, actually."

"You'd like it more than I would," I said, bringing my fingertips to the side of his jaw. "When was the last time that you shaved?"

"Was that what we were talking about?"

"Was that the last time that you shaved?"

"I shaved yesterday, shut up."

"Hmm," I said.

"Hmm, what? Don't you like the rugged, untamed man-shadow?" He glanced at himself in the mirror behind my back.

"No, I like it. It's kind of sexy, actually."

"I agree," he said to the mirror.

"You would."

"Would you like me to shave before the party?" He asked, arms slipping around my waist.

"I'm good with this." I nipped at his jaw. "Keep it."

"Well if you insist." He trapped my lips in a kiss. After a few moments, he pulled back and said, "But seriously, you need to get ready so that we can leave."

"Can't we just stay here?" I whined, going onto the tips of my toes to kiss him. His lips curled up against mine and he unfolded my hands from the back of his neck.

"No," he said, "we can't stay here. Magnus will kill us."

"But if we stay, it'll be _so worth it_!"

"No."

"Jace!" I whined.

"Clary," he mimicked.

"I don't want to go."  
"I don't want to die. There are some things that you're going to have to do in this relationship and going is one of them."

"But there's so much fun to do here," I said, walking my fingers up his arm and smiling.

"If you don't come willingly, I am going to have to drag you there. Don't think I won't."

"No you won't."

"How do you figure that, ma chérie?"

"Well, I'm in a skirt and a blouse, not party clothes, and you won't change that."

"How much you wanna bet?" He asked, a smirk pulling at his lips while he lifted a hand and popped one button on my shirt.

I slapped at his hand but he caught my wrist and continued on to the next button. "J-" his other hand twisted around my waist and pulled me closer, lips descending on mine. I tried to stop myself from surrendering by breaking off the kiss but he just continued to attack me with his lips as he moved down my neck. "Jace."

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked into my shoulder, one hand coming up to cup my neck and curled into my hair.

I drew a blank for a moment before shaking my head and putting my hand in his hair, pushing him back a bit. He smiled sweetly at me and tucked my hair behind my ear. I drew a blank for a moment before shaking my head and putting my hands in his hair, pushing him back a bit. He smiled with that sexy grin and tucked my hair behind my ear. I noticed then that my shirt was more than half unbuttoned and untucked, showing off the black and lacey bra that I wore in a way that made me blush heavily.

"My favorite color, how'd you know?" He smirked, pulling me back to him.

"Jace," I said, fisting my hands into the jacket he hadn't bothered to take off. I pushed him back slightly.

"Clary, baby, tell me what you want, tell me what to do," he purred into my ear. He took my earlobe in his teeth for a moment. My self control dwindled with the shiver that creeped its way down my spine. It came back when his hand went to the back of my skirt. I broke away and stumbled back one step.

"I'm going to change," I mumbled before going into my closet. The door clicked and my shoulder blades pushed up against it, my eyes closed, breath unsteady, and chest rising and falling uncomfortably fast. Why couldn't I just him and get it over with? I pushed the nagging questions out of my head and went to find a dress _formal_ enough for Magnus' standards. There was one, and only one, in the very back that I hadn't worn before because there was no place to use it. One made of black silk that cut off just under the half way point of my thigh, with a dangerously open and draped back. It had always seemed much too beautiful to hug my near-curveless frame, although it'd gotten better in the last two years. But the dress wasn't so formal that I couldn't wear it to a regular party. What else was I to wear?

"Told you I could get you to change," Jace smirked.

"Th- is_ that _why you did that?"

He shrugged and threw me a sexier smirk than I'd thought possible. "Well, it was a win for the both of us, wouldn't you say?"

"More of a win for you."

"I disagree, baby girl. Touchin' this," he waved his hand the length of his torso, "is always a victory."

"You're so cocky."

"And you get it all to yourself."

"Do I really?" I asked, walking my fingers up his stomach and feeling the muscles tighten and untighten before pushing my palms to slide flat against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding.

"Not right now," he said, I was surprised that his voice could be so even with his heart pounding so strong and fast. He was good.

"Aww, but you said that you were all mine. I like to take what's mine." I leaned in to whisper in his ear. "And I don't like to share."

"As much as I _really_ love when you talk like that," he paused to take a shaky breath, "or when you do that to my neck." I smiled against his jaw. "We should really stop."

"Come on, Jacey. We've got ten minutes to get there."

"It's an eight minute drive if I drove."

"I don't think you know what I can do in two minutes."

"I often enjoy entertaining the idea."

"Come on, baby, live a little."

"Did you just call me 'baby'?" Jace asked.

"What, you don't like?" I had my hands under his shirt and his back pressed up against the wall.

"Oh no, I like. I like a lot," he said.

"I can tell." I fisted his shirt from the inside and pulled him closer.

"Then why haven't you shown me?"

"I think that I've made myself _abundantly_ clear."

"Come on," he purred. "I showed you now you show me."

"You see, I would," I smiled wider and ran my hand into his hair, tugging at it the way I knew he liked, "but I have this fancy dress on. So I can't." My hands slipped from his body and I took one very large step back.

"You are one evil, cruel… unfortunately sexy woman."

"I know, Baby."

He groaned and left to change while I laughed to myself.

Once he'd found me in the corner of the living room he said, "I haven't seen you draw in weeks."

"I just felt in the mood today." I looked down at the rough sketch of the hill of trees and the creek behind the Wayland manor.

"Well, let's go to the party and just get it over with."

I slipped on my shoes and followed as he tugged at my hand. At the bottom of the underground garage parked Jace's motorcycle. Maryse and Robert had decided in the first year of our relationship that they didn't want their son to be flying around in the sky on demon-fueled vehicles, I had to agree even though Jace never wanted to give up his beloved vampire bike.

"Helmet?" Jace offered, picking up the single black helmet on his bike.

"Jace, take it."

"I insist," he said, thrusting the helmet at me.

"You're the one driving, Jace. You're the one that should have the brain bucket."

He didn't respond, just pushed my hair away from my face and put the helmet on my head. "I'm protected by my leather jacket and my rough, unadulterated manliness." He swung one leg over his bike and looked back at me. "You coming, baby?"

I swung my leg over with slight difficulty due to my skirt. All of the uncomfortable feelings bled out of my system when I settled into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and grabbing hold of his jacket.

"Hold on," he said, kicking the bike to a roaring start. The city buildings blurred ferociously on either side of us as Jace gripped at the bike and pushed it faster. We had spent a little too much time… teasing each other at my place and I could tell that Jace was working himself to speed to the party. We shaved about three minutes off of our time that it generally took to get there. I saw a lot of women walking in wearing very short dresses and six inch heels. I could tell two things from that: one, Magnus was _definitely_ having one of his big ass parties, and two, he'd much exaggerated how formal this was supposed to be. Oh well, at least I didn't look like I was going to a wedding and Jace hadn't bothered to be any more dressed up than half ripped and dark jeans and a _hot_ gray t-shirt, I knew he'd chosen a v-neck to drive me insane. It was working. He turned and stopped dead in a spot in the alley beside Magnus' two level home. I pulled that infernal helmet off of my head and shook my hair violently before getting up and smoothing my outfit.  
"You okay now?" Jace smirked.

"Almost," I said, leaning up against the bike. "I wouldn't mind leaving."

"We aren't even at the party yet and you're going to complain already?"

"Come on! Let's go to Pandemonium! We can hunt there!"

"I'm not letting you hunt with no weapons."

I pulled out the knife that he'd given me for my birthday the night before in response.

"You had that on your thigh?" He asked, eyebrows raised and clearly impressed.

"Let's go."

He took the knife and lifted the bottom of my dress just enough to show the thigh sheath where the dagger had come from. He gently slid it back into place before looking back up to me with that grin. "You look beautiful, now let's go to this damn party. I don't want to be here anymore than you do."

"Doubtful," I said, walking away from the alley. He followed me out a few steps behind. I saw a throng of people working their way into the door. One of the men with blue spiked hair and a set of black eyes looked me up and down lazily before meeting my gaze and winking at me. I felt an arm curve around me and I was pulled into a cloud of scent: sunshine, laundry detergent, and lime. Jace bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Never pegged you as the jealous kind of boyfriend there, Jace," I said.

"I'm not jealous. I just don't like how he was looking at you, like you were some kind of pastry on a bakery display."

"Jealous."

"I do not get jealous."

"Jealous," I repeated, smirking at the way that it bothered him.

"When have I ever been jealous?"

"I do remember detecting a certain, shall we say, hostility on your part when meeting Simon."

"Well, yeah, but he was all over you and you loved him. Even if it wasn't _love_, you still love him. But I wasn't _jealous_, I just didn't want anyone else to have you."

"That's jealousy, Jace."

"No, it's-"

"Shut up," I said, pulling him towards the swarm of people. I know that I should have been shocked when I found out that there was a freaking bouncer outside of Magnus' door, but I wasn't in the least bit surprised. That was who Magnus was and that was what we needed to except, sparkles and all. And the line to get in wasn't really much of a line at all, just a jumbled mess of bodies all trying to gain entrance. I'd never seen most of them but I could tell that they were all different kinds of people: Shadowhunters, vampires, warlocks, werewolves, I even saw a faerie or two scattered around in the crowd. The crowd seemed more intent on speaking and flirting with each other than they did on getting into the party, making it beautifully easy to push our ways to the front. The bouncer looked the two of us up and down before a large hand landed on his shoulder and blue sparks came off of the tips of that hand. Magnus looked like his sparkly self with his black hair spiked and glittered and his black leather clad long legs. He wore a vest over a pink and blue shirt. He spoke above the bashing and pounding music to the bouncer. There was a red velvet rope removal and we were ushered fast into the party.

"Magnus, is this a party or Pandemonium?" I asked, pulling back after his two kisses to each of my cheeks had been placed.

"It's worse than Pandemonium," Jace said, tucking me into his side.

"Now none of that, you two." He gestured to our touching. "I don't want my lovely friends to be nauseated."

"Friends, you say?" Jace asked.

"Yes. These happen to be a fraction of my friends here."

"Really?" I said. "Then who is she?" I pointed to a girl grinding herself against a boy on the dance floor.

"She's…"

"That's what I thought."

"Regardless, you two need to learn to keep your hands off of each other for just a moment. I wouldn't want Jace over here to steal your semi-innocent mind, Clary."

"Is that why you bought her all of that lingerie?" Jace asked with a smile.

"You go, girl," Magnus said, smirking at me. "You use that lingerie."

He walked off before I had the chance to defend myself. I glared up at Jace and he widened his eyes in fake blamelessness. I ignored the reaction that my body had to those puppy-dog eyes and picked the crowd apart with my eyes: group of vamps to the right, some faeries to the back, two tall werewolves out spiking one of the punch bowls, nobody that I really knew. The dance floor was in the middle of the huge room, and yes, Magnus did really have a _real_ dance floor in his house. There are some things that you just get used to after two years. There was a hallway that led to a staircase to the left of the large room and a few doors that led to the kitchen and what not. All of those three doors had paper duct-taped to them, papers that read things like: 'KEEP OUT!', 'STAY AWAY!', 'YOU'RE NOT WELCOMED IN THIS ROOM!'.

Music boomed like thunder through the entire place, seeming to shake the very foundation of the place. I wasn't into that kind of music, rappers trying to rhyme over the belting of pop singers, definitely not my style. But everyone seemed to be enjoying it. I saw a flash of long black hair walking up the stairs: Isabelle.

"Jace, they're upstairs," I shouted to him. He didn't say anything, just pushed me forward into the tide of people. He kept his hands on my hips and I could feel his chest against my back. It had been surprising how well we'd gotten through without being shoved or stepped on too many times. I'd kept my head down the whole time for fear of getting a stiletto heel to the foot. Once we'd crossed the sea, we were much closer to the vampires and the faeries. I recognized one of the faeries to be Meliorn, Izzy's ex. I wasn't sure if they'd dated or just fooled around but he sure didn't seem to want me to see him. He kept his eyes on his friend and pressed himself into the wall, hiding like a pathetic little boy. I ignored him as he ignored me, it wasn't too hard. I looked back at the dancers when we'd gotten to the foot of the stairs. They moved together in the same way that most people did at the club but a lot of them didn't bother being coy about it, you could tell that they wanted each other and didn't plan to take no for an answer. That seemed to always be the difference between Downworlders and Mundanes, Downworlders didn't give a damn about embarrassment, they knew too much to care. Mercifully, the music changed as we ascended the stairs.

Up the stairs was the group that I'd so hoped to see. Seated in the over furnished and over designed room was Izzy, Alec, Simon, Magnus, Roselyn, and, oh the familiarity, Maia. There were also quite a few partiers up here, just not as many as downstairs. Jace had already taken a seat on the small couch and was talking to everyone but Maia.

"Clary, I haven't seen you in an eternity!" Maia cried.

"Hey, Maia, how've you been?" I said, taking a place next to my fiancé on the loveseat.

"Not as well as you two have, I hear you're tying the knot?"

"You could say that."

"Damn, girl," Maia said. "Way to be!"

"What do you mean?"

"He's an ass but he's totally hot. I can't believe that little Clary picked up that sexy piece of man."  
I laughed. "Thanks but he's the one who asked."

"Yeah, and you're the one who gets to jump his bones every time you want to for the rest of your lives. Don't get me wrong, like I said, total asshat but hey, you take what you can get."

We both laughed and talked for a while after that, refreshing the budding friendship we'd had six months ago. She'd gone to Idris for a long while and we hadn't really talked much.

I couldn't help my attention shifting to Rose after a while. She looked so much older than she did when I met her a few hours ago. Her honey blonde locks were curled and swept up gently into a messy up-do, her long legs looked even longer in the tall heels and short gold dress, her blue eyes stood out significantly under long fake lashes and golden makeup. She looked like she belonged with the lot of eighteen year olds, even if she was just fifteen. Her high cheekbones and athletically built body didn't hurt her appearance either. She crossed her slightly tanned legs elegantly and looked between Jace and Isabelle as they each spat words at each other in their little quarrel. Izzy had painted her nails a deep green that matched parts of her shoes. She looked beautiful; maybe I should sit a little more still next time she tries to play Barbie with me.

"Hold on, Maia. I'll be right back," I said, getting up and stepping away from the group. They didn't seem to notice much, though Jace tightened his hand around mine involuntarily before I slipped it out from under his grasp.

A beat boomed down the stairs and I descended the stairs. The crowd had multiplied since we'd gotten there about an hour ago. I glanced to the line for the bathroom, why was there always a line like the DMV there? After about two seconds of pondering, I decided to go to the bathroom in the old diner across the street.

Taking the last four steps on the staircase, I became, as always, the shortest person in the room. I'd learned many moons ago that the only way to properly get through a large club-crowd was the dance through it. Green, blue, red, purple, and white beams of light flashed around on the partiers, strobe lights near blinded me. After a moment, my eyes adjusted and I was able to start my little dancing motions. People always move out of your way when your dancing, I'm not sure why but it works. Well, almost everyone moves out of your way, the guy that put his hands on my waist and tried to dance with me was not one of those people. Now I had to pee, I had to pee and I was _so_ not in the mood to be flirted with like that. "Sorry," I held up my ring-bearing left hand about three inches from his face, "you're about two years too late."

He backed off the second he processed this and I scooted my butt out of that place as fast as I freakin' could. My heels clacked against the pavement as I went down to the diner. The bell over the door rang when I walked in and waitresses bustled around the place like rabbits and the customers tried to quiet their squealing children. I shuttered at the tired looks of the mothers that held their kids to try and get them to settle down. That'll be me in a few years…

To my immense pleasure, there was not one single person in line for the bathroom. In fact, the only people even near the bathrooms were a woman and a man, both in their twenties. The woman was tall, extremely tall and didn't need the heels that hugged her feet. Her hair was blonde, bleach blonde, but still looked natural with no high lights. She had an extremely angular face and was thin as paper. The man was shorter than her, five-seven maybe, with an untidy black mop on his head, half curled at some spots. They both stopped talking when I approached but didn't look at me, keeping their heads down and close together.

Once I'd gotten back to the party, everyone was downstairs. I found Jace by the bar, yes an actual bar, he leaned comfortably against it. When he noticed me his eyes lit and his sexy smirk curled up on his lips.

"Hey there," he said when I'd gotten to him. He took me gently into his arms and kissed my forehead.

"You're acting intimidating sweet, baby," I said. "Why?" I turned my head to look up at him.

He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Would you rather I be something else? I can be dirty if you prefer dirty."

"Please don't ruin it," I laughed, pressing my lips to his shoulder.

"Well we can both be dirty. Nobody will know, we can go home and-"

"Stop there," I said, touching my pointer finger to his lips.

"Is that a no?" He said, smiling.

"We talked about this."

"Fine. But I'm going to kiss you, you can't stop me now."

"Don't tempt me, boy," I smiled, moving my hand from his mouth to his neck and the hair that brushed it. He moved his hands down to my waist and pulled me against him. His lips came down on mine softly and caused my eyes to practically roll back in my head. Ugh, I love him so much it's not even funny. I've dug myself pretty deep in this hole and, yeah, no thanks, I don't really want to get out. His one hand curled against the hair that fell over the back of my neck. I pulled him down farther and molded myself to him.

"You know, we ought to stop meeting like this," a voice said from behind us.

I broke off from Jace and turned my torso to see who had interrupted us. Rose stood there with her hands on her hips like usual. She sported an amused smirk and flipped her hair out of her eyes.

"I disagree, I just think that you should stop interrupting," Jace said, mirroring her smirk.

"Well you can finish when I'm done," she said. "Magnus is about to kick the rest of these guys out and we're gonna take off. You guys should probably go or something. Magnus says that he's ending the party in, like, ten minutes."

"Good to know, little one. Now get, I've got business to take care of."

"Yeah, yeah. Use protection or whatever."

"Bye, bye," Jace said, waving her off.

The music changed to a slow song.

"Oh! Perfect chance to show off," Jace smiled. "May I have this dance?" He put his hand out in the air.

"Is this only to show off?" I asked, taking his hand.

"Purely and simply."

He took me out onto the dance floor with the last of the remaining people that swayed slowly in circles with each other. He placed my hands in the right place and put one of his on my waist, knowing exactly what he was doing. He started to glide us around the floor with a grin on his face.

"How have we never done this before?" I asked and we twirled.

"Not exactly the thing that I thought you'd be referring to the first time that you asked me that," he said.

"Shut up. Why haven't we danced like this before?"

"Because we've never had a reason. I thought your mother might kill me if I showed her and Luke up at their wedding."

"I guess this means that we don't have to do those weird dance lessons?"

"I hope not, those things suck."

"Where did you learn to dance like this?"

"When I was eleven I took lessons."

"For the ladies?" I teased.

"You know me so well."

"I definitely do."

I put my head on his shoulder and danced with him for a while before the song drifted out.

"Want to go home?" Jace asked

"So much," I said.

"Let's go before Magnus finds us."

"Hell yes," I said, sneaking through the remaining people on the floor. The bouncer was still there, looking like he was about to fall to pieces. Magnus and Alec must have been upstairs and waiting out their time limit to kick out the last loiterers. We walked out the door and half-ran to the alley way. Jace's black bike sat in wait for us, shiny and pretty, a manly sort of pretty. Speaking of manly pretty, Jace went straight to the bike and put a leg over it. He turned bake and handed me the helmet. I didn't bother complaining this time, just stuck it on. The drive was longer than the one on the way there. I had my head laid down on Jace's shoulder and my hands fisted in his jacket for most of it. When we'd parked in the garage, Jace unhooked my helmet and put it away.

"So I was thinking…" He trailed off.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"June."

"June?"

"Yeah, for the wedding, I mean," he said, looking at me with a half smile.

"Oh. _Oh_, June. That's in about nine months."

"Well, yeah. But June just sounded… right, I guess?"

"That seems to be the generally accepted idea," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, every Mundie wedding is in June."

"See," he said, grabbing my shoulders gently and beaming at me, "that's the beauty of being a Shadowhunter. Most Shadowhunters marry in September. We aren't Mundies."

"June," I repeated.

"June," he confirmed.

**Aww, so cute! June. I love June so much, and it's next week! That must mean summer for you younger readers, I wish you all the best for that. And for my college readers, how's **_**your**_** summer so far? Tell me in the review. Also, tell me what you think of the new found grammar win in this chapter. Thank you, Kasey! My poor hair is suffering from the intense amount of pulling and pony-tail stringing that it's been getting as I made me way through these seven thousand and some words. On Tuesday, there was a conference that I went to for writing and it was heavenly. Seriously, if you are having trouble finding a way to write through the block, go to a website or find some good YouTube videos. It's been helping me. Although there was one guy that criticized my writing more than I'd have preferred, that's part of what I do. Writing is a hard thing to improve and the only way is through practice and reading. Trust me, if you want to write, get it done. And I know that I have a lot of teenage readers or high schoolers, even middle schoolers, and I have one thing to tell you about it: **_**Now**_** is the time to be practicing, to be terrible and to improve. My writing is… meh, but with reading and writing, I'm getting better. High school is your time to, well, suck at writing. Give yourself permission to be bad, and then get better. Beating yourself up about your writing is only going to put writer's block in your way. If you are having trouble with it, switch places that you're writing. If you can't do that, take a little time off, read if it helps, or you could even try to write your way through it. I also suggest NaNoWriMo (Google it). My point is that if writing is what makes you happy, write. Just write.**

** DFTBA! And Best Wishes,**

** KelseyDockry**


	18. Lights

**Really, really, **_**really**_** long chapter here for you. It's a nice, big, plotty one! So go grab a drink and some snacks, because it's one of those really important chapters. And since it's so long, I won't bore you with a long author's note. Let the chapter begin.**

**DFTBA! And Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**

My back hit the mat hard for the third time since we'd started sparring today. Jace's hands were grasping my shoulder firmly while he smirked at me. I growled under my breath and attempted to get his hands off of me.

"Settle down, baby. Just get me off you and we can start over," he said. I didn't move against him, didn't listen to him. The only thing that I did do was turn my head away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Come on, don't be stubborn. This happens to everybody, I've been training since I could walk. You're just starting."

"I started a week and a half ago!"

"Exactly my point," he said, taking his hands off of my shoulder and leaning back, still sitting on my hips.

"And _my point_," I snarled, pushing him off me, "is that I shouldn't need this, you know. You've seen what I can do. I fought in the war, I've been hunting, and I survived Valentine! Why can't I take you down in a damn spar?"

"I'm sure that you can, you're just frustrating yourself."

"Whatever."

"Again?" He asked.

"Again." I rolled my shoulders back and shifted to stand on the balls of my feet.

"Are you ready?" He asked, circling me.

"Ready, just do it."

I could feel his eyes on me, assessing me and trying to find the best spot to attack. He moved to walk in front of me, muscles rippling under his gold skin. He was shirtless, wearing only shorts. His hair was matted in some places from sweat, while more sweat rolled down his bare stomach. I swallowed visibly. He was half crouched and ready to start.

"Go," I said.

"Don't be so-" He flew at me. I caught the fist that he was about to throw at me and punched him hard in the stomach. He didn't even flinch, just backed up for a moment before kicking out at me. I ducked under his leg and moved mine out against his ankle. He didn't have the time to jump up and lost his balance at my impact. I moved over as quickly as I could to pin him to the ground but he was too fast. "You're gonna have to do better than that, baby girl," he taunted.

I flew back at him before he could move. I knew what he'd expect, I'd spent the entire week making sure that he'd think that I would only kick at him or throw a punch to his stomach. It'd been so hard to spend my week like that, tricking him. But it was so worth the look on his face when my fist connected with his jaw and my foot connected with his chest, kicking him so hard he flew back in the air and hit the mat-covered wall. I sprinted to him and pushed him as firm as I could against the wall, keeping him there.

"That better?" I asked, panting. He looked me up and down, taking in my spandex workout pants and my loose white tank top that fell over my pink sports bra. I wore no shoes and tape over my knuckles.

"So much better," he said, moving the hand that I didn't have against the wall to my hair. He smiled at me. I brushed the matted hair away from his forehead; he was covered in sweat and it should have been a turn off but, Angel, did it just make him hotter. His lips moved down to mine, fast and insistent. I could taste him perfectly and damn if it wasn't good. He lifted me and pushed me up against the wall of the training room. Bodies flush against each other, breaths mingling with each other's, and hands intertwined against the wall. I wonder why my training sessions always end like this, one of us kicking ass until Jace can't stop himself any more. Not that I would ever complain but it always made Alec upset. This took away the sort of intense training that he wanted, not that Jace cared at all. I wouldn't be shocked if he thought that Alec's annoyance was funny. Alec taught me some, if he didn't he wouldn't care. I tugged on Jace's hair as he liked and he made a sound in the back of his throat that I didn't have a name for, a perfect mix of a moan and a grunt, and it drove me insane. His fingers went to the tie that held my hair in a high ponytail and pulled it out, making it fall around my shoulders in the way he always liked. I couldn't breathe, much less did I want to, but he seemed to think that I had to. So he pulled back and nipped at my jaw. My breath washed over his hair, fanning it back softly. He lifted me higher and kissed my neck, moving his lips along to the dip in my collarbone.

"Jace," I whispered. "Jace, wait a second."

"Really?" He groaned.

"We can continue-"

"Making out?" He interrupted with a smirk.

"Yeah, that. We can keep doing that but I want to take a shower."

"I'm pretty good at that, you know."

"I've heard. But so far I've been able to do it without help."

"But I don't really care if we've been training. I'm probably sweatier than you are."

"Yeah but it makes you look sexier, it just makes me feel disgusting."

"You're plenty sexy, trust me."

"Yeah," I pushed against his chest and he set me back on my feet. "I'm still going to take a shower."

It always surprised me how blank his room was. The only color that I could find were the touches that I'd tried to make. He had a few of my paintings hung on the wall, some pictures of us and our families on the dresser. I'd also put new curtains up and a deep navy blanket at the bottom of his bed. The only color that he put in his room was the picture of me that sat on his bedside table. It was something that I'd tried to get him to put away since he'd put it there in the first place but he insisted that it was something he _needed _to have on his table. I'm pretty sure it was just there to bother me.

When I'd gotten to his room, I walked straight through to his bathroom. Izzy must never have walked into this room because the only color was his toothbrush, the toothbrush that he'd probably used about twice because we never slept here. The walls were white, as well as the shower curtain, rugs, floor, and various holders of his things; everything was white. I stripped off my sweaty clothes and tore open the shower curtain. The shower had a strange mix up with it, you had to pull the tab for the water up and hard to the right for it to work properly but the water from the large shower head felt like heaven.

I realized after about a second of being out of the shower that I'd forgotten to grab new clothes. And there was no way that I was going to put on those sweat soaked spandex pants. I wrapped the oversized and fluffy towel around me and fastened it tight under my arm.

The door clicked loud enough to make Jace turn around from the window. I walked out from the bathroom and closed the door behind me, trying as hard as I could not to blush as I stood before him in a towel.

"Are you planning something or have you just forgotten your clothing? Personally, I'm hoping for the former," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall.

"Just shut up and take your shower."

"I thought that you said I wore my sweat like a sex-god." He walked past me and opened the door.

"I did _not_ say that."

"You have that 'he's so sexy when he teases me' look on your face."

"This is my normal face."

"Exactly," he said, shutting the door.

I laughed to myself before walking to the dresser near the window. I opened the drawers and drew out one of his long sleeved plaid button ups and a pair of my own light denim shorts. As I dressed myself, I studied the pictures that were scattered around his dresser. A few of them were pictures of the entire family, some just him and his siblings, and most of them had me in them. There were ones of his family and me, ones of my family and him, but mostly ones of us together. Simon was even up on there once or twice. I was constantly shocked at the pictures that he found important enough to keep in his room.

I'd half buttoned my shirt when I heard the door creak open. Jace walked out with semi-dripping hair and low-rise jeans. You could see the band of his underwear just over the top of the dark wash denim. His hands held a white towel that scrubbed at his damp hair.

"You gonna finish buttoning that shirt or am I going to have to take another cold shower?" He asked from under the towel.

"Oh," I said, taking my eyes off him for a moment and looking down at myself. "Sorry." I buttoned my, well his, shirt up until only the top two buttons were loose.

"Please don't ever apologize for having your clothes half off."

"You're such a perv," I said. He shrugged and walked over to the dresser. His hand went to the first handle when one of mine went to his stomach. He looked down at my fingertips on his abs and then up to my eyes, he cocked an eyebrow up at me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Who did you say was the perv?"

"It's definitely you, definitely you."

"Right, because I'm the one touching the other without permission?"

"Is it not okay for me to do this?" I leaned forward into him and he pushed me against him, taking a step forward to press my back into the dresser. "Maybe I should stop."

"You really think I'd let you stop?" He moved his eyes down my body to the wound I'd gotten during training today. It wasn't bad, just a slit in my skin that stretched the vertical length of my right thigh. It had only bled for a few minutes and clotted fairly quickly but it still bothered Jace when anything like this happened. He brushed his fingertips over the gash and frowned.

"Jace, it's just a scratch," I moved away from him.

"No, Clary, I saw your face when it happened."

"My face didn't look any different from usual."

"Your eyes did. I hurt you, Clary."

"It didn't hurt that much, don't worry about it," I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers over the cut. Pain sparked under the pressure of my hand.

Jace moved over to me and kneeled in front of the bed. "I'm always going to worry about you, Clare," he said, holding my face. "The thought of training you is… petrifying. But I'm trying not to think about hurting you. I know how hard it is to begin training and you're exceptionally good at it. I just don't want you to be in pain."

"Don't beat yourself up about this, Jace. It's not like I can't kick your ass." I reached to the other side of the floor where Jace's black stele had fallen. He took it from me before I could press it onto my leg. "Are you playing doctor?"

"If I were playing doctor, you wouldn't have to ask," he said, putting the tip of the stele on my skin.

"Well are you planning to tear your clothes off to dress my wounds? Because I wouldn't be opposed to that."

He smiled and continued to draw the iratze. "If you want me to get naked, just say so."

"I would but that would go against our agreement yesterday," I said, twisting my hand into his hair. I flashed briefly back to the conversation we'd had last night. We agreed that it would be much better to wait until June to sleep together. To wait until after we're married. The reasoning was simple: neither of us wanted me to get pregnant before the wedding. Most people had probably already assumed that we'd gotten pregnant already and I didn't want them to be right. And as I'd told him after we got engaged, I wasn't sure if parenthood was something that I was ready to take on at eighteen. So we decided that it'd be more special and sensible if we just wait for the months that were left.

He stared at the iratze for a moment after he'd finished it before running his hand over the fast healing skin. It bonded itself back together under his touch almost like he was the thing mending it.

"See," I whispered, "all better."

His hands continued over my leg and up to my waist. His thumbs drew circles over my shirt and pulled me so that I was sitting on the very end of the bed. He straightened his back and connected his lips with mine, hard. I reached out to him like I was drowning and he was air. He rose from his knees and leaned into me, pulling me up to his bare chest. I could hear him murmuring against my mouth before he breathed in deeply, crushing me to him. One of his hands moved to knock the stele and the bits of clothes and gear off of his bed. He drew me up to the pillows and pushed me further into the mattress. I could feel his breath fanning against my face when he broke off to look down at me. He brushed stray hairs off of my forehead before kissing along my jaw, hands slipping up under my shirt and tracing patterns on my stomach and back. His tongue darted out against my neck and I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore. His lips moved up to my ear and bit on it lightly.

"You're going to have to breathe if you want me to keep doing things like this," he said before pulling back.

"Wh-what?"

"Well, baby, I know I'm pretty but I'd prefer that you stay alive here. I'm doing the best that I can to keep your heart beating, I'd like a little bit of help."

"You're good," I said, "but you're not _that_ good."

"You're funny. Let's not pretend that I don't drive you insane."

"You are such a-" His hand came up and covered my mouth softly.

"No, no, baby girl. Careful what you say, you know how I react to your naughty words."

"Get off," I laughed, pushing at his shoulder.

"That's exactly what I do."

I blushed when I realized what he meant. "You're disgusting."

"Don't lie," he said, rolling over and falling onto the pillows next to me. I got up and walked over to the door. "Hey, where're you going?"

"Put a shirt on!" I called back, turning out the door.

"Who's naked?" Rose asked excitedly from outside the door. She smirked a very adult-looking and omniscient smirk.

"Nobody's naked."

She looked me up and down, seeming to notice that I wasn't wearing my own shirt. "You sure about that?" She continued to study me as I studied her.

"All black?" I asked.

"All Jace?" She said, not looking at me but tugging at her cut-off biker gloves that stopped half way down her hands and had no finger coverings.

"Wouldn't know what you're talking about."

"Sure, sure. Saw you training earlier today."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you kicked his ass."

"Well he got me in the leg with a knife but other than that."

"He's not that hard to take down."

"Like you've ever tried," Jace said from behind us.

"I've never been beaten before."

"You've never fought me."

"You two are so annoying when you're together," I said, running a hand through my hair.

They both blamed each other at the same time.

"I'm gonna go take my Latin training now," I said, walking away from them as they glared at each other.

"Alec, I really don't think that you understand. It's been _two hours_ and I literally cannot say one more word of this."

"It's not that bad, Clary. You haven't retained anything. Focus."

"Ego adtendens, Alec. Ego incipio cogitare Latine!"

"…All right, point taken. Go."

"Gratias ago vos adeo!" I said, stealing away through the library door.

"How was your lesson?" Jace asked from where he'd been waiting in the hall.

"Terribilis."

"Remind me again why I'm not your Latin teacher. Because, damn, that's hot."

"It's probably the same reason that they don't want you to be any kind of teacher."

"And why would that be?" He smiled.

"I distract you."

"I believe it's because _I_ distract _you_."

"Don't kid yourself, honey."

He caught up to me as I started making my way down the hall. "Rose wants to go hunting tonight. I thought that if you didn't want to we could go to a movie or something."

I could feel my eyes light up. "Hunting?"

"Clare, you've already been hurt from training enough today."

"Jace, come on! You sound like my mother!"

"I just don't want you to work yourself too hard in one day. Let's just go to dinner and a movie."

"I'll tell you if I start to tire myself out."

"Fine," he said, rolling his eyes. "But if you start to complain, I get to fix you up and tell you 'I told you so.'"

"Agreed." I pulled him down for a quick kiss before he broke off.

"You're smiling too much. It makes me uncomfortable, you seem to know something that I don't."

"I know firsthand how much you love my smile. Don't pretend."

"Oh no, I definitely do. You're sexy when you smile, as if you weren't sexy all of the time. You're just… too excited to go hunting. I'm not too happy about it."

"Stop trying to protect me, Jace," I said, running my lips in the hollows of his cheekbones. "I've got this."

"I know a few things that you can have but this isn't one of them. I've told you before, I'm always going to worry about you."

"I don't see why, though. There's really no point to your worrying. If I can kick your ass, I can kick anyone's ass."

"You cannot kick my a-"

"Simon, will you _please_ just be rational for one damned minute! I am telling you that there is no point to this. If you really want to complain about your damn World of Warfare or whatever, leave me out of i—ew," Isabelle said into the phone. I looked up at her face, which was distorted in disgust. "Why do you two insist on doing this in the halls? Use Jace's room, that's why he has it."

"I have my room so that I have a place to make out with my girlfriend? I didn't know that that was why Maryse gave it to me, how sweet of her."

"You know what I meant."

"Iz," I said, "can I have your phone?"

"As long as Simon stops complaining about his level eighty-nine dungeon troll, or whatever, you can keep the thing," she said, shoving the hunk of pink plastic at me.

"Isabelle! It is not a dungeon troll, it's a—" Simons voice growled from the small speaker.

"Look, Si, Izzy doesn't care about World of Warcraft. In fact, I barely care about it. It's just you, Simon, just you. So settle the hell down, all right?"

"But someone to—"

"Simon, sweetie, I'm going to be as nice as I can. _Shut up!"_

"That's not exactly what I'd call nice, Clarissa."

"Simon, call me that one more time," I hissed. "Test me, come on, I dare you."

He gulped on the other side of the phone.

"That's what I thought I heard you say. Now talk to your girlfriend about something she cares about and keep her busy," I looked back at her. "She's being interruptive."

"Maybe if you'd just go into Jace's room like I told you to," said Izzy, snatching the cell phone out of my grip, "you wouldn't have to worry about my interrupting."

"That'd be the ideal world, now wouldn't it?" Jace put in.

"You've always got to be an ass, don't you?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

"What was that? You checked out my ass? Thanks, Iz, but I've got a fiancée whose ass I'm _much_ more interested in."

I slapped him in the arm and he dragged me into his side and grinned at me.

"You two disgust me. Clary, I'll see you tonight."

"Why?"

"We're hunting, it's your first actual and intentional hunt. You're bait, baby."

"My name is Barbie."

"Yes," she said, already making her way down the corridor, "yes it is."

I watched her walk unfalteringly in her heels on the white carpet. She never failed to be the most fashionable thing I'd seen in all of New York, never failed to be the most beautiful girl in the room, and she never failed to see that in herself. Some people would call it borderline arrogance, but it wasn't, it was confidence. She'd always had to be the big, strong girl in this field of big, strong men. With Jace and Alec for older brothers, she must have been outshined in her athletic department since she was too young to understand why she truly needed to train. She had unfailing courage and strength that snaked through her unquestionable beauty. If you didn't know her, you wouldn't see it until she made you see it. But if you knew her as I did, you would see it present in all that she did, all that she said, hiding just under a layer of icy blue in her eyes, her indomitable eyes.

I laid my head down on Jace's shoulder as I sighed, and felt it rise with his laughter.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just, you know, after training and—"

"Are you tired?" He asked in a teasing little voice.

"Not tired so much as—" I broke off when he bent down to lift me off of the ground, bridal style. I clutched my arms around his neck in surprise.

"I told you that hunting would be a bad idea, this is just further proof," he said, walking as if I didn't weigh anything at all.

"If you're going to try to talk me out of it, then put me down."

"No thanks, I like to have total control over you, it's kind of reassuring. You're so damn stubborn that I'm not sure if I will ever want to put you down. And besides, don't pretend that you don't want to be carried around by me."

"If you say one word about this being practice for the honeymoon, I'm going to kill you. You are _so_ painfully cheesy."

He smirked. "Roses are red, violets are blue—"

"Be quiet," I said.

We'd reached his door and he kicked it closed behind him. He didn't put me down until his shins hit the bed. I sat up and stared at him, watching him crawl up to me on the pillows. He put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back. He moved on top of me and looked down with a blank expression, surprisingly blank. He didn't have any kind of smirk or sarcastic look, just blank.

"Jace," I asked, tucking my fingers under the hair that fell over his eyes, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"You're all serious-faced."

"Well I can't pull a sexy smirk all of the time. Would you like me to spend my time doing something else with my face?" He asked, pressing his lips to mine once.

"Wouldn't you love that?" I asked, curling my fingers into the hair at the back of his neck. I rolled over after a minute while he was still hovering on top of me. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Kill joy," He joked, laying down next to me. He fit his body against mine and wrapped me up in his arms. I turned my head into his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

I woke up about an hour later to Jace's lips brushing against the sensitive skin behind my ear

"Leave to go where?"

"Don't know, don't care. Just not here. I hate being _here_."

"Do you want to go do something for the wedding?" I joked.

"You sound like Isabelle, oh Angel, you sound like Isabelle."

"I'm sorry, did I scare you, baby?"

He smiled down at me and caressed the side of my face.

"We have literally nothing to go and do, Jace. Why don't you figure something out?"

He scrunched up his brow for a moment before clapping once and saying, "I got it!"

"Yes?"

"Let's go back to the apartment and make out until we're dragged off to Pandemonium. Yes, I do believe that sounds like a plan!" He said, putting his hand on one of my thighs.

I laughed and pushed him back. "Funny, baby, _real_ funny."

"I'd say thank you if I were joking."

"That's really what you're suggesting? I'd like to hear your follow up to that."

He paused. "It's fun?"

"Are you sure that you're nineteen? You sound like you're fifteen."

"And pray tell," a voice came from the left, "what is wrong with fifteen year olds?"

"They keep interrupting and they're the most annoying things on the planet."

"You're not a picture of perfection yourself, charmer," Rose said.

"I'm willing to bet that I am. And you're not exactly a picture of sexiness either."

"Beg to differ," she said, pulling her left hand into her honey curls and swishing them back. "Crimson," she addressed me, "Isabelle wants to see you about your little ceremony with Charmer there."

"Okay," I said. She pulled at her biker gloves again and straightened her leather jacket. She unconsciously batted her eyelashes over her clear blue eyes and shook her hair back again.

"She's on the phone with the vampire though, you know how those freaks are. So you probably have, what, an hour or two?"

"About," I agreed. I watched her walk away from us both with that confidence in her step. I turned back to Jace. "Home?" I asked.

He nodded. "Home."

I turned the key in my door and tried to push it open. It was stopped half way by the mass of boxes stacked around in the hallway and living room. Jace had more than half moved into my apartment. And by half moved in, I mean his mark was even more in here than I thought possible. I'd often entertained the idea of moving in with a man, when I was little. Though, the thought of it was never anything like how it actually turned out. Back when I used to dream of that, I was still being repeatedly brainwashed by my sparkly friend and I'd always pictured a nice boy with trimmed hair and pretty eyes. The kind of boy that I could bring to my mother and be proud of his gentlemanliness; the kind of boy that I could call a perfect _man_. Like, a manly man that was still a gentleman. At least Jace is manly and he can be a gentleman, mostly when it's just us.

I pushed my way through the door and dropped the keys in the bowl on the table. Jace closed the door with his foot and followed my safari trip into the forest that was his possessions.

"I didn't think your moving in would consume so much of our apartment," I called back to him when I'd made it to my kitchen. I riffled through my fridge, searching for some form of leftovers.

"Complaining or simply pointing out the obvious?" He asked. I could see him lounge on the counter next to me. I pulled out a styrofoam take-out box and transferred the cold food to a plate.

"More considering the moving idea that we talked about two weeks ago," I said, placing the food in the microwave and moving to stand in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed a quick kiss on my forehead.

"The boxes will leave when the stuff gets moved in, we don't have to move. I know that you don't want to move."

"Well, I bought it for myself. Now I can tell that it isn't the size for two full time people."

"You don't want to move, I don't really want to move anywhere else right away. Let's just stay here for now. We can look for apartments and if we find one, we'll move then. Okay?"

"Fine, but we're cleaning through these boxes the second we get the chance."

"Deal," he said.

After we'd had lunch, I heard the phone ring. Jace stopped moving his lips against mine and sighed, reaching out to grab the phone. "Hello?" He asked. He handed me the phone. "Jocelyn."

"Mom," I said after I'd taken it, "hi."

"You'll never guess the news," she said excitedly.

"What is it?"

"I scheduled my first ultrasound!"

"You did? For when?"

"Tomorrow," she said. I looked up at Jace, who hadn't taken a step back, and he smiled at me, seeming to have heard the news.

"That's great, Mom!"

"I'm so excited, I've never had a proper ultrasound!"

"You haven't?"

"No," she said, "Valentine did a few while I was pregnant with Jonathon, but he sedated me. He only did it to see if the potions were working. When I was pregnant with you, I couldn't go to a hospital. I was too scared that Valentine would somehow find out about you that I just… couldn't."

"I was born in a hospital," I stated, confused.

"I walked in, they thought my name was Katherine White."

"You… Why didn't you tell me that?"

"It happened and I can't change that, Clary. I told them a fake name to protect you from your father. You've seen him and you know who he is, how terrifying he is. I wouldn't let him find you and I was afraid that if they knew my name, he would. I went as Jocelyn Fray for all these years, I'm still afraid of him-"

"He's dead, Jocelyn," I said without emotion. "I was there, I saw it. He is dead."

"I know he is, Clary, I know. But death doesn't always hold. You should know that better than anyone." I flashed my eyes up to Jace's chest, just over his heart where I knew his scar was. One of the many scars, most were twirling and short; but this, this one was clean and straight, like the sword that had pierced him. I flashed back to when he died, the way his eyes stayed on mine when the light left him, how his chest heaved before suddenly slowing to a stop, the way his mess of curls fell back when his head dropped, how his body lost all of the strength, and how his full lips parted with death. I'd never been more scared in my life, never been so angry in my life. His eyes had locked with mine until the end and the strength in them faded slower than his life had. I still have nightmares about the way the body that I loved had gone limp with death. The letter that he'd written me about finding Valentine rang in my head with the grief over and over and _over_. 'So I lied to you last night,' it read. 'I said I just wanted one night with you. But I want every night with you. And that's why I have to slip out of your window now, like a coward. Because if I had to tell you this to your fact, I couldn't make myself go.' And the part that still haunts me, still makes my chest tight with pain: 'I don't blame you if you hate me, I wish you would. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you.'

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied to her.

"You do, Clary. You do know what I'm talking about. I know about Jace, Luke knows."

"What about Jace?" I persisted.

"Valentine killed him. Stop this; I know what happened. I know that it still has more impact on you than anything else that happened during that war. I know that my coma never hurt you as much as what happened between you and Jace. I know what Valentine did to you, he hurt me just as well as he hurt you. He killed the one I love just like he killed the one that you love. The difference is that the man that I love didn't come back, I didn't get to see him again."

"What are you talking about, Jocelyn?" I asked. "Luke is alive."

"No, not Luke. He killed the Valentine that I fell in love with. And he killed me every time I had to look into those eyes. Every time he touched me, I couldn't feel the man I loved. I could only feel hate, hate for myself, hate for him, hate for my own child. But I stayed with him in hope that Valentine would come back to me, that the love I felt would come back to me. That's why you were born as far away from him as you were. That's why I ran away, because I knew that, after Jonathan, nothing could be normal again. So what do you want, Clary? Do you want me to apologize for taking you away from him? For lying to you about who you were, what you were? I'm not sorry, and I don't think I'll ever be sorry. Do not think that I ran for my own benefit. I left him for you, and only you. That's why every time I look at Luke, I fall more in love with him. Because he came for me, he looked for me, like the Valentine I fell for would have. And for that, I'll never apologize. So now you know where you came from. You came from love, hate, and a fear to run away. Tell me, where did Jace come from?"

I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. There was nothing I could say to that and I _couldn't breathe_. With nothing to say, no need to try to speak, I hung up the phone and placed it back in the cradle. Jace stared down at me. Without saying a word, I stepped away from him. My feet lifted slowly with each step, I wasn't controlling them anymore, nor was I trying to stop them. As I got closer to the living room, I picked it apart with my eyes. At the bottom of the stacks lay a different kind of box. A box I'd never looked through but always knew was there. I moved all of the boxes away in a hurry that surprised me. I ran my fingers over the metallic bird design on the top before undoing the leather fastening. I tore the box open and looked down into it at the assortment of pictures, letters, and things of Jace's father's. I reached in and pulled out a photo of Jace's parents. Celine was pregnant in the picture and her smile was unmatched by any I'd seen, except maybe those of Jace and mine. Stephen had one hand on Celine's stomach and one arm rested around her back. He looked like Jace, so much like Jace. All of him was there: the high cheek bones, the mop of golden curls, though Jace's were longer, the tall and muscular body type, and the same look of confidence in his eyes. Celine was small; she looked like she was thin before she got pregnant. The thing that I noticed about her were her eyes. She obviously gave Jace the golden eyes that stared at me as I sat here. I placed the picture gently on the floor next to me and picked through more. Multiple pictures of his parents mixed with the pictures of Amatis near the bottom, a hunting dagger that I'd almost cut my hand open on, letters scattered around, the family ring. I could tell from the letters that Stephen thought of Amatis how Jace thought of me. Once I'd hit the bottom of the box, I found one more picture. The picture had Jace's parents along with a horde of other curly haired blonds. They must be his extended family. Stephen had one arm around his wife and one on the shoulder of another woman. She was tall, blue eyes, rune-baring, and golden haired. Next to her was the man I could only assume to be her husband by the way her eyes stared at him with intense love. It must have been the most recent picture of them all, Celine looked about seven months pregnant and Stephen wasn't smiling sweetly like everyone else, but he wore a smirk of confidence and power, one I'd seen on Jace many times.

I looked up from the empty box and tuned my head back to look behind me. Jace sat on the couch and stared with a look of confusion and worry. "Are you okay?" He asked after a moment.

"I don't know," I whispered honestly. I got to my feet and walked over to him, stopping two steps in front of him. My arms dangled uselessly at my sides and I looked up into the eyes he got from his mother. He reached forward and hooked his fingers into the belt loops in my shorts. He tugged forward once and I fell into his chest, his arms automatically wrapping around me. I moved my legs to either side of him and pulled my head off of his shoulder. I tucked one side of my hair behind my ear and looked down at his lips. He had his lower lip caged between his teeth and his left hand came up to curl around my neck. I became very aware of every part of him that touched me and every part of me that touched him. The fingertips of his right hand were slowly making its way down my side. I leaned in about a centimeter, causing him to close the distance in half a second. My hands both went to his neck and pulled his face up to mine, effectively making him kiss harder. My hair fell around us like a curtain, shielding us from everything but ourselves. He made little noises in the back of his throat and his hand slid to the underside of my knee, tugging me closer to him. After that point, he couldn't seem to decide where to keep his hands. They slid over my shoulders, around my back, down my legs, on my hips. I caught his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled back slightly. This made him groan deep in his throat and pull me harder against his chest. I smiled against his mouth and both his hands went to my hair. His lips forced my lips open. I gasped at the first swipe of his tongue against mine. By now, my knees were in between the cushions on the top and bottom of the couch and my body was so tight against his that I could feel his heart pound and I could barely breathe against him.

"I love you so much," he whispered against the dip in my collarbone. "Do you know that?"

I nodded, my chin brushing his cheekbone, and turned my face against his head, sighing into his hair. He stopped kissing my neck and looked back up at me.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing's wrong."

"What did Jocelyn say?" He still sounded so worried.

"She rehashed the Valentine thing. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," he said, pushing fallen hair off of my face. "That's fine, we don't have to talk about it. I thought you just might want to."

"No, I don't." I laid my head on his shoulder and pressed my face into his neck. Conversation by that time was rendered unnecessary; there really was no point to speaking about anything. We were there, it was just us and the boxes, and the scattered possessions of Jace's father, and the place that we'd begun to call home. After a while, I looked into his eyes and the look that I saw in them was pure, unadulterated caring. It was very real and very present in his eyes, how much he cared. My phone buzzed, interrupting us. I looked down and pulled it out of my back pocket. I sighed and connected the call.

"It's time," Isabelle's voice rang through the speaker.

"Why don't you play Barbie with Rose?" I proposed, moving to get off of Jace's lap when his fingers wove through my belt loops and kept me against him.

Izzy barked something in my ear about how it was more fun to dress me because she likes a fight. I looked down at Jace with a playful and confused smile. I put my hands over his and removed them from my shorts. I stood and sat on the coffee table in front of him. He reached out and grabbed one of my crossed legs, pulling it so it was straight in front of him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my ankle.

"Iz, seriously, you don't have to," his lips reached the side of my calf muscle, I swallowed and shook my head, trying to focus on what I was saying, "do the whole dress up thing."

She continued her rant while Jace continued his way up my leg. He'd gotten to my lower thigh when I slapped at his shoulders and tried to pull my leg back. He responded by using his grip on my leg to pull himself off of the couch and bend over me, placing his lips opposite my phone on my neck. I swirled my hand into his curls and let my head fall back to give him more room.

"Clary, just get over here. I'm so sick of fighting you about this. You know it drives Jace insane when I make you all beautiful. I don't know what goes on between you two after, and I don't know if I want to, but it makes him crazy. And you know you love a crazy Jace," she said, thankfully oblivious to what was happening to me here and now.

"I think I'm perfectly capable of driving him crazy on my own, thank-you-very-much." Jace chuckled into my skin, causing me to slap his shoulder to making quiet.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't need my help, you're an independent woman, I get it. We don't need to rehash this. Just take a shower, get over here, and I'll make you all womanly. Deal?"

She was so damn stubborn. "Deal," I said before putting my hand over the microphone of my cell and turning my lips down to Jace's. He smiled and slid a hand to the side of my face, enslaving me in his grip.

Isabelle cheered and started to list things that she needed to get and needed to do before realizing that I had no real interest. She said some form of goodbye before I disconnected the call and pushed both hands into Jace's curls. His hands shot out on either side of me, pushing all of my belongings onto the floor before he laid me back on the table. One of his legs came up, knee balanced between mine with his other foot on the floor. His hands were up under my shirt and cupping my waist.

"I need to get," I said between kisses, "back to Isabelle."

"I think I like you here," he said, capturing my body in his arms.

"Mmm," I said, grabbing hold of his biceps, "I agree but you know she'll kill us both if I take more than twenty minutes to get there."

"Twenty minutes is a long time, baby."

"Yes, but I have to take a shower before I go and then get dressed. I don't have time to play." My grip tightened on his arms and I gasped when he bit my neck gently.

"Make time," he said.

I groaned and pushed at his chest, something that made him reluctantly move off of me.

Isabelle wasn't happy that I'd worn sweats to the Institute. It didn't really make sense that she was upset, she was only going to dress me up again. "Because," she'd said, exasperated, "it's the principle that makes the difference! You came in sweats, is that how you're going to dress for the rest of your life if I don't dress you?"

"Not all of the time."

"Sure," she said, plopping me down on the chair at the vanity. I turned around to watch her near trip over the piles of belongings. At least they were a bit organized. Piles of discarded jeans were to one side of the gigantic bed, shirts and dresses to another, shoes by the closet, and a rather unwelcomed smaller pile of bras and panties by the bathroom.

"Iz, when is the last time you cleaned this room?" I called to her as the clothes that she threw flew through the closet door.

"What?" She yelled back, clothes momentarily stopping.

"When did you last clean your room?"

She paused for a moment. "I'm not sure."

"And you let Simon in here?"

"Of course." She stuck her head outside of the door. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You have your underwear all over the place."

"And?"

I shuttered at that, not wanting to hear about her and Simon's sex life. "Never mind."

"Oh, _perfect_!" She exclaimed. She near tripped over the clothes she'd just thrown. "This dress is perfect for you! Perfect, perfect, _perfect_!"

"What if, because I need room to move, I didn't wear a dress?"

"I wasn't going to put you in a dress," she said.

"You-what?"

She held up intimidating leather shorts, a floral corset, thigh-high black stockings, and a cropped leather jacket.

"Leather shorts?"

"They're cloth on the inside, promise. They're comfortable enough for fighting, you could fight in them all day and you and Jace could," she whistled, "all night. You wouldn't feel a difference from your usual night."

"Izzy, I think you have highly misinterpreted our lives."

"Well, I know you two are doing the dirty."

"And how do you think you know that?" I asked.

"I saw you two on your birthday. You were trying to take his pants off! Of course you started sleeping with each other."

"We aren't."

"Sure," she laughed.

"We're waiting until the wedding night."

"Just change, will ya?" She tossed the clothes at me. I stripped down and started to roll the stockings up my legs when I looked up at Izzy. She was watching me with a crease between her eyebrows while she fiddled with the cord of her warming flat iron.

"What?" I asked.

"You're not pregnant or anything, are you?"

"W-what?"

"Don't take it the wrong way! You look skinny as hell. But, are you?"

"Of course not, I told you that we weren't sleeping together. Why did you think that?"

"Well," she looked down at the twisting cord in her hand, "you're, like, eighteen and you and Jace are engaged. I thought, you know, because of Jace…"

"Not pregnant."

"Okay, good," she said, sighing a breath of relief.

"What do you mean 'good'?" I asked.

"Do you know how hard it would have been to find a wedding dress that makes you look good if your stomach is ballooned to the size of a fighter jet?"

"That's the reason you were worried?"

She shrugged, seeming to think it was a perfectly logical excuse to be concerned.

"You do realize that I'll be pregnant eventually and you won't be able to dress me up like this anymore, right?" I asked, tugging at the leather shorts. She was right; they were surprisingly comfortable.

A look of excitement flashed through her blue eyes and she scurried over to sit on the loveseat next to me. "Have you two talked about kids yet?"

"Of course we have," I said, pulling the corset on.

"And?" She prompted.

"And what?"

"When is Isabelle junior going to be brought into this world?"

"Isabelle junior?" I laughed.

"Well I _am_ the aunt and the mother's best friend! What else would you name her?"

"It could be a boy, you know."

"Yes, Simon junior. Of course I know that."

I rolled my eyes and laughed at her. "Simon or Isabelle? Both great names but I'm not sure if they'll be the final product."

"When are you two planning to make little Shadowhunters?"

"Don't you think Jace should see what a baby looks like before he becomes a father?" I asked. She got up from the chair and spun me around to the vanity, taking my hair in her hands.

"He's been around babies before."

"When?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure he has," she said. "It's not like he could ever be a bad father, you've seen him with Max."

"Yeah and Max is eleven. Haven't you noticed that Jace usually tries to stay away from everyone younger than fourteen, other than Max?"

"Well, does he, you know, _want_ kids?"

"Yeah, he does. He's the one who brought it up in the first place."

"So, aren't you happy?" She asked, pulling the flat iron through my hair.

"More than. But I'm not sure if I want to just pop a baby out as a teenager. I just never pictured myself starting a family so soon. But I know I'll change my mind."

"I look forward to the day when you realize how stupid it is waiting for what you want. If you want something, and it's just being offered to you, you should take it. Just reach out and take it."

Most of the getting ready process was silent from then, aside from meaningless sentences every once in a while. And really, what wasn't silent about meaningless conversation. If you won't remember a conversation, things should be called silent, if you don't listen to what someone's saying, things should be called silent. That's how silence should work. And there weren't many words between us as we got ready, really. Less conversation than one would imagine taking place between two best friends. But nothing really needed to be said, so my definition of silence took place. I became more anxious as she drew runes around on my stomach and back. What was I about to do? Was it one kill or twenty? If we saved one girl's life, how many have we been too late for? If the demon knew I was a Shadowhunter how long did I have to kill it? If Jace saw me fighting how much would it hurt him? If I saw Jace hurt, how would it hurt me? What if I'm not strong or trained enough? What if I get hurt? What if someone else gets hurt? I could handle this, right? Yes, yes I can handle it. I'm Clarissa Fray: Shadowhunter, not Clarissa Fray: scared to be more than a Mundane. I've got this in the bag. But what if I don't?

"Everything's going to be fine," Izzy said, staring at the rune that she traced over my lower abdomen. She stood and tugged the zipper on my corset back in place.

"I didn't say it wouldn't be."

"Are you not thinking about it?"

"No," I lied.

"All right, then." She went back into her closet and threw a pair of heeled boots at me. I caught them before they hit the floor. After a moment, she called out to me. "Put those on," she said. She stepped out of the closet, fixing an earring before tugging the bun out of her hair. Voluminous black curls cascaded down her back, covering the surely open back of her short and tight dress. She wore her, as she called them, 'ass-kicking boots': six inch heels, a dagger hidden in the inside, hugging tight against her calves, and surely covering fresh runes. "Tonight's going to be so badass!" She said. I looked at myself in her wall-length mirror. Oh Angel, tonight was going to be more than badass.

"You almost done?" I asked.

"Almost, almost," she smiled. That gave me half an hour, minimum.

"Hurry yourself," I said. I zipped the side of the heels up; they ended just above my ankle, and stood four inches higher than usual. "I'll be—"

"Don't you dare screw up all of that work that I did on your makeup! Keep your face off of Jace's!" She said, squirting some kind of perfume at me. My lungs protested at the flowery scent. I coughed into my arm. "Don't be a baby, Clary."

"I'll be… not here."

"I swear to the Angel, if your makeup is smudged even a little bit, I will take parts off of Jace that are very necessary for the situation we talked about earlier."

"Calm yourself," I said, walking to the door.

"If you want children, you had best keep your hands off of him."

"Don't threaten his manhood, you know it's what makes him so confident."

"I don't think I know as much as you do," she said, winking.

"I'm going to leave now… you're kind of scaring me."

"Be afraid," she narrowed her eyes, "be very afraid."

I shook my head and walked out into the hall. It didn't take much work to find Jace in the training room. I opened the door quietly and shut it behind me. His back was facing the door I pressed myself up against and he was shirtless, tape covering his knuckles as they beat into the punching bag. The muscles in his back tensed, the chain objected to the hits he kept throwing. He made noises with every hit, like he was hurting himself while trying to pulverize the bag. So I waited, until he couldn't hit anymore. It sounded easier than it was, he didn't stop until the chain broke. His chest heaved and he fisted at his hair, clenching and unclenching. I pushed off the wall and walked forward, my heels making quiet clacks on the hard wood. When I'd gotten to him, I reached out and touched my fingertips to his shoulder blade. He jumped when I touched him but didn't say anything and he didn't look at me. I put my forehead on his back, just at the base of his neck. He dropped his hands from his hair and wrapped his arms behind his back, pressing me into him.

"Talk to me, Jace," I begged. "Tell me why this is bothering you. Please."

"I don't want to talk about this again, Clare. I just want you to promise me that you won't be scared away from me after tonight."

"You're acting like I've never seen you fight before."

He turned around and grabbed me harder, lifting me off the floor. "Angel, if a demon even _looks_ at you…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "I'd have to rip its head off. And I am saying literally, I don't think I'd be able to let it die easy. I don't even want to think…"

"You don't think I know what that's like, to want to break every bone in a demon's body for even looking at you? I know that you think fighting is fun but I can't even imagine what I'd do if you were hurt. And now that I'm training and watching you first hand do this again… The war was hell, pure hell, but now that I'm allowed to love you, allowed to keep you safe, it's so different."

"Seeing you in the war was the single worst thing in my life. And every time I see you in danger, it just gets worse."

"Promise me you'll do everything in your power not to leave me again," I said, touching the scar over his heart that Valentine had forever imprinted. He nodded, swallowing hard.

"Promise me that you'll do the same," he begged.

I looked up in his eyes, trapping them in mine. And I said very, very seriously: "I promise on everything in me that I will try my damnedest to come back to you. Every time." His breath caught and he looked back at me with unclouded eyes, every bit of his love shining bright and clear. I crushed my lips on his almost painfully. One hand went to the back of my neck, keeping my face pressed up against his. I got that feeling that he was scared that I was going to disappear. I knew that feeling all too well and I thought, hoped, that we'd never feel that way again, especially after he'd proposed. I was taken back to the first kiss in the greenhouse, how he seemed scared to touch me, like I'd break and he'd have nothing to remember me by except that moment. How I had to push myself harder against him to show him that I wasn't glass and I wasn't going to break. It'd been a lie, I did break; I broke a million times over. After we were told that loving each other was a hideous sin, like it was cosmically wrong and disgusting, I broke every time I saw him, every time he looked at me and turned away just as fast. When I saw him with Aline, I thought I broke beyond repair, I felt every part of me shatter. And shattering was the best thing that could happen to me, maybe not then, but now. Shattering was important because it proved to me, the stubborn girl that I was, that I loved him beyond everything I'd ever known. And if it hadn't grown more and more every damn time I looked into those gold eyes…

I didn't want it to end when he set me back down and detached his lips from mine, keeping his forehead to my own. "Clarissa Marie Fray," he whispered, drawing in a shaky breath and blowing it out in a fast huff, "I love you."

"Jace, Angel, I love you too." He smiled as the words fell off of my lips. He pushed my hair behind my ear on one side and pressed his lips to mine again in a soft, close-mouthed kiss. I put my hands up on his neck and kissed him back, trying with everything I had not to cry and ruin Izzy's makeup.

"I should get dressed," he said, not moving.

"I think shirtless is a good look for you," I said, and not for the first time, I'm sure.

"As much as I agree, Isabelle will kill me."

"She's already threatened your manhood once today, maybe getting dressed is a good idea."

He smiled again and moved his hands from my hair to my wrists, my hands were still at his neck. He removed my hands from him and took one step back. He looked me up and down ever so slowly. "Are—are those leather shorts?" He asked, eyebrows rising. I blushed in response. "Damn it," he closed his eyes and put one hand on his forehead, "why did I promise to wait until the wedding night?" I blushed deeper. "There's no way that I couldn't seduce you if I weren't such a good guy."

"Oh yes," I whispered sarcastically and mostly to myself, "you're the epitome of good guys." He chuckled and started to walk away. I ran up behind him and reached out for his hand.

"You know that I'm just going to change, right?" He asked, threading his fingers in between mine.

"Yeah, but I don't have anything to do. Are you uncomfortable with me seeing your body?" I teased.

"I can tell you with absolute certainty that no, I am not uncomfortable with you seeing my bronzed beauty."

"That's what I thought," I said. When he opened the door, he told me that he was going to have a shower and he'd be right out. I had the strange inclination to follow him and watch, which was probably because he, Izzy, and Magnus were rubbing off on me. So instead, I went to his bed and remade its neglected covers. The last time he had to make his bed was probably a month ago. I can't even remember the last time I slept alone, and the strange thing was that I didn't care that I was never alone. I never want to be alone, that was the thing, because not being by him made me uncomfortable, pretty simple and also pretty sad. After I made his white bed, I sat at the end of the bed and smoothed out the comforter under my hands. I looked up at Jace when he got out of the bathroom. He was in only a white towel again, which was closed haphazardly by the fist that clutched it. Seeing him like this got me every damn time. He looked up at me, moving his hair out of his eyes. I tweaked my finger at him and bit my lip. He tucked the towel tighter around his waist and walked forward, his bare feet padding softly against the white carpet. He leaned down over me, hands braced on the mattress.

He moved down, putting his lips on my ear and said, in a very low and husky voice, "What do you want, baby?" He looked at me with dark eyes and moved back in to take my earlobe between his teeth. I wrapped my hands around his upper arms.

"You're going to _kill_ me with that sexy talk one day." He smiled and pushed me back on the bed, going down with me. His hand slipped up my thigh and fingered the edge of my shorts. "Jace, Isabelle will kill us both if you mess anything up."

"She should know that dressing you like this and telling me not to touch is going to make me want to break the rules even more than usual."

"She threatened to remove your- you know," I said, looking down at his towel and raising my eyebrows twice.

"Did she? Well, I think that we should put it to use while I still can."

I shot my eyes open wide and looked back up at him, his wet hair dripping on the white comforter under us. "Isabelle is going to expect us out any second and you're naked."

"I'm wearing a towel," he said.

"Yeah but that's still naked."

"If it makes you feel better, you're naked under those clothes too."

"Jace," I said, "put some clothes on."

"Come on," he said, rolling us over so that I was on top of him. His skin was still slightly damp, but not sticky like sweat, he felt fresh and soft. I laid my face down on his neck and closed m eyes. Even this late, it felt like sunshine was bursting through the room. Maybe it was the Shadowhunter's sunshine smell, in fact, I was willing to bet that it was. I straightened my elbows and hovered over him.

"You should get dressed now," I said. "We can do this later."

"You wore those shorts just to tease me, didn't you?" He rolled me off him and got up.

"You're lucky she didn't put me in a garter belt." He turned around from the dresser with wide eyes. "Yeah, I did just say garter belt. How's that picture for you?"

He raised his left eyebrow and smirked at me. "When did you get so dirty?"

"You can file your complaints later."

"You better leave the room before I can't handle myself anymore," he warned. "Also, if you want to shield your eyes from the blindingly humbling beauty that is my naked body, I suggest you either leave or look away."

"Really, beca—" I said, looking up at him and seeing him start to undo his towel. "Oh my." I turned around before I saw anything, though my eyes begged me not to. I sat with my legs crossed, and stared at the wall over his bed. "So, has Magnus scheduled the date for any wedding stuff that you know about?" I asked.

"He thinks that he's going to get me to go shopping for a tux or something all weekend," He said. I heard a lot rustling of drawers and fabric.

"_All_ weekend?"

"That's what he told me."

"Can't we postpone the tux shopping?" I asked.

"I'll try but you know how Magnus gets."

"He hasn't even bothered me about the wedding dress yet."

And suddenly, his lips were at my ear. "I can't wait to see you in that wedding dress."

"Can I look at you now, or is your blindingly beautiful naked body going to turn me into some kind of hormonally saturated fangirl?"

"Well, you could, but I'm about to make you close your eyes," he said, hand winding in my hair and gently turning it up and to the side. His lips made forceful contact with mine, swallowing my gasp. His head was above mine, giving us an upside-down feeling kiss, his bottom lip between mine and my bottom lip between his. His tongue brushed against my mouth, begging for permission to enter. I opened my mouth as fast as I could, more than giving him consent.

"Open the damn door!" Izzy's voice, accompanied by several hard knocks, sounded. Jace ignored her, just kissed me more forcefully. I gripped at him with everything I had in me. "I swear on every pair of heels that I have, I will unlock this door with a rune. And Jace, if I find that you have your tongue in poor Clary's mouth, I will literally whip you."

"Isabelle, get the hell away from us," Jace yelled before crushing my lips again.

"We're going hunting! I expect both of you to look perfect and out in this hallway in thirty damn seconds!"

"Jace," I said in between kisses, "we should—should stop."

"Not a chance, baby."

"I have absolutely no doubt that she _will_ kick that door down with her ten foot tall heels." He kissed me hard one more time and let go of every part of me that he was touching. I shot up off the bed and hurried to the mirror. Fixing the smudged lip products and the watered down eyeliner, I went back out and grabbed his hand.

"Isabelle, holster any weapons, we're opening the door," Jace called. He did as he said he would and raised his hands, including the one twined with mine. "I don't have any artillery in my hands."

"Oh, you're so clever," Izzy said. "Let's go." She strutted off, arms flowing as she walked. She looked like she was damn ready for a fight.

"She's so overly dramatic," Jace whispered, smirking.

"Shh," I said. He chuckled softly and started walking after Izzy.

"You know," he said, "that Spiderman style kiss, much better than I always pictured it to be."

"You've never kissed anyone upside down like that before? I have a hard time believing that."

"Nope."

"Glad to be your first, hope I didn't disappoint," I said.

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I hope I don't disappoint you."

"What do you—oh," I said, blushing when I realized what he was talking about. I looked down at our feet and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yeah," he said, looking up and away from me. He stuck his hands in his pockets and balled them into fists. He put his walls up again, like he didn't mean to have said that out loud, and started to grind his teeth.

"Jace," I said.

He didn't respond.

"Hey," I said in the softest voice I could. When he looked up, I smiled at him. "You won't, I promise you won't."

"You don't know that."

I walked in front of him and stopped him from walking, looking up in his eyes. I grabbed his face to get him to look at me. "You know I love you, right?" He nodded. "Do you love me?" He nodded again. "So everything will be fine. You'll be fine, I'll be fine, _it'll_ be fine. I won't be disappointed because I love you. So don't be worried, okay?"

"Okay," he said, nodding.

"Okay," I smiled. "Now let's go kick some demon ass." He smiled and leaned down to kiss me quickly.

Magnus was already at the elevator, hand-in-hand with Alec. Rose was pacing there too. Izzy had her foot braced with on the wall.

"Well, didn't you two take your damn _sweet_ time getting here?" Rose asked, slamming her fist into the call button. The elevator screeched up and everyone filed in.

The line for Pandemonium was larger than usual, every time we went it seemed to get larger. The strobe lights and music assaulted my senses, accompanied by the ever-present stench of sweat and alcohol. Some guy walked up on stage, turning on the microphone. He announced the band and walked off to the left. Every stage light came on with the first blasting shred of the guitar, before turning off again. Green laser lights started spinning, throwing the room into some eerie kind of flashing. I looked through the crowd for a moment, searching for something, anything, that would be a threat. When I didn't see one, I went over to the bar, Jace on my heels.

I pulled him down so my lips were at his ear, trying to blend in with the sex-crazed dancers. "Do you see anyone?" I asked.

"Not yet, they'll come," he said, grasping the bar grimly with one hand. I turned my head back and called for the bartender. When she came over, Jace and I ordered. I scanned the crowd again, biting my lip in frustration. "They'll come," Jace repeated. The bartender came back with our drinks and looked at Jace, nodding and throwing her eyes at the throng of dancers. She locked eyes with him again and nodded to the left. She mouthed the word 'there' at him and turned back to the awaiting costumers.

I immediately looked to where she'd indicated and saw a man with jet-black hair staring at us. I curled my lips back into a seductive smile at it. It smiled back and looked at Jace, who was still facing me. He knew that I was looking at the demon and he was clenching his jaw. I took a swig of my drink and touched Jace's chest, shoving him like I didn't want him. He knew that this was just so the demon could think that I wanted it instead of Jace, but that didn't make him look like he wanted to choke the damn thing any less. I made my way over to the thing while Jace was surely looking like it just cock-blocked him. We'd planned for this, and now that it was happening, I had absolutely nothing but confidence. I made my way over to it and smiled up, gnawing on my lower lip like I was trying to keep myself from jumping on the demon. It licked its lips and shoved the jet-black, eye-length, shaggy hair from its face.

"Hi there," it purred.

"You wanna dance?" I asked.

"I wanna do _everything_ with you."

"Is that so?" I pretended to be turned on by that. Really, the only way that I could was by pretending that it was Jace saying it.

"You don't have a clue." It grabbed my hand and led me to the packed dance floor. I imitated wanting to be close to it and danced just as secure as it wanted me to. After about three songs, it told me to follow it. I nodded knowingly and trailed behind it as it led me through the back door to the alleyway. It was a pretty large alley, about fifteen feet in width, and the tall buildings on either side had rickety and rusty fire escapes coming halfway down before the ladders stopped. There were poles coming off in odd places made to support awnings, dumpsters on the outside of padlocked doors, smoke and steam billowing out of subway grates and pipes coming out of buildings, with a small amount of yellow light spewing lanterns, most of which were broken and blown out. Litter scattered the revoltingly dirty ground, keeping company with the glass and cigarette butts. Various tags and words were graffitied on the walls of the two basements. Music drifted from the club and the restaurant that was on the bottom of the apartments next to Pandemonium. The lines to get into both buildings were on the other side of them, leaving the alley and everything near it deserted.

The demon stared at me with its dark gray eyes, circling me where I stood in the middle of the alley. I watched it over my shoulder, smiling like I was getting ready to do anything it wanted.

"Aren't you beautiful?" It asked, breath buzzing over my neck and causing goose bumps to rise from disgust.

"I could say the same about you, baby," I purred.

It chuckled lowly and continued its circling. It looked like a shark monitoring for its prey. As if I'd be prey for its little game. How any mundane could fall for this, I didn't know. But I sure wasn't going to be the pretty little kill. I only needed to play victim until the rest of them got out here. So I egged it on.

"Why are you circling, baby? I'll show you everything you want to see, all you have to do is ask."

It laughed again, deep and threatening laughs. "Did you hear that?" It called loudly. "Our little snack is a feisty one." I heard more laughs and felt icy stabs deep in the pit of my stomach. More demons walked out. I counted them quickly in my head, thirteen, more than double the amount on my team of fighters. They all stared at me like I was some kind of personal choice of food. I was worried and, as any mundane would, I made myself look as scared as I could. I raised my heart and breathing rate, as Jace taught me to do in the first two days of training. A few more cackles rose from some of them. The original demon was at my ear again, laughing and moving my straight red hair off of my neck.

"You still want to play?" It whispered. "You don't mind if a few of my friends join in, do you?"

"What's going on?" I pretended to be confused.

"Midnight snack," it said. I could see him out of the corner of my eyes. At that moment, smelling its rotten breath, I heard something. A door was kicked open and out came Jace. Behind that golden fighter was the rest of the group. He saw the demon's hands on me and had a look of pure rage glint in his eyes. The demon, obviously caught off guard, dropped every contact it had on me. I watched Jace flash his eyes over every demon in less than a second, counting them, when he was done, he looked back at me. The protective rage covered his eyes again and he had to swallow back the reaction I knew he wanted to use: to rip every head off every demon there for wanting to even look at me. I stared harder into his eyes and made him focus on me. With an almost imperceptible nod from him, I moved my center of attention back to the demon. I took a breath, feeling its arm go around my neck and the other around my arms. When its grip tightened, I lifted my foot, kicking it into its shin and shoved it down to crush its foot with all of the strength I could put into it. It cried out and let go. I turned around, throwing a punch square into its jaw. It flew back into the wall and I felt pain shoot up my arm, like I'd just hit a cement wall. The other demons stared to move in towards me and I did a flawless back flip, landing in a crouch. They stopped in their tracks and turned around to see me. When one of them looked back to see what I assumed to be their leader, it was met with Jace's wrath-consumed face.  
"Hi there," he said in his deep and angry voice. Before the demon could even look scared, Jace had thrown his fist into its stomach and grabbed its shoulder. It grunted in pain and Jace smiled, tightening his grip on its shoulder and flipping it, bringing it down on the ground harder and faster than I would have thought possible.

Before I had time to see everyone else spring into action, I felt searing pain in my arm. I was yanked around and towards a green haired demon. I was about to kick it back when it threw me hard against the adjacent building. I shook my head and gritted my teeth, shoving my elbow into the pressure point between its shoulder and neck. It fell to its knees and kicked out at me, landing me on my back, glass shearing through the jacket. It came on top of me, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me harder back.

"That all you got, sweetheart?" I taunted. I reached down to my thigh and whipped out the dagger faster than I would have thought possible. I grabbed its right forearm and stabbed the knife into its underarm, dislocating the shoulder and rendering the arm basically unusable. The ichor splashed out and hit my collarbone, scorching it. I kicked it off of me as it howled in pain. Flipping back onto my feet, I charged at the demon that was cornering Alec. I hit it full on in the side, sending it against the wall with a crippling force. It wiped at its mouth before launching its body at me. I flipped out of the way and jumped unintentionally next to Jace. He was fighting two demons with a smile and two seraph blades.

"Clare," he said, setting the seraph blade in my hand. "You've got this." He sprang at one of the demons that he was fighting and landed with his feet on its shoulders. They would have tumbled together if he didn't stab the demon through where the neck met the shoulders the second that his feet planted themselves on its body. The demon let out a strangled whimper before disappearing. Jace landed on his feet in a crouch and smiled at the victory. He turned his attention back to the other demon and sprang at him too, spinning in the air. My first impression of him was more accurate than I'd thought; he was a damn lion when he fought.

I turned my head and saw a demon charge toward me. I felt another's presence behind me. I had to make a split decision, jump or hit both at the same time. I jumped up and grabbed the pole that was ten feet above the ground. I shouted the name of the seraph blade and swung in a circle on the rod. I hit the back of one of the demons heads when I jumped off of the pole. I grabbed its neck and pulled backwards, shoving the blade into its outstretched spine. It screamed in agony before disappearing. I became aware of all of the rest of them, and with that came the awareness of all of my friends. Jace was battling three with a smirk, Rose was trying to stab at a much larger one, Izzy had her whip flinging at the one whose arm I'd dislocated, Alec was lying in the shadows unconscious, and Magnus was over him and trying to wake him up. I couldn't do anything for Alec and Magnus but worry. I had to focus on what I could do. Jace, though it literally chilled me to the bone to not be able to help him, was doing fine. Izzy was in some trouble, but not so much that she couldn't handle it. Rose was by far the most needy at this point. The demon had her locked up against the building, her feet dangling about a yard, her knife flying down at him and missing repeatedly.

When I was about to run and break the demon's teeth out of its thick skull, I saw the one that started all of this walk out of the shadows. Its eyes burned with intensity as it stared at me.

It pointed at me and caught the attention of all of the demons that weren't fighting. "Get the girl from the Seraph Set," he ordered. Two of the demons fighting Jace stopped and turned to look at me. After they stopped, the other seven useless pawns gawked at me. I backed up and touched the hilt of the hunting dagger that Jace had gotten me for my birthday. At first I was intimidated and even scared. I mean eight demons were just about to come at me and try to kill me. But the half-second long fear washed out and was replaced with clouded vision. Everything around me slowed a thousand times slower, and every color blended and clouded in my eyes before black suddenly swallowed me. With that black came a burning symbol: gold and swirling in interlocking loops, circles, and knots. It took me a moment to understand that I was creating a new rune. It must have been sparked by the fear that had briefly swallowed me mixed with the adrenaline that rushed through me faster than my blood. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd launched myself into the air and caught the railing to the old fire escape. I flipped over the rusted metal and addressed briefly in my mind that I'd just jumped approximately seventeen feet, but it didn't seem to be important at the moment. I reached into my inside jacket pocket and tore the stele out of the loop that held it. I ripped my stocking down and drew the rune with shocking speed onto my calf. I then looked down as the demons started to notice that I'd all but disappeared before them. I grabbed the railing again, fixed the stocking, and jumped back over it. Spiraling in the air and landing in a crouch, time started to come back to a normal speed. I heard a demon scream and saw Jace twist a knife into the wound that it sheared through the demon's chest. As he withdrew the knife, that demon, too, disappeared. I registered the wince that Jace surrendered as he stood, grabbing at his chest where his rib must have broken. I looked over to see Izzy fly across the alley and hit the wall. With a deafening crack, I heard her one bone of her left forearm split in two. She whimpered before passing out, probably from the blow to the head that the wall had dealt her. The demon that had Rose in his grasp must have been having fun because he was toying with her, letting her kick out at him uselessly.

I focused on all of the demons that were in front of me. The eight that there were became seven as Jace grabbed one by the shoulder and tore it away from the crowd. I felt the rune pulse as they stared at me, confused about how I appeared to have vanished before. The demon on Rose threw her to the other wall and charged forward. She was bruised and looked to be in more pain than I'd seen anyone today in. I didn't know why the demon was trying to hurt her, not kill her. The demon that Jace was fighting tried to get a punch into Jace's jaw. Jace bent and grabbed the demon's ankle, flipping it and making it hit the ground with a loud crack as the pavement gave way under it. Rose looked like she had several things broken or sprained as she was lying there, making a tremendous effort to keep breathing. Magnus stopped focusing his attention on Alec and looked up as the demon made its slow way to Rose's broken down and seemingly comatose shape. He pointed a tired finger at the demon, sending a tremendous amount of red lightning-bolt-shaped magic at him. The demon collapsed to the ground, convulsing before disappearing. Magnus blew a sigh of relief as he collapsed on Alec's unmoving form. This left Jace, me, the eight demons that were still breathing, and the leader demon that lounged against the graffiti on Pandemonium's wall. The demon on Jace seemed to be having the upper hand due to Jace's concern for me. He kept looking over at me, like he thought that every time would be the last.

The demons in front of me still didn't move. "Come on," I said to them. "Come at me."

A few of them smiled before the first two charged. I kicked out at them, connecting my foot to one's chest and blowing it back to the crowd. It flew back at me, accompanied by two others. I was about to stab one through the chest when I heard a sound that made me freeze completely.

It was Jace. He was screaming in pain. His knife was two feet away from him. He looked like he was having trouble breathing. The demon he had been fighting joined the pack that charged at me. There were now eight coming at me at one time. In my lapse of focus, they had pinned me up against a wall, two feet off the ground. One demon had both hands on my left arm, another set on my right. And Jace looked at me, with those damn golden eyes. He looked furious, furious and afraid. Deathly afraid. My chest heaved with painful breaths. And I looked into the eyes of the leader as it made its way to me.

"And the famous Clarissa Morgenstern falls. I never thought that it would be so easy to take the Seraph Set. Master will be very happy," it said. The grips on my arms tightened, scraping them against the brick they were pushed into. "When you're done with her, take care of the unconscious Herondale. This is the day that the Seraph girl falls." It started to walk away but stopped and turned when it saw the light. Its eyes grew very wide and its jaw fell slack. It stared with certain disbelief as I uncurled my fists to make the light shine brighter.

"Wrong," I said. I spread my fingers as wide as they could go, unleashing the circles of blue light that was in the middle of my palms. I looked the leader straight in the eyes and locked the joints in my fingers like talons. Fire shot with more force than anything had that night. My hands didn't feel warm as they shot the fire out of my palms like water out of a faucet on full blast. I screamed with effort to keep the fire going faster and pressed my eyes shut as hard as I could. When I opened my eyes, every demon was gone, dead, without a sound. I was on my feet, circles of light still on my palms, waiting for the next demand to spray flames. I stared at the blue light for a moment before shaking my hands once, extinguishing the light. When I looked up, I saw Jace writhing in pain, eyes still looking at me, which must have taken more effort than it should have.

I ran to him as fast as I could push my exhausted legs. "What's wrong?" I asked, panicked. "Where does it hurt?"

He opened his mouth and his voice was quieter than I'd ever seen. "Ribs, right leg," he said. "Iratze, please, iratze." He continued to wince as I had to cut his shirt off of his frame. As the fabric fell away, I saw the black, blue, and bloody spots on his torso. One of the broken tips of his rib had pushed through his lower chest. I tried not to gag and took out my stele. "How bad?" He asked, wincing and breathing shallowly.

"It could be worse," I said, pressing the stele to the bloody skin. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and gripped at the side of my jacket as I traced the iratze on and his bone went back down in his body, the flesh mending and blending itself back together. I then noticed the pain in my arms. They were bruised and the skin was partly rubbed away, causing it to bleed in spread out places. I went down and gently pulled up the loose right leg of Jace's jeans, soaking parts of them with my own blood. I saw how swollen and bruised it was. It had to be badly broken. I put an iratze there, and when it didn't fully mend everything, I drew another. I stared at his face as the runes worked on him. I pushed the sweaty hair off of his face and wiped the blood off of his lip with my thumb. He stopped wincing and looked up at me. I shushed him when he tried to speak, telling him that I had to fix the others and that he should rest. I got up and looked at poor Izzy. I could feel the blood drip down my arms and off my fingertips as I made my way over to her. She was lying crumpled and broken against the wall. I moved her from it and examined her. Her arm was obviously broken, I'd heard the pop myself, and she had blood coming from her head, soaking and matting her black hair. I knew head wounds bled a great deal but this, this was _a lot_. I winced at the thought of the migraine she'd have later. I moved her hair from her neck and put an iratze there, doing the same to her arm.

Jace could get up then, and he walked over to me. I knew he was going to ask about the hand-light thing. I mean, I'd want to know how my fiancée just started spouting flames out of her hands. It made sense. But right now, with everything that just happened, I didn't have time to explain. He went over and rolled Magnus off of Alec's unmoving shape. I walked over to the three boys and stared as Jace pulled Alec's head onto his legs, examining his parabatai's body for where the injury was. After tracing an iratze on Alec's palm, hoping that it would help wherever the boy was hurt, he looked up at me.

"What do we do about Magnus?" He asked in a monotone voice, like he didn't know what else to say, what else to do. I looked up into the familiar gold eyes before looking at my palms. They glowed slightly, suggesting that I do exactly what I knew I could do to help him. I moved Magnus so that he was lying with his legs shoulder width apart and his arms away from his torso. I told Jace to unbutton his shirt and stand. As I stared down at my hands, they glowed for a moment again. I shook them once, eliciting a heavy shine from the circles. I turned my back to Jace and Magnus, putting my hands parallel to the ground, and flexed my arms like I thought I should. Nothing happened. So I squatted, placed them flush against the pavement, leaned forward on them, and flexed again. A shock flowed through my arms and made the pavement glow for a moment. I smiled, knowing exactly what I had to do.

I turned around and put my hands on Magnus' bare chest. Leaning forward and pushing down slightly, I flexed my arms and saw light flow between my fingers. His back arched involuntarily, and blue light flowed across his skin like a shockwave. His green cat eyes flew open and he stared up at me curiously.

"What happened?" He asked, oblivious.

"I woke you up."

"First portals, now this? You're stealing all of the fun things that only warlocks can do!" He said.

"Clary," Jace said seriously, looking me in the eyes, "what did that rune do?"

"I think I just showed you." I put my hands up, showing the both of them the light that poured out of them. Jace stepped over Magnus and crouched down next to me, taking my hands and laying them open in his. He moved his left hand over my right slowly, studying the hand I was sure he already had memorized. He stopped on the outskirt of the light circle, looking in my eyes.

"You can touch them," I whispered, looking at the circles briefly, "at least, I think you can."

He nodded and brushed his fingertips over the light. I didn't notice a difference in his touch; it felt like normal.

He looked up puzzled. "Nothing's different. It just feels like your hand."

"That would be because," Magnus said, "it is her hand. The light hasn't changed anything. In fact, I'd be surprised if it were really there, it could just be a perception of the rune."

"But I drew this on my leg," I said, showing him the pattern.

He stared at it with concentrated interest. He looked up at me. "You saw this during the fight?"

I nodded, feeling Jace's fingers trace the rune.

"What did you touch when you saw it?" Magnus asked very slowly, like he was asking a question that would change the meaning of his life forever.

I went back over the fight, trying to remember. Then it hit me. "The hunting dagger that Jace got me for my birthday."

Magnus looked at me very seriously. "Are you absolutely sure?" He asked.

I nodded, worrying about what he was so worked up about.

He looked at Jace and said, "Where did that dagger come from?"

"I don't know, Idris? They told me it was my mother's. They found it somewhere," he said, looking confused.

"Who is they?" Magnus asked.

"My parents' old friends. They gave it to Amatis recently and she told me about it when I spoke to her about Clary's birthday."

"This is very, very important, Jace, you have to understand and think exceptionally hard about this." Jace nodded. "Okay," Magnus said, "Who had the dagger before Amatis?"

Jace furrowed his brows and moved his eyes around the pavement, like he thought the answer was encased in it. He looked up at Magnus, worried. "I have no idea. She didn't tell me that."

Magnus looked between us nervously before glancing at the fading rune on my leg. "Can you do anything else with that?" He nodded to the light in my hands.

"I don't know, maybe? I can't do anything unless the idea comes to mind," I said.

"Can you extinguish them?" He asked. I nodded and shook my hands once, making the light flicker before going out, like a candle. "Perfect," he said. We heard a pain-filled whimper and looked behind us. Rose was black, blue, and dripping slightly with blood. "I'll get her," Magnus said. "Jace, take care of Clary's arms, they're raw and they're making her lose a lot of blood."

Jace nodded and watched Magnus walk over to Rose's limp body. He took my stele off the ground and pressed it to my upper arm where there wasn't any torn skin or blood. He put an iratze on both of my arms and watched the skin rope itself back together, repairing it all without trouble. He looked up into my eyes with such a worried look that it made my breath catch.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

He leaned forward and hugged me with everything he had in him. I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed him in, something I had worried that I wouldn't be able to do again during that fight. "I'm so sorry," he breathed into my hair.

"About what?" I asked.

"If I hadn't come to that damned coffee shop that day when Erik was reading his poetry, you wouldn't have almost died tonight. All of this was my fault and I can't bring myself to feel bad about finding you."

I pulled back, put my hands on either side of his face, and looked into that burning gold. "Never, ever, be sorry about coming to find me. Do you hear me? Never."

He looked into my eyes for a while before nodding. He leaned forward slowly, almost like he was embarrassed to initiate kiss. I molded myself into him and moved my lips against his. Angel, I was going to marry this man, and, after all that happened in our lives, he still wanted to marry me. I literally found nothing more incredible in the world than I did him. When he parted his lips from mine, and put his forehead on my forehead, I heard the tired sigh of a waking Shadowhunter. Alec sat up, looked around for a moment and cocked his head to the side.

"Fight's over," Jace said, moving his head away from mine. "You passed out about two minutes into it. And, like usual, Max could have done better." He smiled at Alec while the blue-eyed boy frowned at him.

"All you boys do is fight," Isabelle's voice said. I looked up to see her making her way over to us. "Will nothing ever change with you two?"

"Nope," they both answered in unison. I laughed with Izzy glared at them.

"I hate to kill your sibling buzz," Magnus called, "but we need to get Rose to the infirmary. Now."

We all looked up, panicked. Magnus stood, shirt still unbuttoned, with Rose's limp body in his arms. She looked even worse with the light of the dim lantern shining over her. Everyone stood fast and I ran over to her. I saw how the ends of her honey curls were damp with her own blood, saw the way her limbs were swollen in some places, saw the bruises that bloomed all over her body, splotching her light gold skin with color. But mostly, I saw where the ichor of a demon was mixing with hers, flowing together on an open wound. Iratzes don't help when ichor blood is in the wound.

The way back to the Institute was kind of a blur, all that I could remember was running as fast as I could, not enough time to catch a taxi. I remember pain shooting through me every time I moved my left shoulder and my back was stiff. But more than anything, I remember the elevator seeming to work faster than ever, like it knew that we were in distress. Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if it did know, what was normal about this place? The seemingly omniscient cat that sat always made its way through the Institute, bribing everyone into pets and treats every day, certainly wasn't normal. Church knew that something was wrong the moment the elevator doors opened because he was there in the hall, leading the way to the infirmary. When Magnus set Rose down on the bed, everyone stared at her.

He looked up at me and caught my attention. "Can you wake her up?" He asked.

I thought about that one. I could certainly try but I wasn't sure how. I only woke Magnus up because he already had magic coursing through him. I reached down and placed my hands on her décolleté, pushing for the light to come back. When nothing happened, I pulled my stocking down and looked for the rune. Bare, no scar or anything. Huh, I could have sworn it was on that leg. I checked the other one. Bare, no score or anything.

"Magnus…" I said.

"What, what's wrong?"

"The… The rune is gone."

"Just trace over the scar," he said.

"No, I mean it's gone. Like, gone-gone. There is no scar to trace."

"Don't you remember it?" he asked, clinging to his last shred of hope.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember. I could have beaten my head against the wall in frustration, actually, I considered it. I opened my eyes and looked into the green of his. "It's gone," I whispered.

He stared at Rose for a moment, looking as if he was trying to decide something. "Somebody call Maryse and then go get some sleep. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." And with that, Izzy went off to call her mother and he sent Jace and me home to my apartment. Like we weren't supposed to think about Rose, like we were supposed to be able to sleep, like everything was normal. Did he think anything could be normal now?

**Thank you for your review.**

**-KelseyDockry**


	19. Inventing Pictures

**I love you, you know that? I love, love, love, love you. I got my two-hundredth review on June 21st, I'd been refreshing the story stats page all day waiting for that. I hope you all know how much it means to me that you've given me a chance. I sincerely hope that I haven't disappointed you at all! It is also the six month anniversary of this story on the day that I finished this chapter: July 11, 2011. Goodness, you people are my favorites. I'm sorry for this next chapter, it was only going to be two long scenes in the nineteenth chapter but I really wanted to send out this new chapter for the six months because, you know, I'm sappy and love you. So I'd like to thank all of you, as cheesy as I am. Also, KASEYMEREDITH! Haha, I forgot to thank her last chapter and I just near died from guilt. And you anonymous reviewers, thanks for your kind words because all reviews make my life. I swear to you, they make me smile and giggle with glee every time I get one… I'm not kidding, I giggle.**

**DFTBA! and Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**

I brushed my hand over my calf where there should have been a scar from the rune three nights ago. I think Jace was starting to notice that I hadn't slept at all in those three nights. At least Isabelle's makeup lessons were getting put to good use, only Jace had seen the dark circles after I washed my face last night. I could hear his soft breathing in the bedroom through the silence of the apartment, comforting me without his knowing. I wasn't sure how long I'd been sitting out here in the living room. Though, since my tea had gone cold and the light blue floral chair had gotten warm, I was pretty confident that it had been a long time. I fought off the urge to pace by staring out the window and sipping at the bitter tea in my hands. Sighing and closing my eyes, I leaned my head back and listened to his breathing. I don't think he knew how much it meant to me to be able to even hear him, regardless of whether he was asleep or not. It meant so much to me that he'd seen the subtle change that three nights of no sleep caused. I felt silent tears course their way down my temples and into my hair through closed eyes. My phone buzzed next to me, startling me and causing me to break out of the trance that Jace's breathing put me in.

Looking down and sighing, I read the text message.

_You should be sleeping._

I almost smiled at that. Simon wasn't even here and he knew. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that he noticed too, being my best friend and all. I quickly typed my response.

_You should talk, you're not asleep either._

I closed my eyes again, willing sleep to come and drown me in it. And again, it refused. After a minute, my phone buzzed again.

_Clary, this isn't your fault._ Damn him and his way of knowing everything.

_I don't know what you're talking about. I just can't sleep, okay?_

A minute later: _Whatever, just go to bed and snuggle into your little blond-haired Romeo._

I actually did smile at that for a moment, closing my eyes and listening to said 'blond-haired Romeo.'

_Whatever you say, Simon. Just go to sleep yourself and get off my case._ I stared out the window, holding back the rare tears that wouldn't stop assaulting my late nights these last few days. My phone buzzed again.

_I love you, Clary. You know that don't you?_ I thought back to the time when that would have made my heart flutter. It seemed so much longer than two years ago.

_Yeah, yeah. I love you too, you big sap. If you shut up, I'll go to sleep. Goodnight._ That was a lie, but it was a lie that'd make him feel better.

One last buzz. _Seriously, go to sleep. Goodnight._

I put my phone down and let my head fall back against the top of the chair, taking another sip of freezing tea and closing my eyes. I listened for Jace's sleeping breaths. My brows furrowed when I didn't hear anything and I pushed my ears to listen harder, figuring that he must have turned over and faced the opposite way.

I jumped when a throat cleared, my eyes flying open. They landed on a cross-armed, stern looking, shirtless Jace that leaned against the wall where the hallway cut off and opened to the living room. I swallowed against the lump in my throat that huddled in from being caught out of bed, trying as discretely as I could to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. Though I knew he saw it, so I covered my face with my hands.

Upon seeing that, he rushed silently over to me and knelt in front of the chair I sat in. Taking the glass from my hand and setting it on the table, he gently grabbed my wrists. He tried unsuccessfully to pry my hands from my face.

"Clary," he said. I shook my head, not moving my hands. "Clary, look at me." I allowed him to pull my hands off of my face, swallowing hard for the second time, willing myself not to cry in front of him. I wasn't one of those girlfriends that called on their boyfriends to soothe their tears away every five minutes. I couldn't even remember the last time I actually _cried_ in front of him. He curled his forefinger and lifted my chin up. "Clare."

I shut my eyes, and blew out a shaky breath. After a moment for collecting myself, I opened my eyes and stared into his, refusing to let my face betray me.

He sighed and dropped his head forward. "Don't do that," he said.

"Do what?"

"What I used to do," he looked up. "What you're doing now, shutting yourself up like that. Don't shut me out, Clare. Please don't."

I pushed my hair back behind my ear and moved away from his hand. Balancing my elbows on my knees, I put my one hand in my hair, pushing it back again while rocking slowly back and forth a few times. He brushed his fingertips over one of my cheeks, making me lean into him before connecting my gaze with his.

"Hi," I whispered.

He smiled. "Hi." I leaned forward and pressed my forehead into his shoulder. After a long pause he whispered, "Will you… will you come back to bed?"

I closed my eyes again and nodded into the crook of his neck. "Okay," he said, sliding his hands around me. When I was about to stand up and follow him, he picked me up like I didn't weigh anything. I would have gasped but I was too tired.

He reached the bed and put me down, leaning automatically above me. He stared down at me, climbing in on top and cocking his head to the side. "What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head, looking away from him. "You really don't want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about anything," I said, grabbing his face between both hands. He was about to say something when I dragged him down, crushing his lips on mine. He froze for a moment, seeming confused, before kissing me back. His hand slipped up my exposed thigh, tracing the bottom with his thumb. I ran my hands, palms flat, against his chest and up to his shoulders. With a small amount of strength, due to his soft touch, I was able to roll us both over so I was over him at the middle of the mattress. His hands gripped at my waist, his long pianist fingers an inch away from each other on my small back. I brought my hands up to fist my hands into his long hair. After a moment, his hands went up to my cheeks, pulling my face off of his. Every kiss since the fight felt different, like we were closer and every kiss brought us closer. I kept my eyes closed, pulling my lower lip between my teeth and smiling. He rolled over again, hovering on top of me.

"Don't you think you should sleep now?" he asked.

I glared at him. "Really?" I said. "That's really what you're going to say after that?" I pushed him off of me and moved to my side of the bed, bringing my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

"When's the last time you actually slept?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Clare," he leaned onto his knees and took my face in his hands, "when was the last time you slept?"

I looked away and gnawed on my lip, knowing full well that there was no way in the world that I could lie to him. He moved his thumb to my chin, gently pulling at it to release my lower lip.

"It's been three nights." It wasn't a question, not really. I closed my eyes, refusing to actually say it. "Listen to me, Clary. What happened to Rose, and Izzy, and Alec… me, what happened to us was not your fault." I tried to shake my head but his grasp only tightened. "You're human, you need sleep. None of us are angry with you, why are you angry with yourself?"

"I'm not angry with myself," I denied.

"Then who—fine, don't say anything. If you don't want to talk, don't talk." He reached forward slowly, gauging my reaction. When I didn't move, he put his hand on my shoulder. "Will you lay down with me?" I closed my eyes briefly before nodding. "And stay here, in bed?"

"Okay," I whispered, letting him take my wrists and unwind my arms from around my legs. I looked up at him when he peeled the covers back, watching his smile appear when he noticed my gaze. He lay down on his back, drawing me to place my head on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around me. He pressed his face into the top of my hair, pulling the hair tie out before flinging it on the bedside table. He rubbed at my back and hummed into my soft tendrils, moving the two curls that fell into my face behind my ear. His soft musical breath on my hair made me close my eyes and lulled me to the edge of sleep. I was half-willing to let it engulf me, the other half of me just wanted to lay there and drink in every note that he exhaled onto my head. But when his one hand threaded into my hair and his thumb brushed against it from my temple to my ear, I could feel myself going even limper into his form and felt the covers gladly take me in, not ever quite as warm as Jace would be. Every thought of mine stopped being coherent and all that I could focus on was him and his magical way of knowing exactly how to make my body do what he wanted it to do. And for the first time in those three days, as my eyes closed with the intention of staying that way, I felt him smile against my hair, breathing out comforting words that I didn't have the energy to understand.

"_There you are," a voice called out to me._

_I started, my eyes flicking open near violently. "Hello?" I shouted, whipping my head around before studying the ground that I stood on, the green grass that only existed in Idris. "Who's there?"_

"_Clary, dear," the voice called again to my left. "Over here." I looked over where I heard the voice, examining the cottage that protruded from the ground, vines roping their way up and around it. On the porch stood a woman that seemed familiar, her light skin and blonde, waist length hair in particular. I took a slow step forward when she waved me to do so, feeling the soft grass give under my sneakered feet. The woman removed the hand that she held above her eyes as a shield from the brilliant sun, the light catching the deep gold of her eyes. "Well," she said, "I've been waiting for you. Are you going to come up here or not?" She waved me forward again eagerly._

_When I'd reached the porch steps, I hesitated. "Who are you?" I asked._

_She smiled sweetly and sadly. "Clary, I'm so sorry that we haven't met." She sighed and stared down the steps at me. She took another step forwards. "Celine Herondale." Her hand went to the air timidly. "Jace's mother."_

_I froze for a moment, foot just above the bottom step. I looked up to meet the familiar gold. "Jace's mother?" I asked. She nodded with that sad smile still on her lips. I bounded the stairs and took her hand, shaking it confidently. "Clary," I said. "Though, you seem to already know that."_

"_I did," she drew me in for an unexpected hug, "I've known who you are for a while now."_

_Pulling back and offering a confused look, I tried to piece all of this together. "How? How are you here? Aren't you, um, dead?"_

"_Funny how death keeps in this family, isn't it?" A male voice rang out from the doorway. I looked around Celine to be met with a painfully familiar smirk. I suppose it wasn't signature Jace after all. The man was a perfect image of Jace, minus the blue eyes. He stopped leaning against the doorway and unfolded his strong arms from his chest. "I suppose you've already guessed who I am. Not surprised, I suppose, good looks like these are hard to forget. Especially when you've fallen in love with the next generation of them. He really is a chip off the gorgeous block, if I may say so myself."_

"_Stephen," Celine chastised._

_He raised his hands in false innocence, a very Jace thing to do, before stepping forward and extending an all too confident hand, nothing like how Celine's was. I took it with as much assurance as I could try to put forth. His grip on it was strong, daring me, so I tightened mine, causing him to laugh and take his hand back. "I like you, kid. I like you a lot. Perfect for my son, he could probably use someone who isn't afraid to assert themselves." I blushed heavily under his parents' gazes. I wished Jace were here so I wasn't doing this alone, though I knew I was asleep in his arms in reality._

"_Don't mind him, dear. He hasn't been around many, uh, living people in a while. Not that he was much better in the flesh," Celine said. "Come in, please. We'd love to have a chat with you."_

_I followed Stephen's descent into the house, watching him tap his hand on the doorframe like Jace would have. Celine wrapped her arm around my shoulder and guided me into the small dining nook. Stephen sat down and propped a booted foot up on one chair before Celine guided me to sit on the other side of the table. She went to the counter and fetched a kettle, walking over to the sink._

"_Tea, Clary?" She offered._

"_Uh, sure," I said, wringing the edges of my shirt under the table. I looked up to see Stephen eying me blankly. I took to opportunity to notice just how Jace-like he really was, so much more in front of my own eyes than in a picture. Even the way he held himself was exactly like Jace, something he couldn't have faked if he wanted to. The water ran out of the faucet behind him, drawing both him and me out of our trances. Once Celine had put her kettle on the stove, she smiled to herself and came back to sit across from me at the table. _

"_I'm sorry we haven't really had much of an introduction," Celine said. "But we've been waiting three days for you to fall asleep."_

"_Stubborn, you are," Stephen said, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back. "You just wouldn't tucker out enough for us to see you. What could possibly have been so distracting that you wouldn't sleep for three whole nights?"_

"_Well guilt, mostly," I said honestly._

"_Yes, we know about the fight," Celine said, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "And we're sorry about that. We didn't mean for the dagger to give you that rune and just take it away. But we hoped that it would be useful."_

"_It saved my friends life, and mine, and your son's." I shook my head at the last one, wiping my hands over my face._

"_Thank you for that," Stephen said._

"_For what?"_

"_Everything you've done for Jace. You've done so much for him that we couldn't. You showed him love when neither of us were able to be there, and for that we are eternally in debt to you." The kettle began to screech, announcing that it was ready and Celine jumped up and scurried over to it. I watched her prepare the tea before she brought it over to us. I took it in my hands, the cup scorching them, and blew on it._

"_So how, exactly, are you here?" I asked._

"_Well, I think you should find out why you're here before you ask us. This is our home, you know," Stephen said, drinking the water that Celine had brought him instead of tea._

"_I'm here because I'm usually present for my own dreams. You two, however, are not usually here. So now that that is taken care of…"_

"_Yes, it's official, I approve of this girl. She's damn perfect for my son."_

"_We're here because we know what you can do. Our son has the extra angel blood too and we know what he can do. You, however, don't just excel at fighting. You make runes, new runes that are so much more complex than anything we were fortunate enough to see in our times," Celine said. Then she added in a rush, "Also, we'd like to see who is going to marry our son and mother our grandchildren."_

_I blushed furiously. "I see."_

"_So our son," Stephen said, "how does he behave? Is he more his mother or his father?"_

"_Other than the eyes, he's all you." Stephen smiled at the idea. "But," I said, turning my gaze to Celine, "he's very, very sweet to me. The way he acts when we're alone is something that any mother would be proud to see."_

"_You love him very much, don't you?" She asked._

"_More than I can say."_

"_I can see that in the way you talk about him." She looked up at the clock on the wall next to the nook. "We don't have much time."_

"_What, why?" I asked, not wanting much more than to see where Jace got his genes from and to actually meet these people._

"_You have to wake soon. Maybe if you didn't wait so long to fall asleep, we'd have had more time," she said, smiling._

"_Well, guilt does that to me," I said, looking down at the tea in my hands._

_They exchanged a look. "None of that was your fault, you know," Stephen said._

"_You sound like Jace."_

_He smiled. "I like to think of myself as uniquely my own person. He sounds like me."_

"_You two are exactly the same," I laughed._

"_Hey, now," Celine smiled, "he has my eyes. I want my contribution recognized."_

"_Well, I'm just glad to be compared to someone other than my sister," he said._

"_She's lovely," Celine chastised. "She just works a lot. Your sibling rivalry knows no bounds, even in death you're bitter."_

"_Yes, yes. Our spats have always just been my secret way of saying she makes me jealous. Now excuse me while I go put in my pigtails and start singing Madonna songs into a hairbrush."_

"_You don't have to be an ass," Celine said. Words cannot describe how strange it was to hear this grown, regal-looking woman say the word 'ass.'_

"_I am not an ass, I'm clever. There is a difference," Stephen said, stretching his arms out in front of him, fingers weaved together, before putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in exactly the same way that Jace does. I studied the two of them, noting how outlandishly similar they are to Jace and me._

"_Yes, there is a difference. No, you are not clever. You are an ass."_

"_I think you're scaring the girl," Stephen smirked._

"'_The girl'?" I laughed._

"_Well, you're presumably a girl. I mean, I don't think my son plays for the other team. Would you prefer 'woman'?"_

"'_Clary' is good, though 'badass Shadowhunter' would be suitably appropriate," I said, throwing a smirk back at him._

"_Idea formally accepted, approval pending." He looked at me for a moment. "Your hair is exceedingly red."_

"_Thank you for your observation."_

"_It reminds me of the hilt of a blade that I got from my sister."_

"_My hair reminds you of a knife?" I asked, confused._

"_Well, its decoration, yes. But I'm sure that she has it or gave it to someone else now."_

"_Wait a seco—" I was interrupting by the long and vociferous toll of a bell. "What is that?" I asked, panicked._

"_It's time for you to go," Celine said, grabbing my hand and bringing me to my feet._

"_Why? When will I see you again?"_

"_I don't know, dear," she said, honestly. "We will try to see you. But in life and in death, there really is no telling with time."_

_I looked into the gold that gave Jace his eyes, studying the woman quickly, knowing from her answer that this may be my last chance. After I'd finished studying her, I looked over to Stephen. He really was where Jace came from, and Stephen was almost as beautiful. Celine took me out to the porch before grabbing both of my hands, and thinking better of it, pulled me into a hug. Before releasing me, she whispered, "Please tell Jace that I love him. I love him and I'm sorry that I left him."_

_Knowing better than to argue, I pulled back and looked into her tawny eyes. "If I can."_

"_Thank you," she smiled, engulfing me in a final hug. "Welcome to our family." I smiled at her, loving that Jace's mother accepted me, and looked back at Stephen. He should have looked intimidating, really I think he tried, but after knowing Jace so well, it didn't work. I mirrored his look until he laughed._

_He stepped forward and gathered me into a hug, lifting me off the ground. "You're very small, has anyone told you that?"_

"_Yes, your son. Many times, actually. You're very sarcastic, has anyone told you that?"_

_He laughed again. "Celine, many times, actually. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to see you two meet, Clary. I really am. And I'm sorry that we won't be there to see your wedding or your kids being born. We will try to come back to you in your dreams again."_

"_Wait. Before I go, I need to ask you this. How are you in my dreams? How is that possible?"_

_Instead of the smile that I would have expected, Stephen looked into my eyes very seriously. "Did you really think that the runes and the fighting was the only gift of the angel blood?"_

"_So this dreaming thing… it's normal? I mean, it's something that should happen again?" I asked._

"_It will happen again," he said. He grabbed my chin lightly, leaning down so we were at eye level. "Protect my son, Clary." I blinked twice and looked behind him at Celine. She smiled, looking like she was in pain, and waved. Stephen released my jaw and stepped back. "Wake up," he whispered._

"_How?" I asked, feeling a sudden pull to go back the way I came. Neither of them answered, just pulled each other into their arms and watched me. I looked out at the grass that graced the empty field and hills with the trees. Casting another look at the golden couple that gave me my life, because that's what Jace truly was, I memorized them and vowed to keep this dream in my mind. Taking the first step down the porch, I felt the soft scraping of the unvarnished light hardwood. I took the steps slowly and felt myself grow more and more drained. Practically dragging myself to the middle of the empty field, I felt a sudden gust of chilling air. My hair flew back and I closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh air that only existed in Idris._

_When I opened my eyes, I found myself not in the blinding sunlight, but in the complete darkness of the night sky. I took three steps forward before I could stop myself and close my eyes again, hoping for sunshine. When I opened them again, I realized for a second time that it was still dark, only this time it was darker. I got the creeping suspicion that something wasn't only unusual but also daunting. I took a deep breath and craned my neck slowly, closing my eyes before following the turning with my entire body. Inhaling once shakily, I opened my eyes and felt my stomach drop. Though I'd gotten used to how it got darker every time I closed and opened my eyes, and that was still a bit odd, the thing that I saw, even if I had to squint to see it, was not something that I'd gotten used to._

_Where the beautiful cottage sat, with its creaking stairs and porch, its hanging flowers, its pretty rooms, its pretty furniture, and above all, its pretty couple, was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was alone in this dream world where I had never been before, where I did not know where to go or how to leave. I squinted against the darkness; my eyes watering from keeping them open too long, trying desperately to see the cottage again. Maybe it was just too dark, maybe I'd gone farther than I thought I'd walked. Maybe I should just go back and see the cottage again._

_Right when I had that thought, I felt the ground quiver for the smallest of barely existent moments. Just as fast as the ground had quivered, it disappeared. I hung suspended in the air just briefly before plummeting downward into the seemingly never-ending pit below me. I tried desperately to stop myself, finding absolutely nothing to grab onto. I felt my body rush into a cold sweat, my stomach fall, felt my breathing and heart beat pick up to dangerously high and shallow speeds, my head pulsing to a beat not unlike the beat of Matt's drumming when he'd first picked up the sticks._

_The pit was bottomless; the fall would never end._

_And then it did._

I flew up into a sitting position on the bed, my body slightly sticky and working at a scary fast pace. My chest was heaving almost painfully as my heart tried to punch its way out of my ribs. I grasped at my shirt weakly, attempting to slow myself down.

"Clary?" Jace asked from beside me, his voice barely containing sleep and fully containing worry. I looked at him, his wide and golden eyes calming me. He pushed himself onto his knees and held me. His one hand smoothed the back of my hair as the other grasped the side of my waist opposite it.

"Shh," he said soothingly as my body tried to slow itself. I could feel adrenaline pumping through my veins more forcefully than blood. "What happened?"

I shook my head on his shoulder. "I don't want to talk about it," I said. "Not now." I turned my head the other way and buried it in his neck. After a few minutes, I pushed myself closer to him, my lips finding purchase just above his collarbone.

He froze.

I moved closer still, getting up onto my knees and pushing him down on the bed. He lay silently until I moved to straddle his waist, leaning forward and kissing his neck again.

"Clary," he warned, moving his hands to my face to pull it back. Instead of doing as he wanted, I took his hands in mine and put them above his head, pushing them firmly into the pillows, still kissing up his neck. "Clare, stop it."

"I miss you, Jace," I said, pressing my lips to the patch of skin behind his ear.

"I haven't gone anywhere." He tried to move his hands but I kept them firmly placed in the mattress.

"I haven't been able to touch you in three days." I moved his hands up above his head, crossing them and holding them with only one of mine. I trailed my fingertips down his arm slowly, his muscles tightening under them. "And I want to touch," I whispered.

"Not now, Clare. You need to sleep."

"I just slept, I don't need to do it again."

"We can't do th—" I cut off his protest by pressing my mouth to his. I smiled when he settled into me, trying to get his arms back. I knew it was hard for him to kiss me without touching me, but I also knew it was hard for him to _stop_ me without touching me. I didn't know how to stop him, however, when he used his core strength to flip us. He brought his one hand down to grab mine from his chest and brought it up to my other, putting me in the position he was just in. He trailed his left hand down my arm and slowly brought it along to my waist, causing me to shiver uncontrollably. He seemed to like my shivers. I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth, wanting desperately to have some control on the kiss, even a little bit. The pulling of his lip caused him to groan against my mouth and pull me closer to him. I tugged desperately at his hold on my hands but he wouldn't budge. I whimpered into his mouth. He smiled and let go of my hangs, bringing his other to the side of my upper ribcage. I thanked him wordlessly by kissing him deeper, both of my hands twisting into his gorgeous hair.

"I love you," he whispered huskily. I gasped and pulled him as close as I could, flipping us and tugging his face closer. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and grabbed fiercely at my waist. I settled myself into his lap, putting my legs on either side of him.

We held each other like that until the sun came up and inched its way across the room. When my lips were thoroughly bruised and swollen and the sunlight was halfway across the room, Jace put his head on my shoulder and seemed to focus on breathing. I had just as hard, if not harder, of a time trying to breathe. When he'd regained his normal inhale, exhale routine, he grabbed my shoulders gently and pushed me back on the bed, laying half on top of me. I looked up at him as his fingertips ghosted my cheekbone, brushing back a stray curl.

"You are so indescribably beautiful," he said.

I closed my eyes and breathed. In through the nose, out through the mouth; in through the nose, out through the mouth. I could feel his fingers touching me, running over my arms, sliding over my waist, caressing my face. I opened my eyes and pushed up on my elbows, our faces only inches apart.

"I'm so scared, Jace," I whispered, putting my forehead against his cheek.

"I know, baby." He moved his face over, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Please, please can you do something to make me forget or make me feel better?"

"I will do anything for you, Clare. You know that, right? I will do anything. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it," he said.

I grabbed his arms, pulling him closer to me. "Can we just be us again? For a day, I just want to be us. No infirmary, no runes, no demons. I just want to be us."

"Done," he said, wrapping his arms around me.

I slumped back in relief, my eyes no longer able to stay open and my head pounding like a war drum.

I woke with the sun beating its way through the shades that Jace must have closed. Lifting my head and noting the way that I was curled at the bottom of the bed, I looked around for Jace. When I didn't see him in the bedroom, I closed my eyes and listened for him. He was in the kitchen.

After going to brush my teeth in the bathroom, I walked over to him where he sat at the kitchen table and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He was reading through the newspaper, something I'd never seen him do before. The page, however, was not the page that I thought he might be interested in. He was looking at the houses and apartments open for rent and buying.

"Good morning," he said.

"Is it really?"

He laughed, "Well, ten o'clock is technically morning and now that you're here I'd say it's a fantastic morning."

"Your cheesiness literally never fails to make me want to gag and kiss you at the same time."

"It's a talent," he said, newspaper still in hand.

I laughed and bent my head down to kiss his shoulder. I tried desperately not to think about anything but him. He was here and I was here, and nothing else mattered at that moment. I didn't want to think about his family, or my family, or Rose, or training, or anything that wasn't him. So I didn't, I just kissed my way up his neck and slid my hands down his strong arms.

"Clary, I'm trying to read. You know how you get when I try and interrupt your reading."

"I always let you, don't I?" I asked, snuggling my face into his hair.

"Well, yes. But you know that I'm a three year old and I'll bother you until you respond."

I smiled, placing a quick kiss on his neck. "So I just have to bother you until you put the paper down?"

"You do know that I'm immune to people trying to bother me, right? I did grow up with Isabelle, as you remember."

"I'm willing to bet that she never tried anything like this," I whispered into his ear, running my hands down over his chest and feeling his abs under his shirt. He straightened his back in response, tightening his grip on the paper. Noting the way his fingers curled into reading material, I moved my hands up higher. Inch by inch, his shirt came up to reveal golden skin over toned muscles. I tugged the cotton towards his head, his breathing coming faster and his teeth starting to grind together in restraint. When the black fabric had bunched up at his underarms, I moved my hands to his back to pull it over his head, letting my nails scratch lightly on the way. He didn't raise his arms so I had to push it down where it caught on his wrists. I didn't bother trying to get it all the way off so I just let it stay there, pulling my hands all the way up his arms and down his back.

"Your idea of bothering me is taking my clothes off?" He asked, laughing once. "That's never going to bother me."

"Come on, Jace," I whispered in my seductive voice, though I knew it could probably be better, I hoped that it would work anyways. "Don't you want to play?"

"See, now you're just making me _want_ to ignore you. It's like a challenge."

"This is our day. Can't we spend it together, not with you reading the paper?"

"Of course we can spend it together, I just want to see how you're planning on distracting me. Now if you don't mind, I am looking at homes for us and our future family."

I smiled to myself for the briefest of moments. "Fine," I said, taking my hands from him. I turned around and took three purposeful steps before I heard the chair scratch against the floor and felt his arms around me at the same time, lifting me up off the floor and pressing my back into his chest. I turned my head back to the table, seeing that half of the paper laid there and the other half was scattered on the floor with his t-shirt. He seemed to think that I turned my head for him because he took my lips with his. I smiled against his mouth, catching his bottom lip between my teeth. He froze for three seconds before pulling back.

"You did that on purpose," he said.

"Did what on purpose?" I smiled.

"You knew that I'd stop reading if you did that." He let go of me, stepping back with a look of horror on his face. He raised both his hands to his hair and fisted it. He stared down at the ground with his eyes wide and his jaw slack. "I've become predictable." He fell back into his chair. "My life means nothing."

"You're such a drama queen," I said, rolling my eyes but smiling nonetheless. I walked over to the fridge and looked through it, finding that my appetite had not returned like sleeping had. I closed the door and turned around, watching Jace fill a glass with water and drink it without a breath. Damn, he was a work of art.

"Go get dressed," he said when he put the glass in the dishwasher.

"What?" I asked, trying not to focus on my boyfriend's body but his words.

"Sorry, were my rippling pectorals too distracting?" He reached down and snatched up his shirt, putting it on in the same fluid motion. "Put some proper clothes on."

"Not liking the cloth shorts and tank top look?"

"I'm liking it too much, actually. That's why you have to change; I don't want any other jerks liking it as much as I do."

"I don't think that'll happen."

"Trust me," he said.

"I trust," I called back as I started walking to the bedroom. After changing and running a brush through the mess that Jace caused last night, I came out to see Jace studying something out the window very carefully. "What're you looking at?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

He jumped, a very unJace-like thing to do, and looked at me with wide eyes. "N-nothing," he said.

I took a step closer, planning to find out what he was looking at. With my step, he took two of his own closer to me, reaching up to hold my hand and pull me away from the living room. I shot one more look at the window before he pulled me out the door, grabbing the keys before it closed on us.

"So where are you bringing me? I'm keen to the idea of a date, I mean we haven't had one for weeks, but I'm not so fanatical for the kidnapping that seems to be occurring."

"It wouldn't be kidnapping, would it? What woman wouldn't want me to tow them around town by the hand, making them the envy of every other female that sees them?"

"See, you ruin it by being an ass," I said. He chuckled when he caught sight of my face. I knew that he loved annoying me more than anyone else but did he really have to get that much of a kick out of it?

"It's not being an ass if I act like this all the time."

"Yes it is. And you don't even act like this all the time."

"Maybe not with you, but I actually like you."

"That's a good thing seeing as we're getting married."

He took me to the little restaurant just on the outside of Central Park and opened the door, ushering me inside.

"I swear, you go from ass to cheesy in a matter of seconds," I said, feeling his arm snake around my waist.

"I prefer boyfriendly," he said, waiting in line next to me.

"Not a word."

"I'm too good to be confined to your pathetic dictionary. I like to think of myself as a lexicographer for the ages."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't even know he knew what a lexicographer is, but there he was, being good at everything as usual. A tiny brunette bounded over to the counter when we got to the front of the line. Jace ordered the food that he usually got us for a picnic and lounged on the ledge of the counter. I stared at him there for a moment, not bothering to make conversation. When he realized that I was staring, he smirked at me and pulled me an inch or two closer. I smiled and rolled my eyes, pulling myself closer to hug him softly. He swung his arms back around me and put his lips on my hair. I smiled and turned my head to look through the restaurant. It bustled with tourists as usual, little families here and there, couples sitting outside and holding hands over the table. I didn't notice anything different until I looked to a couple that had just seated themselves a few minutes after we walked in. The woman had put her sunglasses on the table, flipped her shoulder length bleach-blonde hair, and held hands with the black-haired man across from her. But they didn't look affectionate like the others did, they looked strange. The man spoke to her without a smile and his eyes wandered the café, landing on Jace and me over and over. The woman would speak back to him with a tight smile on her face, but the conversation seemed to be trivial. There was something off with this couple, like I'd seen them before somewhere. Seeing someone who you'd never met in this city was strange but it happened. I don't know what seemed so off between them but I couldn't help the nagging feeling in my chest to leave.

I suddenly felt the loss of Jace's arm and looked away from the couple to him. He reached out and took the food with one hand and mine with the other. I cast one last glance at the couple before following Jace as he left.

Jace and I had been lying together on the blanket for about an hour, maybe two. He lay on his back facing the town and I lay on my back facing more of the park where I knew the fairies and the Seelie Queen were living; our heads next to each other. I looked up at the sky, plagued fully with pollution from the city yet still managing to seem clear. The sun beat down on my bare arms, face, and chest and felt beautifully there. What did not feel there was everything but nature and the gift of nature that lay beside me. There was no nagging need to speak or to move; there were no people, cars, or streets around us. There was only Jace and only the world around us. I turned my face towards him, seeing his gaze fixed on me. I smiled shyly at him.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he replied.

And really, there was nothing else that needed to be said. I closed my eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out just as slowly. Opening my eyes, I stared at his gold ones. I'd always emphasized the gold in his eyes when I'd paint or draw him. Truly, the gold that covered him was part of what made him so beautiful on the outside. And I'd thought about it before but in this light right now, it looked so intimidatingly beautiful that my heart clenched tightly. I looked down at his lips as he rolled onto his side and leaned forward. Gasping lightly when his mouth pressed mine with the most gentle of touches, I leaned in and molded my lips to his. His hand moved to cup my face in a strange kind of upside-down way that took my breath further.

His breath came out in a sigh over my face at the moment that my phone started buzzing in my pocket. Pulling back an inch, I looked down at the buzzing object. I reached my hand down and grabbed it, opening the text message from Isabelle.

_She's awake._

**Was that too much of a cliff-hanger? I might just think it is because I know what big thing happens next. Also, I'd like to know if I have any male readers. It was just something that I was wondering about. Okay, see you in the reviews.**

**DFTBA! and Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**


	20. Some Flare Out

**Hi! I missed you! Twentieth chapter, you guys! Thank you so, so much for sticking with me for so long. And there are reasons at the end of the chapter for why this took so long. This chapter is a big part of the plot, so I want to know who called the surprise in the reviews. I'm terribly sorry that this took so long. I might not update soon again due to a new novel that I'm working on. I love you deeply.**

**DFTBA! and Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**

"Clary!" Jace called for no doubt the fourth time since I left the park. "Clary, wait. Slow down!"

I was so close to being back to the Institute I could see the tops of the tall building looming over the shorter structures in front of it. Before I had time to look away from them, Jace was in front of me, staring down at my face with pure concern. His hands encircled the tops of my arms and he looked me deep in the eyes. "Slow down," he repeated softly.

As I stared at him, one of his strong hands released my upper arm and brushed my red curls back from their fallen place on my shoulder, his hand resting on the side of my neck. A breath dropped from my mouth in a shaking, unstable sound.

"What's going on?" He asked quietly. "I thought everything was going perfectly."

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. "It was, you were, but…" My eyes opened.

"Clare," he pleaded; his eyes moving back and forth between mine, searching.

"She's awake," I whispered. "Rose, she's awake."

"I don't understand. Why are you running? Why are you even guilty? You're pulling away, not just from everyone else, but also from me. Please, baby, I need you to explain why you're so upset."

"Because nobody else can get hurt, not because of me!" My voice rose to a shout, not caring if anyone heard me. Only he existed, only Jace. "So many people have been hurt, died, because of me. Rose couldn't be another one; I don't care if I don't know her all that well. I don't care if I don't even know her last name. Nobody else can die. There's been so much death. You… when you…" I stopped, feeling tears starting to cloud my vision. I couldn't talk about that time. My head shook viciously, my eyes shutting hard. "I can't," I said, feeling his hands come up to cradle my face softly, gently.

"Shh," he breathed. "Shh, you don't have to. Quiet, baby." I felt hot tears roll from my clamped eyes, spilling over my cheeks and leaving trails behind. Jace gasped softly, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me, fingers tangling in my hair, "Please don't cry."

He pulled back and kissed the tears from my face. A sob caught in my throat as I tried to hold back more unwanted tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I cried. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, holding onto him with as much strength as I could possibly muster.

"No," he said, holding me. "Never, ever, be sorry for feeling. Feeling is _never_ wrong. Do you hear me? Never." I cried harder, soaking his t-shirt.

After a few minutes of his soothing, my eyes dried and my breathing fell from the clutch of sobs. Jace pulled back and looked at me, running his thumbs over my cheeks, removing the stains of wet tears. His lips pressed against my forehead.

I rested my head on his shoulder again, breathing him in and trying to find the will to move, to go back to the Institute.

"We don't have to go right away if you don't want to. Or if you can't," Jace said, holding me tight.

"No, we should go. We only need to be there for a little while before we can go home. I kind of wanted today to be for us. I didn't get enough of just us."

"I didn't either but I don't want that to be why we leave before you want to. I don't want to make you feel like you have to go."

"We'll just check and see how she is, okay?"

"I love you," he smiled, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I love you, too."

He beamed, placing a fast kiss on my forehead. I held out my hand, which he promptly ignored, wrapping an arm around my waist. I leaned into him and allowed him to pull me to the Institute. Holding me tightly and purring the lyrics to a song softly in my ear, Jace stood with me in the middle of the elevator.

By the time we'd gotten to the doors of the infirmary, I'd started to have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like something wrong or—no, wrong was a good word for it. I wasn't sure if it was the heightened fight-or-flight instinct that all of the other Shadowhunters and I had or just that feeling that everyone got when something was about to change. That nervous 'everything-is-gonna-go-to-hell' feeling. But I ignored it and pushed the door open, taking in the assault of sterile and medical smells that accompanied the space. Everything about the room screamed disinfected and bleached to the last centimeter of its life. Every bed was fitted inside only the whitest of sheets that pulled tightly over each of them, with two pillows stacked on top of each other. The curved, high, almost circular looking ceiling that was painted with clouds and cherubs that pulled golden ribbon behind them from where it was fastened to their wrists. I never understood that ceiling, why it had to be painted like that. It felt almost like it was taunting the sickly people that would stay here, showing the heaven and the like was only an inch in front of them, only a blink or a breath away from taking them.

Scanning the beds I saw, on the very middle bed of the left row, Rose laying and twiddling her thumbs in annoyance. The young blonde started and looked up at us, then at the ceiling, her head dropping back and mouth opening slightly.

"Oh, thank you, _Angel!_" She said quite loudly, her arms flying up to the air. "I was about to take a scalpel to the frigging mattress out of boredom."

"You're pretty melodramatic there, aren't you?" Jace said, pulling a chair up next to the bed and sitting on it. His pointer fingers curled into my belt loops and tugged me down onto his lap.

"You two are disgusting. I feel bad for your poor bedroom," she countered, looking at us with fake repulsion.

Jace smirked, leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. Rose fake gagged.

"Jace," I said. I looked at Rose who raised her eyebrows, asking silently what the look was for. "Rose, I'm so sor—"

"If one more person pities me, I swear. You know I can take care of myself, right? I'm perfectly fine and I don't know why they're making me stay here," she interrupted.

"Well you did get knocked on your ass that other night," Jace said.

I pinched is thigh in punishment. He quickly retaliated by poking me in the side, tickling me. I stood and pulled another chair beside her bed, sitting there instead.

"So did you, charmer. And it wasn't the first time it happened to me. I'm a Shadowhunter, we get hurt sometimes. Can I freaking leave this bed now?" Rose begged.

"You'll have to get permission from my mom for that," Isabelle's voice sounded.

We all looked over at her. "Is Maryse here?" Jace asked.

"Yeah, she just got back to meet Rose. She wants to talk to her alone."

Jace and I stood, crossing the room and going out of the door. Not having a place to go, we went upstairs to the greenhouse. On the way, we held hands and I thought back to the night with all of the demons. I furrowed my brows when I remembered something.

"Hey, Jace?" I said.

"Yes?" He laughed at my facial expression.

"Do you remember that night when we were fighting all of those demons?"

"I hardly forget a night like that. You were pretty badass. Well, I was better, but…" He smirked at me.

I frowned at him. "I'm trying to be serious."

"I can tell by your serious face."

"Stop that and just listen to me!"

He held his unoccupied hand up and put on an innocent face. "Jeez, I'm listening. The last time you acted like this, you pulled a cup out of a drawing. At that moment I decided two things: one, I was in trouble because Angry Clary is the only thing that can get me to do what they want, and two, I was going to listen to everything you want me to hear for the rest of my life."

"Oh, shut up!" I said. "You have not listened to everything I've said since then."

"Um, yes. Yes I have."

"I seem to remember you being extremely persistent with pushing me around, disobeying me, lying to me when you were going to Idris even though I had the _full_ right to go, and having a particular revulsion towards Simon before and during the time that he and I were dating. All of this happened _after_ I told you not to do any of it."

"Well that's not true."

"Oh really? What part of it is a lie, then?"

"Well first off, I hated Simon even after you broke up—which, by the way, is something that I do _not_ want to discuss, ever. And second, I listened to all of those things, I just didn't do them."

"I hate you," I said.

"Now, let's not lie to ourselves. The only people that hate me wish they had me or were me."

"No, I hate you. I actually, truly hate you."

"That sucks because I'm not letting you go anywhere without me and you already said yes to marrying me."

"Alright, will you stop getting off topic?" I requested.

He brought a hand up and twisted it on his mouth like he was locking it.

I rolled my eyes. "Do you remember," I said, "when I was pinned up against the wall by those demons," his hand tightened on mine, "and they said to take care of the unconscious Herondale?"

"Yeah, why is that a big deal?"

"I don't understand why they said it. You weren't unconscious."

We arrived at the door and he opened it, pulling me through and to a spot on the soft grass. "I was almost unconscious, maybe they were just figuring that I'd pass out."

"But you didn't," I insisted.

"Shh," he pushed me down into a sitting position. "It doesn't matter. They were all useless idiots, remember?"

"I suppose," I said quietly after a moment.

Picking a leaf off of the bush next to us, Jace peeled from it piece by piece. I lay back on the grass and folded my hands behind my head, my eyes closing. When I opened them again, Jace's face was hovering just above mine. My eyes widened and my lips parted in shock.

"Hi," he said sweetly, smiling and moving my hair.

I blinked twice. "Where did you come from?"

"Are you asking for a lesson on the birds and the bees or a demonstration of the birds and the bees?" He said, smiling slyly.

I rolled my eyes. "Neither."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "I happen to be very good at both talking about it and doing it."

I rolled my eyes. "You're so cocky."

He leaned in closer, smirking just above my lips, and said, "I prefer confident," before kissing me.

"I'm sure you do," I smiled and murmured. His hand slid down and held my waist softly, bringing me up closer to him. The kiss was slow and gentle, probably one of the most loving ones that we'd shared. He held me like I was made of ash or water, like if any amount of pressure were put on me I would fade and crumble and he would be left by himself with nothing but air between him and the ground. His forefinger traced the curve of my waist, landing on the waistband of my pants. I felt it trace the fabric around until his hand flattened on the side of my hip. My hands were on his face, not grasping too hard, just lingering. His other hand had gone under my back to rest between my shoulder blades, pulling me near to him, not hard but relaxed. And kissing Jace, though we'd done this an incalculable amount of times, always shocked me. It always stole my breath, always brought goose bumps to my skin, always sped my heart and made adrenaline rush through my system. It didn't matter how soft or passionate the kiss was, Jace was Jace, and he had that affect on me. Two years ago, I prayed that these reactions would dwindle. I mean, they had to. Nobody should be able to affect someone so heavily for the rest of his or her lives. But it hadn't left, and now I thank the Angel every time. Because Jace was a reminder that everything in life wasn't pain or fighting. He was my reminder that good things can come from the worst of things, and that things that seem rock-hard and untouchable can love and can be softened. It seemed so cliché, the idea that a bad boy was soft and loving on the inside. And that could have been what Jace was. He could have actually been a bad boy that never planned on opening up to anyone before we'd met. But I wasn't the one that knocked down and peeled off all of his walls; Jace was. He opened up because he loved me. It didn't matter that he'd never been taught to love before. It didn't matter that he thought to love was to destroy. Because the little boy that only knew how to hate and to grieve and to shield himself _was_ destroyed. In the best of cases, in cases like Jace's, true beauty emerges from rubble. And that's what he was: true beauty. He'd always be beautiful. Any person with eyes could see that he was gorgeous, but it took effort to break away his stockade and see where he was really beautiful.

Jace's lips pulled back and pressed to my forehead before sliding to the hollow of my temple, following the contours of my face to brush over my cheek. He put his forehead on mine and set his hand in the grass beneath us, fingers going slightly into the soil. His other arm slid around me and pulled me up into a sitting position, his forehead never leaving mine. His heated breath spread over my face in a strangely comforting way. My hands slid to his shoulders and I went up to my knees, denting the soft ground next to either side of his legs. I looked back down at his lips, bringing one finger up to trace his jaw line. He had one hand to my shoulder blades and the other under my shirt, splaying over my lower back. His fingers felt like fire, like literal flames on my skin. His golden eyes were shut, his head tilted up at me and his neck working. I ran my fingertips over his cheekbones and my thumb ghosted the edge of his lips. "You're so beautiful," I breathed.

He didn't speak because he didn't need to. I could feel the response in the way his hands tightened on my back. Every single inch of him screamed it, every breath he took seemed to say it. He was telling me he loved me; it was obvious. When he did open his mouth, I pressed mine to his. I shushed him quietly against his lips. His right hand moved to tuck my hair behind my ear while his left stayed firmly put on the bare skin of my lower back. I thought he'd pull back when his lips slowed even more but he stayed close to me. The hand under my shirt moved so torturously unhurried up my spine that I began to visibly shake. It froze for a moment on the small of my back before it pushed me hard into his torso. His teeth caught my lower lip and tugged. I thanked my luck for having my eyes closed because I'd never live it down if he saw how they rolled back. And with that last tug, he stopped kissing me. Jace put his head on my shoulder and took deep breaths against my collarbone. My fingers wound and braided themselves into his deep golden curls and my eyes stayed shut for a moment longer.

I heard heels clicking on the stairs before the glass doors to the greenhouse opened and Isabelle stood in the entrance. She looked at us for a moment, furrowing her brows before speaking. "Mom wants you two in the infirmary. She's going to start questioning Rose and wants us all present."

I nodded slightly but Jace did nothing, didn't even open his eyes.

Izzy shifted uncomfortably. "I'll tell her you're on your way." And she left.

I ran my fingers down Jace's curls and sighed into his hair. "We should probably go," I said.

He tightened his hold on me, my small body fitting perfectly against his larger one. His head, still placed in the crook of my neck, shook before I felt his nose slowly move up my neck and trace my jaw. His pointer finger ran slowly down my back, making me grip his arms tightly in an effort to keep from shivering. I heard his deep laugh and felt the heat of it on my neck.

"Seriously, they're waiting."

He shook his head again, seeming to think talking wasn't something he wanted to do.

"Okay," I tried to push away from him in an attempt that proved a waste of time. "No, Jace. No more, maybe I'll give you a treat if you come downstairs right now."

Jace huffed. "_Fiiiiine_," he whined. He let me stand and smiled devilishly.

When we'd gotten down to the infirmary, Maryse and Izzy were talking back and forth with Rose eyeing the older woman cautiously. "Oh, you're here!" Maryse said when she'd noticed us. Jace sat next to his sister and his mother on a chair that'd already been placed, and I pulled a chair up to the other side of Rose's bed. I looked up at the other side of the bed where Izzy caught my eye and smirked, flipping her perfect eyebrows up quickly. I narrowed my eyes, sick of how she always poked fun when she caught Jace and me in… a compromising position.

"Okay," Maryse started, putting on her (as Jace lovingly called it) 'serious business' voice. "As I'm sure you've been told, when someone comes to stay at the Institute, we have to question them and, since you are a child and other children live here, we must lay down the rules. This may be an Institute but it's also a home for my family."

I bit at the inside of my cheek, thinking of how I was never questioned upon my arrival. But that made sense because Jace knew everything that'd happened by that point and, most importantly, I had no freaking idea what a Shadowhunter was. Rose nodded slowly and looked everywhere but Maryse's eyes. I'd never seen the confident girl so intimidated in the weeks that I'd known her, not even when she was in the middle of fighting.

"So you say that you're from Idris?"

Rose took a deep breath. "Yes," she said.

Maryse nodded once. "And you lived with your mother? Where is your father?"

Okay, that was a little harsh. But Rose answered nonetheless, shielding herself from any kind of emotion. "Dead."

"And how?"

"The war," Rose said, keeping everything very to the point.

There was more nodding, more questions, more to the point answers, and more uncomfortable silence from myself and the older woman's children. This lasted for what felt like an hour but was probably ten minutes. By that time we'd learned most of the things about Rose. I now knew things about her better than I did about most of the girls I grew up with in the Mundane world.

Then she mentioned her mother.

"And what does your mother do?" Maryse asked, finding sudden interest in something other than the rules she'd been throwing in every once in a while.

"She's like… a politician?" Rose made the end a question, as if she wasn't quite sure what her _mother_ does for a living.

"Is that a question?"

"My father kept me away from that and she wouldn't discuss anything with me after he died. I never knew any specifics about her job. I don't know if she was trying to protect me or if she just didn't think I was worth speaking to. Personally, I think it was the latter. If she were trying to protect me, that would require seeing me as something other than a possession. I mean, she changed my last name back to her maiden name when my dad died."

Maryse did one of her short nods. "And what is your name then?"

"Roslyn Herondale," she said.

My heart dropped. I looked up at Jace automatically and he looked up at me. I didn't know what to say or do but he looked shocked, pure and unadulterated shock. The look was quickly wiped from his face when Isabelle and Maryse looked at him. He pulled that 'I-don't-care-about-anything' act that I hated so much. If you weren't me, you probably wouldn't have seen anything but his half bored look but I could see his confusion in his eyes under all of that.

"Herondale," Maryse repeated.

Rose nodded, looking at each of us, puzzled.

How did I not notice before? The hair, the skin, the personality. I swear the sarcasm in that family is passed down like a gene. Seriously, she looked like Jace. Jace has an aunt and a cousin. A _living_ aunt and cousin. Before today we thought everyone in relation to him was dead. But her face and her hair and her determination should have made it so obvious.

I hadn't been paying attention to anything that had been said for obvious reasons. So I didn't understand what happened when Jace stood abruptly and walked out of the room, his shoulder stiff. Maryse and Isabelle looked at me.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I asked if Isabelle and I could speak with Rose alone," Maryse repeated.

"Oh." I stood and followed Jace's path out of the door. Looking into the hallway, I turned my eyes to both sides. Jace was all the way down to the end of the hall by the time I'd spotted him. "Jace!" I called. He didn't turn. "Jace, where are you going?" I tried again. I followed him, knowing where he was headed.

The sound coming from the room could be heard from five doors down if you listened for it. Soft tinking so beautifully played and filled with emotion that you almost had to stop in your tracks and fully appreciate it. But I didn't want to appreciate just the music. So I kept walking, hearing the music grow louder. The door was only open a crack and the light of the sunset seemed to be the only thing that lit the entire room. I placed my fingertips against the wood and pushed on it, making it creak softly. He continued playing nonetheless.

Once I stood in the music room, I couldn't help but just stare at him. His back was bent over the piano in the most artful way I'd ever seen and his hair hung low in his eyes as they watched his fingers fly around the keys. It was so cliché and so true, his beauty. I mean, every girl probably wanted to call her boyfriend beautiful because that's what she thought he was, they all thought those boys were the most breathtaking boys that breathed. They were wrong though, because that boy was sitting in front of me, giving a demonstration in real, heartbreaking music. The thing that made it heartbreaking was that he probably didn't feel that way, he probably only felt shock and confusion. What made it heartbreaking was not the way he felt, but the way he made those who listened to it feel. In all my years with the band I had never had the pleasure of being able to pull that off.

The song didn't last much longer than that and drifted off to be replaced by silence. He knew I was there, obviously, so I didn't keep quiet because even though I knew I shouldn't be, I was worried about him. I took a few steps closer to him, closing the door behind me. "Jace," I said, "none of us expected what she was going to say. Are you okay? I mean that's-" He looked at me, his eyes catching me off guard. They held some expression in them under his curls that I couldn't really place. It wasn't quite boredom or a lack of interest and it wasn't anger, but it was somewhere in between the two. Then he stood and his stance, while graceful, seemed threatening. He seemed like he was about to do something that I should be worried about. His long fingers stretched out once and relaxed, his eyes still on mine. "Jace…?" I asked, but he'd started moving towards me.

He caught the tops of my arms in his hands and turned me, walking at a normal speed forward until my shoulder blades hit the wall right before it met the corner. I looked up at his face, which hovered an inch over mine, and swallowed. That same look was on his face. He didn't smirk or laugh like he usually did; he just grabbed my chin with one hand and crushed his mouth to mine. It wasn't what I expected when I came into the room, but when did Jace ever do what was expected? His lips were insistent against mine, stealing every breath that I tried to take. I pushed at his chest and shook my head, making him move back a few inches. He wouldn't have that though and went right back to where he was before. His hands were on my face, holding it up to his as his tongue moved through and swiped at my lips. At that point, I couldn't help myself and I had no choice but to kiss back, leaning into him and putting my hands on the back of his head to guide him closer. At the first taste of his tongue, I reached down to his belt loops and pulled his hips closer to mine before my fingers were all back in his hair. He pressed me so far into the wall that the kiss wasn't the only thing making it hard to breathe. His hand traveled the length on my back and moved all the way down to my thigh, starting to lift, until my leg was hitched around his hip. And his hand was back on the gap of skin between the waistband of jeans and my shirt that had ended up pulled halfway up my back. He took one more step forward—which shouldn't have even been possible with how close he already was. My leg was so high up that I had to push myself onto my toes. He noticed that and moved his hand down my side torturously, his mouth nipping its way down my neck and onto my shoulder. His hand curled around the back of the very top of my leg and paused before hitching it roughly around his hip, taking all of my control away. I didn't have any power in this position at all, he was too close for me to even try to move. The only thing between us was clothing, not even air could pass. If I attempted to move I would only shift against Jace and I couldn't get back to the ground with him holding me like that.

His lips were on my shoulder and his hand stayed in the underside of my thigh just above my knee. I tried to lean my head back on the wall to give him more room but I was so tight against it that I couldn't. I wedged my arms down enough for me to thrust my fingers into his hair. He breathed against my collarbone and moved his lips back to mine. I closed my eyes again when his body shifted under me. I gasped and my nails scratched down and around his neck, landing just below his shoulder on his chest.

Everything that I could feel, see, hear, and smell was Jace. He was everything and everywhere and nothing was important other than that. And everything that was Jace was gold; he even smelled golden. And my closed eyelids had me seeing gold. That surprised me; I didn't see gold on a regular basis. But then the gold brightened in all spots put one, showing the start of a pattern. And the pattern clicked into a rune. A rune that I'd seen.

I gasped and pushed forward, shocking Jace. He took a step backwards and I slid down the wall, just catching myself on my feet and landing in a crouch. I looked up at Jace, his face looking horrified. He rushed forward and grabbed my hands with one of his, the other moving around my limbs methodically before his it came up to my cheek.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, worried.

"Paper," I whispered, focusing my head on the rune.

"What?"

"Paper," I said, louder. I looked up at him. "Paper, now. I need paper and a pen quick."

He paused for a moment. "Okay." He jumped up and rummaged through all of the papers on the piano top until he found a blank piece of paper and a pen. He rushed over to me, handed it over, and stared with a confused look. I ignored it and drew the rune that I'd seen. He watched every stroke of the pen silently until I finished. He stared for a moment. "What is this?"

"This," I held the paper up. "You don't recognize it, do you?"

"No, why would I?" He looked at the rune for a quick moment before turning his gaze back to mine.

"Let me give you a hint." He waited. "That night, with the demons, when they had me up against that wall?" His face still looked clueless. "Fire, the blue light?"

Then he got it. He looked at the rune again and back at me. "This rune," he pointed, "is the one that did that?"

"Yes," I said.

"You forgot it, what happened?"

"I don't know. It was just gone and it didn't leave a scar. But I have it now and we can't forget it if it's on paper." I looked at the rune again and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just worried about what could happen with it if someone gets to it when they shouldn't. Yeah, it's good for fighting demons and reviving but it's a destruction rune. If someone like Valentine got their hands on it bad things could happen. People would die."

"Valentine's dead. He's not coming back to hurt anyone."

"You don't think there will ever be people like Valentine? You don't think there are people now that are like him?"

"There will be, you don't need to worry about that. That isn't your fault."

"There are people still out there like that. There could be another Circle right now, for all we know."

"The people in the Circle weren't bad. Look at your parents and my parents, they aren't bad. They didn't know what Valentine was capable of at the time."

"Valentine is my parent, Jace. Half of me is made of him."

"You are Jocelyn's daughter. You're always going to be Jocelyn's daughter. You were raised like a mundie, the only thing in you that is Valentine is genes."

"Just because you're not raised by someone doesn't mean that you don't act like them."

"What are you talking about? I was raised by Valentine, Clary. I knew him and you are _nothing_ like him. You care about things other than yourself and Valentine could never do that."

"I'm not talking about me."

"Then who are you talking about?" He said.

"You! You're exactly like your father!"

"I have like, nine of those, Clare. Be a little more specific."

"Stephen. You are exactly like Stephen."

"What are you talking about? How would you even know that?"

"I met him," I said.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

"In a dream. I met him last night."

"That's was a dream, Clary. Dreams aren't real."

"You think the Angel blood stopped at runes? It was as real as anything. What we can do, what that blood did to us, it isn't normal. It shouldn't be possible but it is and it's real."

He paused. "Then why haven't they come to me?"

"I don't know, Jace," I said quietly. "Maybe what I can do isn't the same as what you can. I can't withstand the kind of things that you can. You can't make runes like I can. But they said that they'd been waiting for me. Maybe they just haven't come to you yet."

"What did they say?"

"Not that much. The dagger that Amatis gave you was a gift to Stephen. His sister, Rose's mother, gave it to him before he died and he left it to Amatis when he died. "

"Okay…" His face was still confused.

"It gave me the rune the first time."

"Oh. But how? They didn't know that I'd give it to you."

"I don't know how that works but they knew I had it."

He stared at the wall for a while. "You met my parents," he said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

I nodded, smiling sadly. "They wanted me to tell you that they love you and they're sorry."

"For what?"

"For not being there when you grew up. And for how you grew up."

He laughed once. "Yeah, well nobody is able change that now."

"Hey," I leaned forward, holding his face between both of my hands, "you're perfect, Jace. How you were raised doesn't affect you." I looked from one of his eyes to the other.

He grabbed my wrists and pulled my hands from his face.

"I know we've talked about this a million times but Valentine isn't your father. You don't get your personality from him."

"How do you know that?" He asked, glaring at the wall.

"Because you are _exactly_ like your father. _Your_ father, not mine."

He looked at me again.

"Yeah, Stephen is a jackass too." I smiled.

"Are you serious?"

"And you look exactly like him. Well, you have Celine's eyes. But everything else is exactly like your father."

He stared at the wall and bit at his lip. He hadn't moved away from me so he was still very close, enough for me to be able to feel him without touching him. And I didn't touch him.

"No one expects you to be okay with this. I know what it's like to have family you don't know about."

He laughed once, shaking his head. "It's stupid. She's not even a close family member. It's not like I have a sister I didn't know about. She's my cousin."

I closed my eyes for a moment when he said sister. "It's okay for you to feel, Jace."

He finally looked at me, his gold burning bright. But he didn't touch me. He looked angry and empty and upset. His teeth were clenched tight together, making his jaw look even more defined. It didn't matter how angry and upset he was. He was still beautiful; he'd always be beautiful.

"I do feel, that's what I'm worried about," he said.

My eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

He shook his head again. "I spent sixteen years refusing to feel. Then you showed up, and suddenly I'm feeling about something as stupid as a long lost cousin." I opened my mouth to speak but he kept talking. "You know, when I was fourteen I would train for five hours a day, just to make sure no feeling happened? And you were the only thing that made me give myself away. The _only_ thing. And I hated you for that sometimes. I would have hated you completely if I didn't love you. Even when you were my sister I couldn't help but give everything to you. I tried so hard to stay away from you. But you were always there in the back of my mind, like you lived there. And all I could do was try to stop thinking about you. Every red was your hair, every green was the same color as your eyes, and every girl who walked by wasn't good enough. I tried with Aline and even she wouldn't work."

"What do you mean 'even she didn't work'?" I asked.

"She was there and she was willing, more than willing," I clenched my teeth together tightly, "and I thought that if I just had someone other than you, I could ignore these _feelings_," he spat the word with a certain amount of hate, like he still loathed the idea of emotions. "And her fingers on me made me feel sick, her lips were worse, but I tried to stick it out because if I could just get enough of a girl that wasn't my sister, I thought maybe…" Jace stopped speaking, turning his eyes from the wall to mine. They were dark and shining and thoughtful. "But she wasn't you and that wasn't enough. It's like I was broken to other women."

I stared at him after he finished speaking, trying to decide if I should say anything or just sit there. And he stared back, seeming to be done with talking. I looked out of the window that'd changed color with the sunset.

I looked back at him and said very quietly, "Do you want me to apologize for that?"

Jace moved his hands to hold his head, palms pressed on his forehead. "I don't know what I want, but it's not that."

"I don't understand, Jace."

He shook his head a little and shrugged.

I held the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger for just a moment before I got up off the floor. I walked away and closed the door behind me, not saying anything. I didn't have anywhere to go really, so I just walked through the endless corridors of the Institute. I first came here two years ago and I still don't think I've been everywhere. It reminded me of a show I used to watch when Jocelyn was gone. The show that had a big blue box that was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. Jocelyn hated when I watched it because it involved aliens and time and space travel. Back in the day, I thought she'd think I would have some kind of crazy day dream about time travel, but really the aliens were too close to demons. Who knew?

"Clary?"

I turned around quickly, my hair whirling. Isabelle stood in the middle of the hall, her lips parted a bit and her head turned slightly to the side. She had her arm bent up and one finger extended a little.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her eyebrows moving together.

I blinked twice. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Why?"

"You've been walking through the halls for an hour now."

"That's not true, it couldn't have been that long." I pulled out my phone to see that it had in fact been an hour. "How is that possible?" I whispered to myself.

Izzy walked forward and put her hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again.

"Yeah, Iz, I'm fine."

"Where's Jace?"

"Uh," I tucked my hair behind my ear, "the last I saw him, he was in the music room."

"Hmm, well he's not there now. But we've only just checked so…"

I nodded. "I think… I think I'm going to go take a walk."

"You've been walking, Clary," Izzy said, raising one eyebrow.

"A proper walk," I said, moving past her. I could still feel her eyes on my back. "Quit worrying about me, Iz. I'm just as fine as I've always been."

"Yeah," she called, "that's what worries me."

My feet carried me until I got to where I wanted to be, Jace's room. He'd be in there, I knew. His door creaked when I opened it and when I closed it behind me. The door to his bathroom was cracked open just a bit and steam was rolling out of it. The sound of water beating against the tub also came from the room. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his bedroom door.

"Jace?" I said. He didn't respond and I figured he didn't hear me. I bit on my lip and squeezed my eyes tight just for a moment before pushing away from the wood. Watching my feet, they moved one in front of the other until they were at the steam from under the crack. Grabbing the handle, I pushed it open further, assaulting myself with the hot and wet air of the bathroom. It was very hot in there, making my clothes feel sticky very fast. The mirror was fogged over and the navy blue shower curtain was drawn closed. The air smelt heavily of soap. I huffed out a breath and turned to the shower. Gathering my wits, I reached up and curled my fingers around the curtain, pulling it back just a bit.

Jace turned around at the sound of the rattling metal against the rod. "Clary?" He asked, blinking against the water. He reached out and put his hand against the lower bit of the curtain, covering everything from half way down his abs to the floor.

I widened my eyes and tried to find my voice.

"What are you doing here?" He said, still sounding shocked.

"I… don't know." I stared up at him, water trailing over his face from his hair, the spray from the shower hitting his muscular shoulder and flowing down his body. His eyes were burning gold, brighter than usual.

Jace's eyebrows pulled down in confusion. "Okay…?"

And then he moved to face the wall, turning his face up to the shower head. The pressure of the water pushed his curls back and the stream ran down and flowed off his chin, landing back just below his neck and continuing down. At that point, I think I forgot how to breathe, or really what air was in the first place. And I didn't bother with blinking, fearing that it would take away my time with this view. He lifted his hands up and ran a bar of soap over his shoulder, mixing the soap with the water and flowing down his arm over the scars and golden flesh. And as he continued to spread the soap over his chest, stomach, and shoulders, I shook my head to orient myself.

"Jace," I said.

He turned his head toward me, making his hair fall forward into his face and his eyes continue to blink against the water.

"Are you—are we okay?" I asked, just wanting some assurance.

"Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?"

"Well," I said, "in that case." I reached up and grabbed him by the back of his neck, pulling him down and crushing my lips to his. He froze for a moment before reaching out and wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against him with the shower curtain caught between us. The front of my shirt soaked almost instantly and water wrapped around following his arm. I reached down and grabbed the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up and breaking the kiss for just a moment before tugging him back to me. And I stood there in jeans and a soft-pink bra, clutching at Jace who was wearing a lot less than that. One of my legs were in the tub, being drenched by the shower, while the other was outside and pushing up onto my tiptoes. He pulled me closer, my skin meeting his. Jace's flesh was hotter than the water even though he'd turned it up as warm as he could handle. Everything around me was burning and my lips were sliding against his, water flowing in every space it could.

"Jace?" A voice called from the door to his room. We both froze for a moment. "Jace, where are you?"

I looked at the door and saw that it was still cracked open. I got my leg out of the tub and ran a couple steps forward to close and lock the door. My back slid down the door until I was sitting on the floor. Then the voice was back.

"Jace, are you in there?" It was Maryse at the bathroom door, just on the other side of it from me. I covered my mouth and stilled.

"Yeah," Jace said, his voice sounding normal but his face was worried. He was staring at me. Angel, he was beautiful. I probably looked terrible, shirtless, soaked, and blushing. My hair was dripping on the rug and my jeans were uncomfortably tight against my legs, but I wasn't about to take those off.

"Have you seen Clary? Isabelle said she went out for a walk but I'm still a bit worried about her. I think she might be upset."

"No," Jace said, "I don't know. Maybe she went home."

Maryse paused. "Okay. What about you then, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm also in the shower so I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, I'll be in the library."

"Yeah," he said. I heard Maryse leaving and shutting the door behind her.

I huffed. "Geez, that was close."

He looked at me again before going back to finishing his shower. "In more ways than one."

I got up and went over to pick up my shirt. "Damn," I said.

"What?"

I rubbed it between my fingers, squeezing some water out of it over the sink. "I can't wear any of this. My jeans are soaked through and my shirt isn't much better."

The water cut off and Jace's hand flashed out and grabbed the towel from where it was hanging next to the shower. He emerged after a moment with the white towel wrapped around his hips. He grabbed the other towel and walked up behind me. I was staring at the shirt in my fists when I felt the towel go around my shoulders and him hug me back against his chest.

Looking up at him in the mirror, I saw him smile for a moment. He nuzzled his face into my neck and wet hair, rubbing his hands against the towel on my arms. His lips peppered kissed over my neck and shoulder.

"Hi," I said, winding my fingers into his hair.

"Mmm," he whispered against the skin of my neck. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his bare waist. His hand ran up and down my back, warming and drying it. I put my head on his chest and pressed my fingers into his shoulder blades, running them down slightly. His hair dripped down on top of my head and rolled down my face every once in a while. I looked up at him to see Jace staring down at me.

"So," he said after a moment, "did you really come in while I was taking a shower, take your shirt off, and make out with me? Or am I just dreaming?"

I blushed fiercely, backing up and wrapping the towel tighter around my shoulders. My eyebrows pulled down and I puckered my lips to the side, looking at him unhappily.

He rolled his eyes and reached forward, putting his hand on my cheek. Taking a step forward, he pressed his body against mine. "I was just teasing you, Clare. It's what I do. It's also the thing I'm best at."

"I thought you were best at being an arrogant ass," I said, smirking.

He smiled and put his arms around my waist, pulling me against him further. "Yeah, I'm pretty damn good at that. You know, I'm good at knowing what my girl needs, and at the moment, she needs clothes." Then he thought for a moment. "Well, she doesn't _need_ clothes, I mean, I would be perfectly happy if she never wore clothes again."

I punched him in the shoulder.

"Right," he said. "Clothes."

I nodded and smiled.

He walked out of the room before me, going to lock the door to the hall. He ducked back in and said, "All clear," with a mocking smile.

"If you tell anyone that this happened, I will kill you," I threatened, walking out of the room and following him to the dresser. "It will be slow, it will be terrible, and it will be immensely painful."

"I'd love that. You know what vicious Clary does to me."

I fake gagged. Seriously, I had to have had the only boyfriend in the _world_ who would get off from me trying to kill him. The pain wouldn't even distract him, he'd just stare at me.

He leaned over me. "Baby," he whispered, "you know you love it."

"Love what?" I leaned back like I was disgusted, but I knew he could tell I only wanted to lean forward.

His hand was back on my waist, tugging me to him. "My sick obsession with you being violent. That gag was fake and we both know it."

"Mmmm," I ran my finger down his jaw. "Can I have some clothes now?"

"Ugh, clothes. They're such a waste," he said, digging in his dresser. He pulled out a tank top and shorts that were obviously mine. Handing them to me, he went up to the top drawer and pulled out black boxer briefs. I smiled to myself and turned away, going back into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My hair was wet and wild but the flush on my cheeks had faded at top speed. I shed my wet jeans with a bit of difficulty and pulled the tank top over my head. Catching a look in the mirror, I gasped.

"Jace!" I said, storming out of the bathroom. He looked up when I entered his room. He was in only his underwear, but I didn't bother checking him out. "No."

"What's wrong?" He smiled.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him out of the way, opening the drawer that kept the bit of clothes he had that wear mine. I riffled through it, not finding any other tops.

"You have got to be kidding me," I growled under my breath.

"What's wrong?" He said again.

I looked down at the tank top that covered _wa_y less than anything classified as a shirt should. "Do you plan these things or do they just work out for you?"

Jace shrugged. "It's a talent."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, going into his closet and grabbing a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was huge on me. It was a deep black with a hood that could probably cover my entire head without trouble.

"Fun-ruiner," he mumbled.

"Pervert."

He reached out as I walked past him, catching me and pulling my back against his bare chest. He bent down and whispered, "Careful," in my ear.

I suppressed a shiver. "Careful of what?"

"You know," I felt his nose run down my jaw and his arm constrict against my waist, "I can think of a few perverted things you've done. I wouldn't want to have to bring those up every time you call me a name."

"I may have done a few things, but your track record is covered with inappropriate things you've done to me."

His lips went back up to my ear. "You love every second." His teeth were on my earlobe for a moment.

**Again, this chapter took way too long. I'm so sorry, loves. But there are a few reasons why it took so long, if you're willing to hear them. A) I have been exceedingly busy, b) I got sick in the middle there (at least that's what the Urgent Care Unit told me, I didn't believe them), and c) I started a novel. So basically, those are the gist of why this took two months. Also, this chapter was so hard to write. I was having troubles but it's here now, and I love you for waiting. So I might not update for a while because of the new novel. I loooooovvvveeeee you, darlings. Have a wonderful day.**

**DFTBA! and Best Wishes,**

**KelseyDockry**


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